Second Chance Pass (Virgin River #5)(28)

“Maybe he’ll be right back. Can I get you anything? A nightcap?”

“No, thanks,” he said a little nervously. “So—rumor has it the doctor was here last week…”

She smiled. “Mel was right. If there’s anything you want to keep secret, get out of this town!”

“Did you want that to be a secret?” he asked, lifting his brows.

“No reason for that,” she said with a shrug. “I didn’t invite him. Yes, he came to town. I showed him around, had dinner at Jack’s, took him for a ride. He’s not great on a horse.” She grinned.

“How is he off the horse?” Paul heard himself ask.

She laughed at him, then said, “Cameron seems to be a very nice man. But then, we knew that.”

“A woman in your position—you’d probably be very interested in someone like him,” he said.

“Well, Paul, I have to admit, it’s nice to finally have a man pay a little romantic attention to me. It’s been a very long time. I know I haven’t been widowed all that long—but it’s been almost a year since…” Her voice trailed off and she looked away.

“Since?” he said, talking like a man who had had that drink.

She let her gaze drift back with a mysterious half smile on her lips. Vanni almost laughed, wondering how poor Paul would react if she said, “Since someone melted my bones with an orgasm…” A secret chuckle escaped her. Paul was sweet and affectionate, but far too taciturn. She reminded herself to treat him gently. He was very cautious with women. If he weren’t, he’d have been married years ago with a flock of children by now. “Since anything, Paul,” she said. “Anything at all.”

“Sorry,” he said, dropping his chin. “I didn’t mean to get so personal…”

She laughed at him. “Paul, you weren’t this shy with me when I was delivering Mattie. What’s going on?”

He took a breath. “Vanni, Vanni…I have things to explain. Difficult things. I know I don’t seem like the kind of guy who’d have complications in his life. I seem more like the kind of guy who has no life at all. But before Matt…Before I came down here to finish Jack’s house…I went out sometimes, you know?”

She laughed a little. “Paul, even though you never said anything, and I know you’re kind of shy around women, I assumed—”

“Stupid,” he said, interrupting. “I’m mostly stupid around women.”

“Uncertain, maybe. But under the right circumstances…”

“Exactly,” he said, almost relieved. “Under the right circumstances things can happen that you just don’t expect.”

She frowned slightly. “Paul, I understand you went out with women. Why wouldn’t you? You’re a handsome, single man.”

“It’s about me being a little absent since Mattie was born…I have a situation to work out.”

“A situation in Grants Pass?” she asked.

“Yeah,” he said, rubbing a hand across the back of his sweaty neck. He took a breath. “Before I came down here last fall, I went out with a woman a couple of times. Just a casual thing. Nothing serious. But then the whole goddamn world shifted, Matt was killed, Mattie was due, I stayed here with you, we got a lot closer during that time. It might’ve been all about Matt and the baby at first, but that’s irrelevant—we got real close. You and me.”

“As close as brother and sister?” she asked him softly, hopeful about what could be coming.

“A lot closer than that, Vanni. At least in my mind. Then I went back to Grants Pass and not that much had changed there. I had changed, boy had I changed, but things back home were…”

“The same?” she asked. And she thought, there’s a woman in Grants Pass. Someone who had perhaps become important to him. “That woman you went out with a couple of times—when did you meet her?”

“Why?” he asked, perplexed.

“When?”

“God,” he said, rubbing his sweaty palms on his jeans. “I don’t know. About a year ago, I guess.”

“A year ago? Jesus, Paul. Why didn’t you just tell me!”

“Tell you what?”

“There’s a woman! All this time, there’s been a woman!”

“No. No. There was just this woman I saw a couple of times and…”

She stood up abruptly. “That wouldn’t be complicated.”

He stood, as well. “I had a few things to figure out, Vanni—that’s why I wasn’t in touch for a while. And now I have an…unexpected situation at home I have to work out, but I’m going to get that under control and I’ll be here a lot more, I promise.”

“Oh, for God’s sake,” she spat out. “Just say it. You’re involved with someone and it doesn’t work into your plans to spend time in Virgin River!”

“That’s not it,” he said nervously.

“You know everything about me! Yet you couldn’t even casually mention you were seeing someone at home?”

“It’s not like that. Listen, I just need some time on this. Some patience. Because I really intend to do better by you than I have. I know I haven’t been here for you like I meant to be and—”