Sandpiper Way (Cedar Cove #8)(47)

Seventeen

The tension between Dave and Emily had escalated until he found it almost intolerable. Whenever he tried to talk to her, she acted as if he were invisible. As soon as he made an attempt, she simply walked into another room.

Although they were civil in front of the children, Emily avoided him as much as possible. She didn’t speak to him unless it was to answer a question, and then, only if others were present. Moreover, she’d answer it with the minimum number of words. Her blond hair taunted him. Still, Dave was reluctant to tell her the truth, fearing what that would do to their marriage.

Sunday morning’s sermon was the most difficult Dave had preached in all the years of his ministry. Afterward he knew, deep inside himself, that he’d let down his congregation, his family and, most important, his God.

By the time the church emptied, Emily had already taken the two boys home. Dave stayed behind, sitting in the front pew, feeling like a complete failure. He’d lied to his wife, misled his staff and tried to hold everything together on his own. He’d failed every person in his life.

The only thing to do now was admit to his shortcomings. This situation couldn’t go on.

Dave accepted what he had to do, but wasn’t sure how to do it. For a full thirty minutes, he sat there in church, pondering the conversation with Emily. Who would’ve guessed he’d have such a problem telling the truth?

He bowed his head and prayed, asking God to forgive him. When he finished, he left the church to seek forgiveness from his wife.

As he walked into the parking lot, he felt as if someone had poured lead into his shoes. He would’ve welcomed some kind of interruption, anything that allowed him a few minutes’ reprieve while he tried to overcome his qualms, his feelings of inadequacy. He’d never meant for things to go this far. If he could have turned back the clock, made better choices, he would’ve done so. Instead he had to confess his pride and where it had led him. Now he had to confess to his wife that he’d fallen into the trap that very pride had set.

When he arrived at the house on Sandpiper Way, he sat in his car for several minutes. Emily loved this house. She’d wanted it so badly and because he loved her and tried to please her, he’d done everything possible to make it happen. He hadn’t predicted all the grief this house would bring him. Yet he had no one to blame but himself.

The boys, who sat at the kitchen table, looked up when Dave came in.

“Hey, Dad, Mom made macaroni and cheese.”

Dave ruffled his youngest son’s hair. “Yum.”

“What took you so long?” Matthew asked. “Mom said we shouldn’t wait lunch for you.”

“Where’s your mother?” Dave asked, instead of answering his son’s question. He’d do his best to make it up to his sons, compensate for all the time he’d cheated them out of. He hoped to make it up to Emily, too.

“In your room, I guess,” Mark responded. His face was concerned. “Mom’s not feeling good. She made lunch and then went to bed.”

“Yeah,” Matthew said. “She was crying, too.”

The boy seemed to look straight through Dave, as if silently blaming him for his mother’s tears. Dave’s stomach tensed.

“I’ll go check on your mother. Listen, you two, save some of that macaroni and cheese for me.” He added this on a cheerful note, although it sounded forced even to his own ears.

Dave made his way down the hall to the master bedroom. He hesitated before opening the door and stepping inside. The drapes were closed. It took him a few seconds to adjust to the darkness. Once he did, he saw that Emily was in bed, either asleep or pretending to be.

Undecided, he hesitated once more, weighing his options. He was tempted to delay this, and yet he knew his confession wouldn’t be any easier if he put it off.

Slowly he approached the bed. When he sat down, the mattress dipped slightly with his weight. Emily lay on her side, facing him. Even after four days, he wasn’t used to seeing her as a blonde. The new color and style had received plenty of attention at church that morning. Of course, that was what she wanted. Attention. Love. Recognition. All of which Dave had failed to give her.

Her eyes remained closed. If she was awake, she certainly succeeded at pretending otherwise. But then, she’d become an expert at ignoring him.

“I think it’s time for us to resolve this, once and for all,” he said. His voice was tight and controlled.

In response Emily rolled over, now facing the opposite wall. Apparently she wasn’t interested in clearing the air. He understood her anger; nevertheless, he forged ahead.

“You think I’m having an affair, don’t you?” He realized almost immediately that he shouldn’t come at her with questions. What his wife needed was reassurance. “Don’t answer that,” he said quickly. “It’s not important.”

“Not important?” Emily startled him when she bolted upright and glared at him.

Once again Dave saw his mistake. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Oh, but I think you do.” She folded her arms across her chest, her body language unambiguous.

“Emily, on my life, I swear I’ve always been faithful to you and I always will be.” She deserved that assurance, that pledge. Everything else could wait. It was crucial that she know he’d never betray her or the vows they shared.