Rock Chick Renegade (Rock Chick #4)(96)

That was super-huge.

More nothing from Vance.

Not… one… thing.

That’s when I nodded.

There you had it.

The fear changed from being scared of not getting Vance back to what my life would mean knowing I couldn’t have him back.

Time to move on.

I’d deal with it later. A lot later. When I was making quesadillas like a pro while wearing a sweater I knitted for myself in Nicaragua.

“Okay,” I said, my voice sounded higher and I let go of his hand, “I’m gonna get ready for work.”

I moved toward the end of the bed but his arm came around my belly and he threw me back against the pillows and settled his body on top of mine. My breath went out of me at his movements and I stared at him with wide eyes.

“Was it that hard?” he asked, looking down at me, face still showing me nothing.

I could no longer speak so I shook my head, nonverbally lying. It had been harder than hell.

“I don’t need a key,” he said.

I blinked, not sure how to take that. “You don’t?” I asked, finding my voice.

He shook his head. “Though it’d be easier than breakin’ in all the time,” he told me.

I felt relief start invading, washing away the fear.

“Probably,” I whispered, still a little scared because he was still being blank not intense or a different kind of intense but not giving me anything to go on.

“Do you understand about Luke?” he asked.

I nodded.

He got closer, his face got closer, his body pressing me deeper into the bed. “Then we’ll make sure you understand it all.”

Uh-oh.

I didn’t like the sound of that. I didn’t share this and just watched him and waited.

“You’re mine, Jules. That means no one puts their hands on you and no one puts their mouth on you. I almost came out of my skin watchin’ that last night. You’re with me and that means we’re exclusive. I do not share. Which means no one touches you. Not again. You got me?”

I nodded. I couldn’t imagine what I’d do if I saw him that way with another woman but I was a head crackin’ mamma jamma, I probably would have lost my mind. A macho man, badass was even worse.

I decided not to say anything. It was bad enough and saying something would likely just dig my hole deeper. I knew I was already skating on thin ice; I sure as hell wasn’t going to go under, not again.

It was cold down there, freezing.

“You got your head straight?” he asked, breaking into my icy reverie.

I nodded again though I was a little confused at his question.

He kept talking. “We’re not playin’ this f**kin’ game. You try and push me away, I’m takin’ you to the cabin and chainin’ you to the bed until you got your head sorted once and for all. What we have genuinely doesn’t seem like it’s gonna work, we’ll talk it through and come to an understanding. But when it’s good and you get freaked, you aren’t makin’ the decision for both of us because you’re scared out of your mind and don’t have the guts to talk about it.”

Wow.

I knew Vance was a straight-talker but, um… yikes.

I thought it was time to cut in. “Vance –”

“I’m talkin’ now.”

At his tone I shut up. Definitely not the time to cut in.

“You lie in bed in the moonlight when you think it doesn’t count and you let me in. I’m tellin’ you now, it counts, Jules.”

I kept silent.

Vance kept talking. “I don’t want you sweet after I’ve made you come and you don’t have your guard up. I want you sweet all the time. You don’t start trusting me in the daylight this isn’t gonna work.”

I stayed silent.

“You go out into the night makin’ trouble, fearless. With everything else that means something in your life, you’re shit scared. You’re gonna have to find a way to get the f**k over it.”

I pulled my lips in and bit them to stay quiet. He was right and that was so annoying.

“You’re mine,” he repeated like I didn’t get it the first time.

I let my lips go and said, “Okay.”

He stared at me.

“Can I say something now?” I asked when he seemed to be finished.

“Just don’t piss me off,” he warned.

Like I’d do that especially at this juncture.

I waited a beat then took in a breath and then did something that made my Rottweiler go berserk. I ignored my Rottie, it took all I had but I did it.

“I know it counts,” I whispered.

Vance didn’t move, didn’t speak, didn’t do anything.

Then drool flying everywhere in white globs, jumping up and down, tearing free from his chains, my Rottweiler came at me and I ran like a mad woman, taking my life in my hands. I passed him, threw open the door to the chain-link-fenced box and ran inside. I slammed the door closed behind me and locked it, keeping my Rottweiler at bay.

Then I ran my hands up Vance’s back, stopping when I felt his scar and to make my point, I left my fingers there.

“You’re right, you scare the hell out of me,” I said it so low I wasn’t sure if he heard it.

I didn’t have to wonder long. He heard it and he understood it.