Savage Awakening (Alpha Pack #2)(39)

He stared at the doc, his pulse leaping. "What does she have to do with me?"

"Do you feel a pull toward her? Does your wolf?"

Ah, shit.

He affected a smirk. "Are you kidding? The woman's totally hot. And babes in uniform? Damn, there is a God."

"You know what I mean. Do you? What if I were to inform you-and your wolf-that I'd seen her and Zan involved in a deep, passionate kiss, right before they disappeared into the forest?"

"What!" He was on his feet, hands shifting to claws, fur sprouting before he realized it. His voice emerged in a snarl. "Where is that motherf*cker? I'll tear his ass**le out through his throat and feast on his carcass!"

He spun, but before he could dash out the door, a firm hand grabbed his biceps. "I didn't say that's what happened. I asked you what if? And I believe you answered my question."

As he turned to stare at her, it slowly dawned on him that he'd been baited. The wolf inside him hadn't been able to tolerate the idea of another man touching what belonged to him-

"Oh, f**k me." The fur and claws retracted and he walked to his chair, sat down hard. Slumping, he braced his elbows on his knees and hung his head, staring at his bare feet. "Is this what happened to Jax when he met Kira?"

"I can't discuss that because of confidentiality, but I can tell you that your symptoms are consistent with what we understand so far about the changes a male wolf shifter experiences when he finds his mate."

"But she and I just met! Don't get me wrong, I really like her-but I don't want a mate!" Even as he said this, however, a miserable ache formed in his gut. His wolf paced inside, anxious. Unsettled.

"I have a feeling your wolf doesn't care what his human half wants," she said. Her tone was kinder than normal, which said a lot about the seriousness of his situation. "Am I right?"

"Yeah. He's about to shred me from the inside out." Leaning back in his chair, he stared at the ceiling. "I can't f**king believe this. Any of the other guys would make a better mate for Rowan than I would."

His stomach lurched and he fought not to be sick at the thought of her with someone else. And not to tear the furniture apart.

"Why's that?"

His laugh was bitter, but he couldn't help it. "I'm not settling-down material, my friend. My family was so freakin' dysfunctional, we made the cast of Married with Children look like the damned Cleavers. I know absolute shit about how to make another person happy, or what a family is supposed to be like."

"I don't agree. The men you work with, they're your family," she pointed out. "You're close as brothers, and blood doesn't matter when it comes to the people who really have your back."

That threw him, and he pondered it for a long moment. "Okay, that's true," he said slowly, looking at the doc. "But they're guys. I don't have to worry about being bound to one of them for the rest of our lives."

"Actually, we have no proof that one of you couldn't have another man for a mate."

He cleared his throat. "Well, to each his own. I've got nothing against folks finding happiness with their same sex and all, but I happen to know that's definitely not my case."

The barest hint of humor softened her face. "Anyway, the point is that you have a family right here, one that obviously means a lot to you, though you do your best to hide your feelings behind a wall of sarcasm. It's not as if you can't learn to be a good, loving mate to your female."

He wasn't so sure about that, but figured it best not to get into that debate. "What happened to Jax... will it be the same for me?" His friend had gotten really sick before the couple decided to bond. Aric hated being ill, but he just didn't see how mating would ever work out for the likes of him. What woman needed his shit?

"You're already symptomatic, with the sore throat and fever, which seems to accompany the start of the mating urge. The longer you put off biting your female, taking her as your Bondmate, the sicker you'll become. Of course, if you do bite her, then there's a possibility she'll turn into a shifter as well."

"Isn't there a chance I could just wait it out? Get well?"

"Based on what I've seen so far, and what Nick has told me as a born shifter who's lived with his wolf a lot longer than all of you have..." She sighed. "It doesn't seem likely."

Deadly calm settled over him. There was no point in stressing about the future when he'd just learned he didn't have one. "Listen to me and listen good," he said in a low voice. "Rowan is not to know what's going on with me. I won't have her pushed into mating with me like Kira was with Jax. You understand? Rowan is a good woman and she doesn't deserve to be saddled with this life, or me."

"Aric, it's not such a bad existence-"

"No. You tell Rowan, or anyone else, about this and I'll leave. For good."

"Nick will know, eventually. No one will have to inform him."

"He's different. But the same rule applies to him."

"Try telling that to Nick," she said drily. "He's not bound by the same oath of confidentiality as I am."

"I'll deal with that when and if he confronts me."