Ruthless Game (GhostWalkers, #9)(38)
“No way. We’ll get it out of there.”
“If we can’t, you’ll have to take the baby and go, Kane.”
Once again his eyes met hers. She was serious. He could read the absolute resolve in her expression. If it took separation from her to keep the baby out of Whitney’s hands, she was prepared to sacrifice that as well.
He shook his head. “We’ll stay together and see this through. My understanding of the way Whitney pairs his women with a man is, they have to be able to complement each other in a combat situation. Your skills and mine should fit together and make us nearly invincible.”
“But he didn’t choose you for me.” Rose avoided his eyes, a blush stealing up her neck to her cheeks. “I chose you.”
“Did you think your choice would have really mattered to him, Rose?” he said gently. “He asked for me to be assigned temporarily to him. I went to the compound believing there was an outside threat to the facility. He dangled me in front of you like a carrot because we fit together. You took the bait. If my gifts weren’t compatible with your gifts, he would never have allowed us to be paired. In the end with him, it’s all about being a soldier. A pair should be able to be dropped into enemy territory alone, get the mission done, and get out. Our child should make the perfect soldier. If he didn’t think that would happen, he would never have paired me with you.” He looked at her for a long time. “You have a choice though, sweetheart. You don’t have to stay with me.”
She swallowed hard. “And you have no choice. That’s my fault.”
He shook his head. “You don’t get me at all, honey. I don’t ever do anything I don’t want to do. It was my choice. Once the program was explained to me and Whitney told me you had asked for me, I could have turned the program down.” How could he explain he’d seen her dozens of times and couldn’t stand the thought of any man forcing her to have sex? “I thought about it a long time before I agreed.
He explained I would always want you physically. I didn’t go into the program blind.”
She frowned at him. “You knew what it would mean for you? The rest of your life you would always want me? And you still did it?”
“Yes. So stop feeling guilty. I had a choice; you didn’t. But you do now, Rose.” It had to be said, no matter how painful he found it to remind her.
She rubbed her fingers back and forth nervously along the hem of the blanket. “Actually, no, I don’t. Not anymore. I asked Whitney to pair me with you after you left me that night.”
Anger flashed through him. “You did what?” He glanced at the baby and lowered his voice. “Damn it, Rose, you didn’t.”
She lifted her chin at him. “I wasn’t going to condemn you to hell and not go with you.”
He studied her defiant expression; all the while he was melting inside. Rose had chosen him to father her child, but she refused to leave him out in the cold. She had insisted she share his fate. She had courage, raw courage, to condemn herself to share a life with a man she barely knew. “You’re insane, sweetheart, but I can’t help admiring you for it.”
He turned away from her briefly, hiding his expression before abruptly turning back, taking her face between his hands and thoroughly kissing her. Just as abruptly he let her go and stood straight. “I’ve got some things to do. You sleep while you can.”
He closed the door to the bedroom behind him, feeling as though for the first time in his life, he was complete.
CHAPTER 7
Rose thought she’d condemned him to hell and then deliberately put herself right there with him. Kane contemplated the thought and what it might mean as they developed a routine over the next week together. If he was living in hell, well, maybe that was just the place for him. He liked holding his son and watching Rose feed the boy. He enjoyed their quiet conversations about nothing in particular. He liked brushing her hair for her, and tucking the blankets around her. He didn’t even mind cooking, although they didn’t have much in the way of real food.
He knew they were living on borrowed time, but every passing day gave the baby a chance to grow stronger, to age one more day. Kane believed the time gave him more of a chance to continue to gain Rose’s trust. He knew he would need it in the days to come. They had a reprieve, but it was a very short one.
Rose always curled up in chairs, feet tucked under her, reminding him of a little cat. With their son cradled in her arms and her silky cap of hair disheveled, as though they’d just made love, Kane couldn’t help asking her. “I’ve been thinking a lot about what you said to me the night you delivered the baby, sweetheart.”
She glanced up at him, her gaze a little wary, her lips pursed in a little moue that sent his body into overdrive. He couldn’t help it, he wanted to kiss her thoroughly until that guarded look disappeared for all time.
“What did I say?”
“Just that you had condemned me to hell and then you decided to go with me.”
A blush stole up her neck and flushed her cheeks a soft pink. She shrugged, looking artfully casual. He wasn’t buying her act, even as pretty as it was.
“You really had Whitney pair you with me?”
“It’s no big deal.” She shrugged and nuzzled the baby.
“You decided to make certain you’d never be physically happy with another man? Why in the world would you do that?”