Since I Saw You (Because You Are Mine #4)(104)
One burning breath after another, however, and it slowly began to ease. He blinked the sweat out of his eyes, staring down. The image of Lin’s delicate rib cage heaving in and out struck him as beautiful. Poignant. With a rush, he recalled how wild he’d been there at the end. How ruthless. How determined to push his way into her body. Her mind. Her heart.
He leaned back his head and gave a muffled howl of rising misery.
“Kam?” Lin asked shakily.
He looked down and saw her lift her head and try to turn to see him. He slowly withdrew from her body, wincing as he did so.
“Come here,” he said quietly. He helped turn her on the bed. She whimpered in surprise when he lifted her from the mattress, the front of her body pressed to the front of his. He carried her to the bathroom.
“Kam?” Lin repeated dazedly when he set her next to the steam shower and reached to turn on the water. He pulled her under the hot spray with him, shutting the glass door. He briskly lathered up with soap and gently washed her, avoiding her gaze.
“What is it?” she demanded tremulously. “What’s happened to you?”
He looked at her face. She stared up at him, her shattered expression stabbing at him. He shut his eyes and looked away from her when he saw a single tear skip down her cheek. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I did that . . . tonight of all nights.”
“Why tonight of all nights? I don’t understand what you’re talking about. I can’t understand you at all ever since Ian told me that you planned to ask me to work for you.”
The water pounded on the shower floor in the silence that followed.
“I know that you’re in love with Ian.”
He met her stare. The water was starting to wet one side of her midnight hair. Water droplets clung to her neck and breasts. Her cheeks were still flushed from arousal. As he watched, her mouth fell open slowly in disbelief.
“What are you talking about?” she asked, her voice flat from shock. When he didn’t immediately respond, she searched his face wildly. “Have you spoken with Richard St. Claire? Did you go to the hospital?”
A sick feeing swept through him. He hadn’t really believed he was wrong in his assumption about her feelings for Ian. Still, proof he’d been correct was a blow for which he hadn’t prepared himself.
“No. I guessed it. From something Ian said.” Some of the vibrant color washed out of her cheeks. “He doesn’t know,” he assured her, guilt suddenly swamping him. It was unforgivable, the way he’d been acting. He was lashing out at the woman he’d fallen in love with because of something she couldn’t help. Love was blind, isn’t that what they said? She’d fallen for Ian long before she’d ever known Kam existed. He swept his hand through his damp hair in a frustrated gesture. It seemed ludicrous in the aftermath of his storm of chaotic emotion that he’d convinced himself he was angry at her for not being honest with him. As if he would have ever taken it well, hearing from her lips that she was attracted to him because he resembled his brother, or that while she may enjoy him in bed, her heart belonged to another man.
Yeah, he would have taken that really well, he realized simmering in self-deprecation.
“I figured it all out when Ian told me to buy you purple lotus flowers yesterday. He said they were your favorite,” Kam explained to her hollowly. “I remembered how you had several pressed ones in your bedside drawer . . . the ones Ian had given you over the years, right?”
She didn’t reply. She seemed shell-shocked upon having her secret revealed so unexpectedly. He raised his hand to touch her face—comfort her—but the memory of how he’d treated her earlier made him drop it. He exhaled, suddenly feeling weary.
“That, and a lot of other things I’ve learned since I’ve gotten to know you these past few weeks, led me to it. You’re so contained. So controlled. I figured if there was anyone on the planet who could take the pain of a broken heart day in and day out, and still be so strong and loyal, it was you.” He met her stare. “I just figured it out, Lin.”
Her stunned silence was like a shouted condemnation. He stared sightlessly at the tile surround.
“Are you okay? Did I hurt you?” He waved vaguely toward the direction of the bedroom.
“No,” she whispered.
He swallowed thickly, relief at her answer barely penetrating the dense weariness that had come over him. “I’ll just go and give you some privacy.” He reached for the shower door and then turned back. She stood in the exact spot, unmoving.
“I didn’t sleep with you to influence you to work at Reardon Technologies. I did that because I can’t keep my hands off you. I’ve fallen for you, Lin. Hard,” he added grimly. “I thought it must have been obvious, but what do I know? I don’t have much experience with something like this. Any, to be honest.”
He stepped out of the shower, shutting the door between them.
Chapter Nineteen
When Lin had finally recovered sufficiently from her shock and got out of the shower to dress, she discovered Kam and Angus were both gone. Had Kam taken Angus for a walk to offer her the opportunity to make a less awkward exit if she chose?
Lin was so overwhelmed by the events of the night, she took that chance. She fled. She was distraught and confused by the things Kam had revealed. Part of her was thrilled that he’d told her he’d fallen for her. She still couldn’t believe it, though. But she also felt guilty. She should have told him about Ian. Shouldn’t she have?