Rule (Marked Men #1)(45)

- I really am sorry, I never meant to hurt you. I should’ve stayed. I really miss you.

I put it away before I made myself crazy seeing if he was going to write anything back and made my way to my parent’s house. The house was more like some kind of elegant mountain chalet than an actual home. Everything past the gates was elegant and expensive and as I parked and made my way to the front door I remembered how small I felt next to the grandeur. When Remy had come into my life and taken me under his wing, I had taken the opportunity to spend every second I could at the Archer’s, for all their faults they made a home where it was clear people were loved and cared for, both my mother and my father’s homes had none of that. They were filled with servants and show pieces and as I was led into the living room I was struck again by how very much I didn’t want to be here and how if I couldn’t fix things with Rule after this weekend there was a good chance I was going to have to be committed because I just might lose my mind.

My mother in all her refined glory came at me with a critical eye. There was no hug, no how was your drive, no sorry I missed your birthday sweetie just a quick sweep of her ice cold gaze from the top of my head to the toes of my laced up leather boots. Her already tight mouth pulled into a frown. “What have you done to your hair Shaw? It looks dreadful and I hope you brought more appropriate clothes for the country club, we’re going to dinner not a potluck.”

I was wearing leggings and a long oxford with a wide leather belt that matched my boots. It was way too fancy for a simple car ride home but I had been trying to avoid this exact scene. Once again I had failed to meet her exacting standards. My hands curled tighter around the bag I had refused to give to the maid that opened the door. My heart was in my throat, well actually it was back in Denver currently ignoring me but that wasn’t here nor there.

“I assume you and Gabe had time to talk on the way up here?”

“Not really. I’ve told you I don’t have anything left to say to him.”

If it was possible her mouth pulled into an even tighter frown, she looked like she was sucking on a lemon. My mother was a beautiful woman, I got my fair hair and light coloring from her, but as I looked at her objectively for possibly the first time in my life I realized that all that beauty was harsh and encased in so much ice and bitterness that it was hard to see.

“I asked you to stop being ridiculous young lady. You will be polite and charming this weekend. I will not tolerate any hostility or rudeness directed at Gabe or any of the Davenports, do you understand me?”

From somewhere deep inside of me the Shaw that I was when I was with Rule, the Shaw that should have refused to come on this farce of a weekend raised her head. I flicked the ends of my two-toned hair over my shoulder and brushed past my mother to head to the stairs where my room was located. “You ordered me to be here mother, so now you have to deal with that whether you like the outcome or not.” She called something after me in a shrill voice but I tuned her out calling over my shoulder, “Let me know when you’re ready to leave for dinner.”

I shut the door to the room that had never really felt like mine and let my bag drop on the floor. My mother’s interior designer had done the room in a pallet of grays and soft pinks. It was all very lovely, feminine and girly to the max with a million frilly pillows on the bed and even an honest to god lacy canopy draped over the white four poster bed. It was the room a person that wanted to sleep in luxury and be surrounded by million thread count sheets would enjoy, for me it had always felt lifeless and dull. There were no personal pictures, no splashes of color, no TV or radio simply nothing to describe a thing about the person that was supposed to live there. I settled cross legged on the center of the big bed and sent Ayden a text. She had been acting a little weird since the night she had Jet take her home from the bar, but she didn’t want to talk about it and since I was having my own boy drama I didn’t want to fight to drag it out of her.

- Wasn’t even in the door two steps before she mentioned my hair and my outfit. So good to be home L

- That sucks honey.

- Yeah and Rule still won’t text me back.

- Ummm….

- What?

- I don’t know if I should tell you.

- Tell me what?

- You have to promise not to freak out.

- Well now I’m bound to freak out!

- Loren was talking about being out last night; she said she saw Rule and the boys at whatever club she was at.

- Oh my God….

- Yeah well she mentioned she was going to try and talk to him or whatever because she’s a clueless slut, but he had some redhead hanging all over him, she said she couldn’t even get close to him.

- Fuck.

- Yeah well she also said he left with her, the redhead, I mean she said the whole gang of them left together and she is a heinous gossip and likes to cause trouble but I figure you should have a heads up since you can’t get ahold of him.

- Thanks.

- You okay?

- No, not at all.

- Want me to hurt him for you?

- Maybe, I’ll call you later after I get through this stupid dinner. Love ya girl.

- You too xoxo

I swiped a finger across the screen and took a second to hold my breath before letting it out in a furious screech and chucking the expensive device against the wall. I buried my head in my hands and tried to keep from throwing up. I couldn’t believe this was happening. I had had everything I ever wanted for just a few seconds and all it took was one single bump, one tiny disagreement to screw it all up. It shouldn’t hurt that I was so easily and quickly replaced I knew Rule, knew how he operated but I still felt like someone was poking holes in the very fiber of my soul with a scalding hot poker. Being in love with Rule had never been an easy thing to do, and now that I knew what it was like to actually love him I wasn’t sure how to go back to before.