Shelter Mountain (Virgin River #2)(116)

“What’s right away?”

“Tomorrow.”

“You took the oath?” he asked, and Rick nodded. “We don’t even have time to send you off?”

Rick shook his head. “All I wanted was to make sure Liz is okay. That I can go and she’ll be okay.”

“And…?”

“She’s not thrilled, but she’s gotten pretty tough. She says she’ll write to me, but you know what? She’s so young. When I’m out of the picture awhile, she’ll have a chance to start over without this thing we went through together hanging all over her like a dark cloud. I’ll almost be happier if she doesn’t write to me. That would mean she’s moving on.”

“You want her to move on, man?” Preacher asked.

“That’s one of the reasons I have to do something like this. I don’t know that, either. Who knows what me and Lizzie had? Besides a baby that didn’t live.” He looked down. “I was working so hard at doing the best I could, I never had time to check, see what I’d be feeling if there wasn’t any pressure. And neither did she. That’s just not fair to her.”

“What about college, Rick?” Preacher asked. “I thought between the three of us, one would go to college at least.”

“There’s time, if I want to do that. I didn’t sign up for life. I signed up for four years.”

“Just one thing,” Jack said. “This isn’t some idiotic idea you got in your head to make us proud, is it? Because you know we’re proud. You know we couldn’t be more proud. You get that, right?”

Rick smiled. “You guys being proud is what got me through. Nah, it’s not about that. I think if I grieve this anymore, I’ll die inside. I have to go. Do something. Start something important. I have to push on something that’ll push back.”

“Semper, she’ll push back, Rick,” Preacher said. “She’ll push back real hard, like you want.”

Jack lifted a glass. “Do we drink to hardness?”

“That’ll work,” Rick said. “Say you support me. Say you respect my choice.”

“You’re a man, Rick. You thought it through, made a decision. Here’s to you.”

They drank. Preacher ducked his head away and gave a sniff. “You’re killing me, man,” he said.

Rick reached across the bar and grabbed the big man’s good arm, giving it a shake. He swallowed hard. “Will you guys look after my grandma? Make sure she’s all right?”

“What did she say about this, Rick?” Jack asked him.

He lifted his chin bravely. “She said she understands. She has a lot of pride, you know. She doesn’t want me hanging out here, taking care of her. And she knows this has been really tough for me—that I have to get past it. Any way I can.”

“There’s a good woman,” Preacher said. “We’ll watch out for her.”

“Thanks.” Rick stood from the bar stool. “You guys gonna be okay?”

“Hey,” Jack said. “We’re tough. What time do we leave?”

“Seven in the morning. I’ll be down.”

The morning came way too soon for all of them. Rick showed up with his packed duffel, but couldn’t escape the gathering at the bar. Mike was there to send him off. No way Mel was going to let him go without a tearful hug. Nor Paige nor Doc. Even Chris was up bright and early, and while still in his pajamas, he grabbed Rick’s neck and had to be pried loose. Connie and Ron were there, emotional at the parting. Preacher almost killed him with his one-armed bear hug. “God,” Preacher said, “you better be careful.”

“Hey, it’s just Basic. They can’t do too much to me at Basic. But yeah, Preach. I’ll be real careful, you don’t have to worry about that.”

It was pretty hard to talk on the way to Garberville. Jack was feeling a powerful ache in his chest. And a lump in his throat.

“I’m excited about this, Jack. It’s the first time I’ve been excited in months. You remember how you felt when you first went in?”

“Scared shitless.”

“Yeah.” He laughed. “I’ve got some of that, too.”

“Rick, they’re going to try to pound the stuffing out of you. You’re going to think it’s personal. It’s not.”

“I know.”

“You’re going to want to quit, and you can’t.”

“I know.”

“You don’t have to fight, you know. There are two Corps—the fighting Marines and the support staff. You don’t have to fight if you’re not sure.”

“Were you sure?” Rick asked.

“No, son.” Jack looked at him. Rick sat tall. Strong. “No, Rick. I wasn’t sure till I was trained, and then I still wasn’t sure. It just felt like what I wanted to do at the time, and I went that way knowing I might be wrong. But I went that way.”

“That’s where I’m at. Just a feeling. But damn, it’s good to have a feeling again. One that doesn’t hurt.”

“Yeah,” Jack said in a breath. “I can imagine.”

At the bus, there was one last hug. “I’ll see you after Basic,” Jack said. “You’ll do good. I’m proud of you.”