Second Chance Pass (Virgin River #5)(87)

Vanni took a short break and, wiping her hands on a dish towel, walked out on the deck for some cool air. What she saw took her by surprise. Paul was standing in front of Matt’s grave. Memories of standing there herself came flooding back, and she walked down the deck stairs and across the lawn, up onto that small rise. “Paul?” she asked.

He turned, saw her there and gave her a small, sad smile, lifting his arm. “Aw, Vanni, Vanni…”

“Are you all right, Paul?”

“Sure,” he said, giving her shoulders a squeeze.

“You know, if we both start brooding at this grave, it’s going to drive Dad nuts.”

“I’ll try not to make a habit of it. Listen, can I say something? Just once, then I won’t again?”

“Paul, you can say anything to me. Are you missing him?”

“I’ll always miss him, honey. Sometimes I think about when we were just boys together and I can see it so clearly, it’s like being back there. When we were kids in high school, we never even talked about the Marine Corps. We talked about girls, sports, girls, tattoos, girls, trucks…He had all the girls, though. I never had any nerve. I wouldn’t have even had a prom date if Matt hadn’t made it happen. Who knew the crazy fool was going to make himself into a lifer.” Paul turned and held her upper arms in his big hands, looking down into her eyes. “Do you have any idea how much I love you?”

“I do,” she said, smiling.

“Well, I’d give my life for you, that’s how much. I’ve never been happier than these past few weeks. But I was just telling Matt—I’d give it all up and live alone and miserable and jealous till the end of time if I could get him back. He was the most amazing man, the most incredible friend. It would probably kill me, but I’d give this up if it meant he could live.”

Vanni put a hand along his cheek. “He knows that already, Paul. He always knew that.”

“You have to be real sad sometimes, honey. Even now. You don’t ever have to hide that from me. I’ll hold you through the tears now, just like I did before—and I won’t feel cheated. Not by a long shot.”

“Paul, I wouldn’t hide anything from you,” she said sweetly. “Not long after Matt and I met, I lost my mom—and she was the best friend I ever had. And then I lost my husband to a war. Do you have any idea what a gift I have in you? It was like being rescued. I didn’t know I could feel like this. I thought every day would hurt forever. It’s probably not really stronger than what I felt for Matt, but coming after all that loss and pain, it sure feels like a miracle to me. Oh—I’ll always miss him, too. I can’t help that. But I’m so grateful to have you in my life. I’m not giving you up.”

“I just wish there was a way I could know—I wish I knew he was okay with this—you and me.”

“Remember, I told you,” she said, smiling. “I ran it by him already. A few times. Before you ever let me know how you felt.”

“I wish I could know he forgives me for—for wanting you all those years you belonged to him…”

She laughed softly, sweetly. “I think you’re being silly now. You showed him such incredible respect, never letting anyone know. Paul, there’s nothing to forgive.”

“The night Mattie came, I was out here talking to him. Jack came and got me—he said Matt had moved on. He said we each have our destiny and Matt’s took him somewhere else.”

“Yeah—wherever he is, he’s tearing the place up, making people laugh, feel good. Paul, this would make Matt happy. You know how much you love him? He loved you that much or more. I can’t think of anyone he’d rather have raise his son.”

“I’ll do the best I can with that, honey. I’d sure like to make Matt proud. I’ll try to be as good a husband as Matt was.…”

She shook her head and smiled at him. “You’re not going to have to try. As far as I can tell, you’re a natural.”

Jack stood on his front porch with his morning coffee. He saw something in the distance that caused his pulse to pick up. He looked out over the valley to the northeast and saw a thin column of gray smoke that wound its way to a plateau in the sky and he hoped, beyond hope, it was nothing to worry about. It had been an unusually dry spring.

Mel came outside and he dropped an arm around her shoulders as she snuggled close. “What is it?” she asked.

“Fire. Could be a controlled burn, could be wildfire. It’s been awful dry.”

“Has Virgin River ever been threatened by fire?”

“Not the town, no. There was a big one just north of here a few years ago. Right after Preacher showed up. Everyone pitched in. We dug a lot of ditches, hauled drinking water, drove trucks. Then we got certified in training so we could be ready.”

“What would happen?” she asked. “If a fire got too close?”

“Well,” he said, his arm tightening around her. “We’re sitting in the middle of a forest, Mel. This place could end up looking like the face of the moon.” He lifted his eyes to the horizon. “We need a good, solid rain. And there isn’t any forecasted. This forest is pure kindling.”

Tom graduated with honors and the general and Vanessa hosted a party at their home, open to all their friends and all of Tom’s friends. The young people were on the move—they’d spend the entire weekend going from one open house to another. Tom and Brenda and some of their friends spent about an hour at the Booth home before taking off for other graduation parties, but the adults didn’t mind a bit that they were left to themselves.