September Moon (Alexa O'Brien, Huntress #8)(18)

Shaz shrugged and slumped in his seat. “I don’t know, Lex. People change. I changed.”

“I feel like I don’t know you anymore.” The words just slipped out, a breathy whisper that might as well have been a scream. He turned sharply to look at me, but I kept staring straight ahead at the Doghead sign. Once my hands steadied, I put the car in gear.

“Welcome to my world,” he muttered, turning away to stare out the window.

When I hit the brakes at the edge of the lot, I slid a glance his way. A sinking sensation settled in my gut. I’d done such a good job of convincing myself that Shaz and I were back on track. The truth was, I wasn’t sure we ever could be.

As much as I wanted to believe we were all good, I knew that things had changed too much. They were still changing. Our private encounters were comprised of my need to feed and the desperate act of two people going through the motions, seeking but never finding the intimacy we’d once had. Maybe I was so desperate to hold onto the past that I was unwilling to accept that we had no future.

Shaz looked at me with a raised brow. Feeling like my thoughts must be written all over my face, I averted my gaze and eased the car into traffic.

* * * *

When we pulled into The Wicked Kiss parking lot, I tried to beat back the nervousness that gripped me. It had been some time since Shaz had been there. The first thing I noted was that Kale’s old Camaro was absent. That was a relief. It was early though, barely midnight. Despite the early hour, Willow sat at his usual place at the bar. More relief.

“Damn am I glad to see you,” I said, clapping him on the back before sliding onto the stool next to him.

Willow nodded and raised a tequila shot in greeting to Shaz who sat on his other side. Then he peered at me with a serious stare, reading me in a way that I still wasn’t used to. Perception was one of Willow’s talents. He could see right through the projected walls I tried to hide behind.

“Bad night already?” he inquired. “Do tell.”

“Our visit to Doghead didn’t go so well. Unfortunately. Anyway, I need to talk to you.” I wished I could be alone with him so I could vent about Shaz. “Shya was in my bedroom. He took my hair and my blood. I can’t put this off anymore. I need to know more about this scroll he’s looking for.”

“I’ll tell you anything I know. As long as you’re sure that you’re ready to hear it.” Willow’s smile was warm and friendly. He had a way of making me feel like I could tell him anything. And I had. Many times.

I gazed into his gold-flecked green eyes and saw the answers I sought within them. Everything had gone down so fast since I learned that Shya needed me as a sacrifice. Soon after, I’d taken off to Vegas. I hadn’t been able to bring myself to question Willow because deep inside I knew there was more to his sudden appearance in my life than he let on.

“You know, don’t you?” I asked. “What Shya wants, why he needs me. You know all of it.”

Willow smiled and his shoulders sagged as if a weight was lifted from him. “You’d better have a drink, Alexa. There are some things I need to tell you.”

Raising his hand to get the bartender’s attention, Willow had extra shooter glasses and a fresh bottle of tequila perched in front of us in no time. I wrinkled my nose at the shot he put in front of me.

After sliding one to Shaz, Willow raised his shot and said, “To the creatures of light who walk in dark places.”

At his insistent look, I raised my glass. There was no bracing for what was coming. Liquor was my only human vice, for now. But tequila, that was an ass kicker of a drink that would put me on my face if I wasn’t careful. I clinked my glass against each of theirs before downing the contents in one swift gulp. I slammed the shot glass down and reached for a slice of lime. “Oh God, that burns.”

Willow watched with amusement glittering in his eyes as I coughed. “Ready? Or do you want another?”

“As ready as I’m gonna get.” I motioned for him to start talking. “But pour me another one. Just in case I can’t handle whatever it is you’re going to tell me.”

The tequila burned in my stomach, but I gripped the shooter as if it was a security blanket. Willow tossed back another shot. Then he took my free hand in his.

“Before I fell, I was sent to look for the scroll. The same scroll that Shya’s seeking. I was also instructed to protect the Hound of God he was after. You.” Willow paused, letting that sink in. “I grew to care very much for you. Unfortunately, I failed you when I fell.” Willow stopped. He seemed to be searching for the right words. He opened his mouth to continue then shook his head and reached for the tequila bottle.

I looked down at our joined hands. The way I felt with Willow, safe and loved, it made sense now. “I think part of me knew that you were here for me,” I said. “I felt it.”

“I fell in love with Christina. It was wrong but it happened, and I have no excuses. Shya found me with her. After I fell, he wanted me to join him. When I refused, he threatened to kill you both. He made me decide between the two of you.” Willow’s voice grew husky. He stared at the liquor bottle, remembering. “So I did what I had to. I chose the one who was born to stop him. I chose you.”

My jaw dropped. A small cry slipped out. “Shya killed Christina?”

“It was his way of punishing me for refusing to join him.”