See Me (See Me #1)(35)

“Oh, please.” Cassidy laughed. “If you saw the way he was looking, it’s more like he’s caught between whether or not to punch something or eat you up.”

“Whatever.” I really did not want to get my hopes up.

“It’s not his fault the FFG’s stalking him.”

“I know, but…” But what? “You didn’t see them together.”

“His body has an auto-response to her magic, Robyn. You should be pulling him closer not pushing him away.”

I grunted. The fact of the matter was that the FFG was a problem, and she wasn’t going away. I couldn’t seem to stop my instinct of self-preservation.

“Let’s find the guys and hang out with them tonight!” Cassidy hopped a little as she walked by my side.

“No, Cass. I’m tired and it’s raining. I just want to go to bed.”

She exhaled dramatically and flopped her arms down at her side. “Are you, like, depressed or something?”

I bristled. I didn’t want to be depressed, but maybe I was. And at the moment Cassidy’s pushiness made me feel unreasonably annoyed.

“I’m honestly tired,” I said. “I get up early and work all day, while some people get to sleep in because they stayed out all night playing.”

“Hey, I help out sometimes. And you don’t have to bite my head off, geez. I’m just surprised by how you’re acting. I mean, if you want to give up so easily, that’s your prerogative.”

“I’m not giving up. But I’m also not getting involved in whatever game McKale and the FFG are playing. He hasn’t even tried to talk to me. I don’t expect you to understand. You’re in a pressure-free relationship with a guy who doesn’t have a life-sized murderous Barbie telling him to stay away from you.”

Up ahead, Mom turned to glance at us and we smiled automatically, lowering our voices.

“Well, if it was me, I’d fight for him. That’s all I’m saying.”

“How do you fight a Fae, Cass? You can’t! Even if I somehow make him really want me, I can’t make her stop wanting him!”

“I was only trying to talk, sheesh. Calm down and take a Midol,” she grumbled, quickening her footsteps until she was alongside our parents.

I sighed and crossed my arms, walking alone. I hated these ugly feelings and I knew I was taking it out on the people I loved. This was not me. Something had to give. Soon.

On the tenth morning after the date that didn’t happen, I smiled to myself and placed a warm brown egg into the basket on my arm. It was the first dry morning, which lifted my spirits. Preparing to reach into the straw and feel for another, I caught sight of something moving on the other side of the fence that was bigger than any farm animal. I stood abruptly, banging my head on the top of the hen house and making a chicken squawk and flap her wings.

“Ow. Sorry,” I said to the hen. Then I stooped to set down my basket. Through the slats in the wood I spied McKale’s profile and my stomach flipped. The hen stared up at me like she was wondering what I was waiting for. I took a deep breath and ducked out of the hen house to face him.

I looked at him openly, hoping he would see that I was glad for his visit. And insanely relieved that he’d sought me out.

He stood there shifting his feet, his arms behind his back. His sideburns stuck out more than usual, like he hadn’t bothered to trim them. I took no satisfaction knowing this situation was affecting his grooming. But maybe if he let himself go long enough the FFG would lose interest. Ha.

“Are you on your way to work?” I asked.

“Aye,” he whispered, more gruff than usual.

In a slow movement, he pulled his hands from behind his back and held out a tiny woven basket brimming with plump strawberries and blackberries. “I brought ye something, Robyn.”

My heart sputtered.

He held the berries out to me in the palm of his long hand. I reached out and took his offering, pulling it gently against my chest.

I’d never seen any berries in the kitchens. There were mostly breads and proteins in there. Fruits and veggies were picked outside and eaten at will, like snacks. I noted the slight way McKale’s hand shook, and the look of anticipation in his eyes as he watched me, waiting. It was then that it hit me.

This was a gift.

“Thank you,” I whispered, feeling everything that had hardened inside of me softening again, that easily. Guilt for avoiding him punched me from the inside and I felt horrible for the wall I’d built around myself.

A relieved huff of air blew from his lips and he put his hands on his hips, hanging his head.

“I’d best be on my way,” he said.

“Wait.” I stepped forward, but I had no idea what to do or say. What happens now? Movies and books always made it seem so easy to open up and talk to someone you liked. But in real life it was so, so hard.

“Have you seen her again since that night?” Of all the questions I could have asked him, this was the one I didn’t even want to know the answer to. Why was I torturing myself? It was bad enough that I’d lie in bed every night imagining her sneaking through the portal and slipping into his room.

McKale’s forehead tightened at the question and he hesitantly met my eyes. “No.”

“You know you can’t have us both,” I whispered, feeling courageous.