Rock Chick Reckoning (Rock Chick #6)(130)

“I did shit I’m not proud of and lived in a world you wouldn’t be able to imagine and I don’t give a f**k. I did what I had to do for Caitlin and I got no problem with that. I can live with it.” He paused, his arms crossed on his chest then he asked, “The question is, can you?” Oh hel .

I didn’t know what to say. I needed some processing time and not the kind that involved sex.

When I hesitated, Mace kept at me and he was relentless.

“You told my father he had enough black marks on his soul to send him straight to hel . You gotta know, the heart you want into has its own strikes against it. No way to wash off the shit I did, it’s marked deep. That the kind of man you want sleepin’ in your bed?”

“Wel , you haven’t given me much choice up to now,” I replied.

“Now you got that choice.”

“You’ve never asked me these kinds of questions before,” I told him.

“I never expected you to learn this shit before.” I blinked. “You were going to keep it from me?”

“Until the day I f**kin’ died.”

I couldn’t believe that, didn’t even want to and my mouth dropped open before I snapped it shut and asked, “Why?”

“Because I never wanted you to look at me the way you’re lookin’ at me right now.”

Shitsof*ckit.

I didn’t know how I was looking at him and tried to rearrange my face and shift us into safer waters. “How did you get involved with Lee?”

“Luke knew me, we worked together. He found out I was out, he told Lee to recruit me and now I’m here.”

“Luke? He –?”

“Yeah.”

“Does Ava know?” I asked.

“As much as she can know,” he answered. “Which I figure is about as much as you know.”

We stared at each other a few beats then I dropped my head and shifted the sheet tighter around me, thoughts tumbling around in my brain.

I wasn’t real y sure but al my thoughts seemed to be about the same thing.

Mainly that I knew, without a doubt, that my luck had changed.

After having a life of no love for so long, finding a guy who could love so deep that he’d sacrifice everything to avenge someone he cared about felt effing great.

That might make me a freak but I didn’t care.

I wasn’t going to say it out loud (not again) but, for as long as she had him, Caitlin Mason was one lucky girl.

And now, so was I.

“I’l take that as your answer.” I heard Mace say and my head snapped up to see he was moving to his boots.

“What’re you doing?” I asked.

He didn’t look at me when he answered, “Leavin’.”

“Why?” His head shot up and I kept talking. “Okay, so, I can’t pretend this doesn’t freak me out, because, erm… it’s freaky and intense but wel … that was then and this is now.

At least I know why you’re so effing moody al the time and why you have such a short fuse. I mean, the whole throwing the phone against the wal gig was freaky too but now I get it and –”

I stopped talking because he switched directions and was walking toward me.

“What’re you doing now?” I asked.

He didn’t answer and right before he made it to me, he dipped his shoulder like the footbal players do when they’re going to make a tackle. It went into my bel y and then I was going up.

“Mace!” I shouted. “What are you doing?”

He stalked (yes, stalked!) toward the bed, did a bump with his shoulder and then I was flying through the air. I landed on my back on the bed with a soft bounce and then Mace was on me.

I pushed against him. “Mace, we aren’t done talking.” His face was in my throat and his hands were tugging at the sheet. “We f**kin’ wel are,” he growled.

“There’s more to say.”

His head came up and he looked at me just as I heard the sheet tear.

“You stil love me?” he asked.

My eyes narrowed. “What kind of question is that?” I snapped.

“Answer it.”

“I wil not, it’s –”

“Answer it! ” he barked and I went stil at the ferocity in his voice.

Then I whispered, “Of course I do.”

“Then we’re done talkin’. I’m gonna f**k you until I’ve erased everything I’ve said. Until the only thing you can think of is my c**k inside you and my hands and mouth on you.

Until I hear that f**kin’ voice of yours tel ing me you love me.

I’m gonna f**k you until I know it’s me you want, despite al this shit, and I don’t care if it takes a f**kin’ week.”

“That’l take, like, two seconds,” I told him and watched as something crossed his face, something that looked a lot like surprise. Then I announced, “Wel ! There it is! Done!

And you didn’t even have to f**k me.”

He stared at me.

“But you can stil f**k me if you want to,” I went on.

He kept staring at me.

“Like now. Fucking me now would be good,” I prompted.

He kept staring at me.

“Hel o? Kai Mason? Are you in the room?” I cal ed and when he kept staring at me, I kept talking. “Cal ing Kai Mason, girlfriend needs a good f**king, right… about…