Seducing Simon(12)

“Toni, wait!”

She didn’t stop to listen. She didn’t have the answers to his questions. Couldn’t afford to let him continue probing.

Simon toweled his hair and walked into the living room, his hands holding the towel around his neck. “What the hell is going on? Was that Toni leaving?”

“Yeah,” A.J. said looking extremely guilty. Much like when he’d just eaten his or Matt’s food at the station.

“What did you say to her?” he demanded. “If you’ve upset her, I’ll kick your ass.”

“I asked her about the father.”

Simon swore under his breath. It wasn’t anything he didn’t want the answer to himself, but now wasn’t the time to press her, and A.J. should have known it. “Will you ever learn to keep your big mouth shut?” To A.J.’s credit, he looked contrite.

“Did you make her cry again?”

“Uh, no, I think she was more pissed.”

“Damn it, A.J. This was supposed to be a day for her to rest and relax. Use your head for once.”

He looked miserable. “Ah hell, I didn’t mean to upset her.”

Simon walked through the kitchen and looked out the front door. Her Jeep was gone. A.J. was well meaning, but could be a complete knuckle head sometime. Simon had an idea where she may have gone. If he knew her, she’d gone to the park. Her thinking spot since she was in junior high.

He headed back to his room and pulled on a pair of jeans and a T-shirt. He walked back by A.J. “I’ll be back later.” As he continued on, a slow smile spread across A.J.’s face. He wasn’t even going to ask what prompted that shit eating grin.

Toni sat on the playground swing watching the children play while their mothers watched. She would be one of those soon. Mother. The thought scared her to death. She wasn’t ready to be responsible for another human being.

She loved children. Had always wanted at least four. But she’d also imagined she’d be married to the perfect guy. Live in the perfect house.

They’d sit on the couch in the evening, and he’d hold her and feel the baby kick. They’d share their hopes and dreams of the future. But most of all they’d love each other, and they’d be happy.

A single tear trailed down her cheek, and she quickly bent her face into her shoulder to wipe it away. Her feet trailed aimlessly in the dust underneath the swing. How had she gotten herself into such an irrevocable mess?

She who had never done an irresponsible thing in her life. Quiet, shy Toni would never dream of seducing the guy she had a crush on for years. And especially not one who hadn’t the capacity to realize what he was doing. He would die if he knew. She would die if he knew.

But on that night, she hadn’t been able to hold back her feelings another moment. Angry at the woman who dared to hurt Simon, she had opened her arms to him determined to make him forget the pain.

Determined to show him how she felt.

And God, it had been beautiful. It hadn’t mattered that it was her first time. She knew instinctively that she would never experience anything like it again. It was what she’d waited for. He had worshipped her body just as she worshipped his. They’d spent the night loving until he’d fallen into a deep sleep.

She’d worked out the entire scene in her head. When he woke up, he would pull her into his arms and tell her how glad he was they’d found each other. They’d make love again.

Only when she had snuggled into his arms, he’d called her Starla.

She’d fled from his bed, her heart shattered into a million pieces. The hardest thing she’d ever had to do was to go on like it never happened.

Accept his thanks the next morning for being such a good friend.

Realizing he had no clue what they’d done. Then continue on, aching for him, wanting so badly for him to love her as much as she loved him.

And then she found out she was pregnant.

She traced circles in the dirt with her tennis shoe as she swayed back and forth on the swing. A shadow fell over her, and she heard someone sit in the swing next to her. “Nice day,” Simon said in a nonchalant voice.

She turned her head up to see him staring ahead, watching the children play. “Did A.J. send you?” she asked with a sigh.

“No. The bonehead does feel bad though.” She smiled involuntarily.

“Now that’s better. I haven’t seen you smile in awhile.”

She expelled her breath in a long sigh, her cheeks puffing out. “I’m not ready for this, Simon.”

“Maybe not, but you’ll be a wonderful mom.”

“It’s not just that.”

“What is it then?”

“It wasn’t supposed to happen like this.” She struggled against the urge to cry. “I was supposed to find the perfect guy. Someone who was madly in love with me. We were to be married, then have children. We’d go to the appointments together. Get excited over the sonogram. Pick out baby furniture. Buy the perfect house.” She turned to look at him. “That’s all gone now. Who’s going to want to marry someone with a baby? I couldn’t get a date before. I sure as hell won’t get one now.”

He looked stunned by her outburst. She looked away again. “It all sounds horribly selfish I know. I shouldn’t be so self-absorbed now that there is a baby to consider, but I can’t get over the resentment. And more than that, I can’t get over being so angry at myself for screwing up everything I ever dreamed about.”