Search Me(56)

I blew through the door and then started pounding down the stairs. My chest ached at the difference between the way I was coming down them this morning, all broken and defeated in spirit from Jensen’s call, as opposed to how Maddox had carried my drunken self up them the night before like a knight in shining armor. Everything appeared so different in the harsh light of day.

Flinging open the truck door, I tossed my purse inside. Then I hooked my hand through the harness and hoisted myself into the cab. Maddox opened his door as I slammed mine. I craned my neck to eye the truck bed, where he had put the tools in earlier. I noticed two shovels and a Coleman lantern almost like the ones we’d used at the house we’d broken into.

Maddox cranked up the engine and then threw the truck into reverse. As we careened onto the highway, I buckled my seatbelt. I drew my knees to my chest and wrapped my arms around them tight. Turning my head away from Maddox, I stared out the window, silently praying over and over: Please don’t let Jensen hurt my dad. Please let us find the gold. Please let us all get out of this nightmare safe and not harmed.

But even through my prayers, my mind spun with horrible thoughts about Dad. Each and every one of them involved him lying in a pool of blood similar to Maudie. They were so intense a metallic smell invaded my nose. My stomach clenched, and I knew I was going to lose my breakfast. “Pull over,” I commanded.

“What?” Maddox glanced over to see me with my hand cupped over my mouth. “Shit!” He whipped into the emergency lane. The moment the truck skidded to a stop I hopped out. I barely made it before I vomited into the grass. I threw up over and over until my body shuddered with dry heaves.

Still bent over double, I heard Maddox’s feet crunching towards me on the gravel. I couldn’t bring myself to raise my head and look at him. I hated he had to see me this way—a weak, vulnerable princess puking her guts out on the side of the road.

His hand tentatively rubbed my back. “It’s going to be okay, Lane. I promise.”

I jerked my head up to glare at him. “You can’t promise me that. No one can.”

He exhaled noisily. “I’m sorry. I don’t know anything else to say or do.”

I dragged my hand across my mouth. “There’s nothing you can say.” I brushed past him to get into the truck. I don’t know why I was being such a bitch to him. It wasn’t his fault, and he was only trying to help. I just couldn’t process anything more than trying to get to my dad.

Once we got back on the road, I rested my head against the window. It was thirty minutes before Maddox spoke to me again, causing me to jump. “You know what exit we’re supposed to take?”

I nodded and then pulled my cell phone out of my purse. I clicked on the email where I’d saved our route. “Exit Nine. Then take a right,” I croaked. My throat still ached from screaming so hard and throwing up.

I had just popped in a piece of gum from my purse when Maddox murmured, “Lane.”

His expression was pained, but he took his right hand off the steering wheel and crooked his finger at me. The small, insignificant detail broke me. I didn’t stop to think. Instead, I fumbled with the seatbelt that held me prisoner. It finally released me, and I slid across the seat. I snuggled up to him, wrapped my arms around his waist, and buried my head against his chest. “I’m sorry for being such a bitch.”

“You weren’t being a bitch.” Tenderly, he kissed the top of my head. “You’re killing me, you know that right? Seeing you suffering like this and not being able to do anything—it hurts like hell. And then the fact you need me so much emotionally, and I don’t know if I can do it…” He grimaced. “It’s f**king agony.”

“I’m sorry,” I whispered.

“Don’t be. It’s me that should be sorry. I should have said from day one that this whole map thing was stupid, and we should’ve gone to the police. Maybe then the Feds could have gotten to Jensen, and your dad would be okay.”

“But we wanted this—I wanted this. A crazy adventure.” I shook my head. “We never imagined it would end like this.”

A frustrated noise came from the back of Maddox’s throat. “Oh come on! What the hell is wrong with us? We’re acting like we’re dead and buried! Done. Finito.”

I shot him a scathing look. “Are you trying to say after Jensen’s call we can still have a happily ever after?”

“Damn straight! I didn’t go through eighteen months in Army training to just lie down and die when the going got rough. You fight back and give it everything you’ve got until you don’t have anything else. Jensen doesn’t know what he’s coming up against.”

A small glimmer of hope flickered within me at his words, and I almost believed we could beat Jensen. Maddox was being so strong for the both of us that I couldn’t help planting a kiss on the rough stubble of his cheek. “Thank you for being here for me.”

“Anytime, babe. Do you feel a little better now?”

I nodded. “I didn’t peg you as one for pep talks.”

He gave me a sheepish grin. “Yeah, well, I’d hoped to be an officer one day. You kinda need the bravado to lead the troops into danger and all that shit.”

I smiled. “You would have made a great one…Captain Diaz….no, General Diaz.”