Simple Perfection (Perfection #2)(51)

"If she ever saw me watching her rock the baby she would yell at me and often hit me. She would tell me to be quiet, that the baby was sleeping. Or to go fix my brother some food and make sure he ate it. I hated making my brother food. I knew he'd never eat it and that it would get old and stinky before she'd finally give in and throw it away. The smell of rotten food permeated our house. I hated the stench." I lay still in Woods's arms. I knew that what I was telling him was disturbing. I knew it would bother him, but it was helping. He had been right. Talking about what I'd lived through with someone who loved me, not just a psychiatrist, helped.

"When she was rocking the baby doll she would eventually realize it was plastic. I never knew what it was she saw but she would start screaming demon child and she would throw it across the room like it was on fire. Then she would claw at herself and pull her hair. She would tell the doll she was sorry that she had let him go to the store. She was sorry that she hadn't kept him safe. But then she would point and scream demon at it again. I didn't usually watch that part except for once. It terrified me. When she started screaming I would hurry back to my room and close my door. That's what I was dreaming about tonight. One of those moments."

Woods let out a long, shaky breath. "Shit," he whispered, then pressed his face to the top of my head. He didn't say anything else. He just held me. That was what I needed the most.

It didn't feel like I thought it would, opening myself up like that to him. I had always thought that showing someone what was inside, what had been my life, would expose me in a way that would make me unlovable. But I didn't feel that way in Woods's arms. He held me tightly to him and kissed my head. No other words were needed.

My eyes closed and I relaxed in his arms. I had always felt safe with Woods. That wasn't new. But now . . . now I felt like I'd found my anchor. My entire life I'd held on to anything I thought could hold me still and keep me from going under. I had clung to Braden for years, hoping that having her would remind me I was normal. That I wasn't in that house anymore. But even though she loved me, she had never made me feel completely secure. She couldn't give me the grounding I needed. I thought no one would ever be able to give that to me. Not after all I'd seen and lived through. I knew now that it wasn't true. With Woods's arms wrapped around me and the beat of his heart pressed against my chest, I knew he would hold me steady. If I ever fell, I'd have him to catch me.

Woods

I had drunk three cups of coffee that morning to prepare myself for the early tee time I had with Nile. After Della had told me about her dream last night and shared her memories, I hadn't been able to sleep. I'd wanted to hold her and watch her sleep. The idea of her having another dream like that and my not being awake to stop it scared the shit out of me.

That was f**ked up. What she'd lived through was more f**ked up than I could even imagine. She worried that she wasn't strong enough, but, damn, anyone who had lived through what she had and still functioned normally day to day was strong. Della did more than function. She laughed, she made friends, she enjoyed life, she made me smile, and she completed my world. She was the strongest person I had ever met.

"Sorry I'm late. The girls woke up early and I was trying to get them something to eat so they could watch television and let their mother sleep late," Nile said, interrupting my thoughts.

With his dark hair and blue eyes, he looked so much like Della that it was hard for me not to stare at him. There was no arguing that this man was her father. "No worries. I haven't been here long," I assured him.

"You want a caddy?" I asked. I never used one but most members did.

Nile glanced over at the golf cart I had already pulled around with my clubs and a set from the clubhouse. He had mentioned last night that he hadn't brought his clubs with him.

"No, I think I'd like it to be just us," he said with a smile.

He wanted to talk about Della. I figured as much. Which was why I hadn't already had a caddy on standby.

"All right, then we're ready to go. I have water in the cooler but if you want something more, a cart will be around by the time we get to the third hole. We can order something from it if you prefer."

"Water's great. Too early for anything else," he replied.

I drove us to the first hole. "Della is looking forward to meeting the girls and your wife down at the beach today." They had planned a beach day. Nile was going to join them after our game. I was going to go work and give Della time alone with them.

"The girls can't wait to see Della again. They really took to her. Jillian adores her, too."

I parked the cart. "Della's hard not to adore," I said before getting out.

"Yeah, she is. She's much like her mother . . . uh, Glenda, that way."

I hadn't met Glenda but I wanted to. Della looked like her birth father but she didn't have his personality.

Nile pulled his driver from the bag. "Della seems happy here," he said.

"She is," I replied.

He didn't move to set up his shot. He studied me instead. "You haven't proposed to her. And I couldn't help but notice she didn't make it sound like marriage was in her near future last night when the girls were questioning her."

Not a conversation I had expected to have with him today. I pulled my driver from the bag and tried not to get pissed by this line of questioning. "We haven't talked about marriage yet."