Smashed (Alexa O'Brien, Huntress #8.5)(9)

Again her car was absent from the driveway. Again I fought the urge to head straight for Sinclair’s house. I wanted to kill him. I wanted to leave him in a pile of dust and drag Alexa out of there against her will.

But that wouldn’t be love.

The need to control my twin flame was part of the conflict that ruled us. We belonged to each other. That’s what made it so hard to let her go.

“You’re a sucker for punishment, Arys. Why do you do this to yourself? Go get her.”

“I can’t. She’ll hate me for trying to control her. This is a choice she has to make.” Making Jenner or Shaz understand bordered on impossible. I was ready to give up trying.

When I turned onto my street to find Shaz’s car parked in front of my house, I knew that it was an argument I was about to have again. The young wolf sat on the front step, drinking one of the beers I’d begun keeping in the fridge for him. He’d been here a lot lately.

“Cutting it a bit close, aren’t you?” Shaz scanned the horizon. “I’ve been here over an hour now.”

The loud clink of beer bottles crashing against one another drew my gaze to the half a dozen empties piled around his feet. Just what I needed, a drunken werewolf with an attitude parked on my front porch.

“I’ve been doing this for over three hundred years, pup. I think I can handle it.” With a pointed glance toward the empty bottles, I added, “Do you think this is the best time for you to start drinking?”

“Start?” he echoed. “I started at dusk. I’m just finishing up now.”

A sniff in his direction confirmed that claim. The wolf stank of booze. I ushered him inside. I couldn’t very well leave him to wallow by himself in the bottom of a bottle.

Once inside I grabbed a can of coffee from the cupboard and tossed it at him. His reflexes were still sharp. He caught it without a fumble.

“Make some coffee,” I ordered. “Time to sober up. You’re a real ass when you drink.” The coffee was something I’d kept around for Alexa. It was the one addiction she’d claimed she would never give up. I scowled at the coffee can, hating it for being such a painful reminder.

“Oh yeah?” Shaz raised a brow and gave me a cocky grin. “So what’s your excuse? You’re an ass all the time.”

Jenner chuckled and held his hands up in surrender. “Don’t even get me started on that one. I’ll leave you two to antagonize one another. I’m hitting the shower.”

I waited until he’d gone into the bathroom and closed the door. Then I turned to Shaz, letting my serious concern show. “What the hell are you doing, Shaz? This is no time to be drinking your life away. You’re better than that.”

A sneer curled his lips. He shook his head and drained the last of the beer in his hand. “Don’t tell me how to cope, Arys. I know better than to take advice from someone who has done nothing but hide out at home drawing endless pictures of dragons and wolves. You’re not coping any better than I am.”

I frowned. He’d reacted pretty much how I’d expected him to. “It’s not a contest. You need to keep your shit together right now. Alexa needs you to do that.”

A sharp bark of laughter erupted from him. He slammed the empty bottle on the counter. “Alexa doesn’t give a shit about us anymore. If she did, she would be here.”

“That’s not true, and you know it. Alexa is going through the hardest time of her life. She needs you to be there for her when she’s ready. Don’t let her down.”

Our gazes locked, and there was a silent struggle between us. Shaz was so incredibly young and stubborn. Trying to tell him something was like bouncing my head off a brick wall. Painful and ultimately pointless.

“What about what I need? When does that matter? When she’s done f*cking Kale?” Shaz’s green eyes became wolf. He clenched his fists, drawing my attention to the cuts and bruises adorning his knuckles. He’d been fighting too from the looks of it. If he’d come here to continue such activity, things might get interesting.

I had no answers for him. I wanted to smack him for saying such a thing though I had thought it myself. “That’s not how it is, Shaz. She died. Do you get that? Alexa died, and now she’s something that she doesn’t know how to be. Try to have some sympathy.”

His gaze dropped, and he studied the pattern on the linoleum as if it held some great secret. “Do you think they’re sleeping together?”

It was something I’d done my best to avoid thinking about. Picturing my wolf in Sinclair’s bed was enough to send me into a rage. It was dangerous. “Does it matter?” I tried to redirect the question rather than tell him what I really thought. He didn’t want to hear it. “The important thing is that she’s safe.”

“Wow,” Shaz said, running his hand through his hair as he often did when uncomfortable. “That is such a load of shit.”

“Shaz,” I warned. “Let’s not have this conversation again.”

“The sooner we go get Alexa, the sooner this conversation ends.” There was a hard set to his jaw. His wolf stared out at me, issuing a silent challenge.

But there was something else there, an unspoken need that shone in his eyes. Shaz’s pent up frustration was being fed by more than just emotional upset. It appeared to me that the wolf was hurting for a fix.