Rule (Marked Men #1)(76)

She shook her head and tried to hand it back but I refused to take it. “I would like to consider us friends now and I don’t take advantage of friends so please just take it.”

She frowned at me and moved around to pick up all her equipment. “If you wanted a tattoo and Rule or Nash offered to do it for free would you let them?”

“Rule yes, Nash no.”

She sighed in defeat then. “Well fine then. Let me know what lover boy thinks, not that I think he’ll be able to hide his shit eating grin. I swear his mood entirely revolves around how the two of you are going at it.”

I pulled my long hair out of the collar of my coat and tried not to wince as the movement caused my new addition to move uncomfortably against my bra. “So how’s he been lately?” I was curious but I also really wanted to know.

“Fine, more mellow and maybe more quiet than usual, but good.”

“Well that’s good I guess.”

“You don’t sound so sure about that.”

I shrugged not sure how to explain it. “Rule has never really been a mellow guy.”

“No he hasn’t but maybe you just have given him a reason to be. Maybe he’s happy and has everything he wants so there isn’t a reason to be all angsty and agro all the time anymore.”

I would have been thrilled if I thought she was right but I knew Rule and none of it sat right with how he was. “Maybe.”

She gave me another hug, carful of my chest and ushered us out of the shop. “Don’t get your panties all wadded up over it there is nothing wrong with mellow.”

“Thanks Cora.”

“Anytime now scram so I clean this up before regular business shows up and the guys have to get here and set up.”

Ayden gave me a searching look as we exited into the cold. “How did you get the guard dogs to let you off the leash this morning? Rules has a fit whenever you try and gallivant around without someone on your heels.”

“I told him I had a hair appointment and that you were going with me and wouldn’t let me out of your sight. No guy wants to go spend an hour in a salon, especially a guy like Rule.” She lifted her brows at me when we got to the rental I was currently driving.

“So are we actually going to go get our hair done?”

Since I wasn’t a liar and hated being dishonest with him I had indeed made both of us an appointment to get the works done. “We are, only it’s my treat this time because we have to make a stop first and it’s kinda out of the way.”

“Where at?”

I pulled out onto Colfax and headed to the highway in the direction of Brookside.

“Where are we going?” I knew Ayden was curious but when I woke up this morning and Rule had been so cloyingly polite and kind there were two things that I knew I had to accomplish that day. The first was done and the second, well I wasn’t sure but I felt like the second might end up being even more painful.

“I just need to swing by and see an old friend really quick.”

“In Brookside?”

“Just outside, let me just get through it first and then I’ll explain.” I drove silently through the mountains until we got to the small cemetery on the outskirts of Evergreen listening to The Dawes play melancholy songs that fit my mood the entire way. It looked more like a ranch than a cemetery and I had always thought it was so ironic that Remy was buried so far out of the city on such a quiet piece of land when he had been so buoyant and so full of energy and life. I parked in the visitor’s lot and pulled on a pair of gloves and a hat because I wasn’t sure how long I was going to need and it was even colder up here at a higher elevation than it was in the city.

“I’ll leave the keys so you can run the heater and mess with the radio. I’m not sure how long I’m going to be.”

Ayden’s amber gaze was liquid with sadness and understanding. She gave me a quick one armed hug and shooed me off. “I’ll be fine you take as long as you need. You can spring for a hot stone massage if it takes you too long.”

“Deal.” That’s why I loved this girl.

My boots crunched on the snow as I made my way to the back of the lot where the grave stone sat so cold and sterile, just one more shade of gray on the barren winter landscape. There was a bright spray of red roses lying on top of the stark white plot and it made me smile. Remy loved red, loved things that were vibrant and eye catching, anything that suited his personality. Not caring that the ground was frozen and covered in snow I knelt down and traced his name with a gloved finger. Tears immediately filled my eyes. I moved my hand along to glide over the huge horseshoe both the surviving Archer boys had insisted go on their siblings headstone. Turned upward it was said to keep all the good luck in, Rome liked the symbolism, Rule liked that it was a visual representation that tied the two of them together for eternity.

“Hey handsome. I’m sorry it’s been so long since my last visit but things have been…intense.” I laughed humorously. “I have a feeling if you were here you would be laughing your ass off at everyone and shaking your head at all of us. I miss you so much and every single day I think it would make things so much better if I could just call you, that you would make everything make sense and keep it all together. Doing this is a million times harder without you.” I was crying in earnest now and couldn’t really see the headstone clearly any more. I flattened my palm over his name and concentrated on taking deep breaths in and out. “I’m sleeping with your brother and if you thought I was a silly lovesick fool before you should see me now. I’m freaking out because he’s being too nice. I know, only I would worry about my boyfriend being too nice but we both know Rule and something is up he won’t talk to me about. By the way how weird is it that I’m calling Rule my boyfriend? My heart turns over every time I do it and sometimes I feel like my entire world is in his eyes and yet he still closes me out, still shuts down and makes it so very hard to just love him. If you were here I would make you pull it out of him and he would tell you because he always did.” I sighed and let my head fall forward. “I wish you had told them, Rule and Rome. I wish you had trusted them enough to let them in like you did for me. You’re mother has gone off her rocker because Rule still refuses to be your carbon copy and as a result your family is in tatters. Maybe if everyone knew, if you had tried to let them know everyone deserves to be loved no matter how they choose to live their lives it wouldn’t be like this. Your dad is coming around but still trying to keep Margot out of the loony bin and Rome, poor Rome is just a giant Ping-Pong ball trying to protect everybody and make everything okay but he has no help, he needs you to be the mediator like you always were.”