Rock Bottom (Tristan & Danika #2)(59)

“Is that his real name?” I asked her.

She shook her head. “It’s his stage name, but he’s not listed on our birth certificates, and Mom tells me that he never told her his real name.”

I didn’t know what to think, what to feel. Should I be proud that my biological father was famous? I wasn’t. I had no kinship with the man, but finally I had a face, and a basic backstory. Now I wanted to pretend I’d never heard of the man. There was nothing else for me to do.

“I’ll give you his number, if you want it, but I doubt you’ll get any closure on meeting him. Unfortunately, I’m going to have to ask him for more money soon, which I’m not looking forward to. It’s just…I don’t know what else to do.”

“Why?” I asked, troubled by her tone. She sounded so forlorn.

Her face crumpled, and she buried it in her hands. Her shoulders shook with silent sobs.

I wanted to go to her, to walk around the table and embrace her, but I didn’t know that I should. I still didn’t think she’d want me to touch her.

She stopped quickly, straightening. Her face was wet, but her expression was composed again. She took a very deep breath before she spoke. “I’m pregnant, and I don’t know what to do.” She buried her face in her hands again.

I sat frozen, not knowing what to do, or what to say. I didn’t know anything about her. She seemed too young to have a baby, but she could have been married, for all I knew.

Finally, when she composed herself again, I asked carefully, “Who is the father?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.” She paused, looking devastated. “I don’t know.”

I didn’t point out that those were two drastically different things.

“Well, if there is anything I can do to help, anything at all, please tell me. I’d love to become a part of your life again. And your baby’s, too. My heart is always open to you,” I had to blink back unexpected tears, “it always has been. I’ve missed you every single day since you left. I’m here for you, however you need me.”

Her face crumpled again, and she looked away.

She reached across the table, not meeting my eyes as she put her hand over mine. “I’m sorry. What happened to us, it was horrible, and I know I made it worse for you. I wish I could take it back. I’m ashamed at how I treated you. I was shocked by what I saw, and I just reacted. I was so broken, so torn apart by all of the things that happened in that f**king trailer, that I ran and just kept running. That’s my only excuse for the way things went down, but I am sorry for it all.”

I was trembling hard, as though a great weight had been lifted from my shoulders, and my body had to move in some way just to feel its new freedom.

“Thank you,” I whispered. Some things you needed so fundamentally, so desperately, that you couldn’t acknowledge the need until it was met. I acknowledged it now.

I needed my sister. And I needed to know that she didn’t hate me.

“That man was a monster, and I’m sorry I left you alone to his mercy. Forgive me?”

I shook my head, still blinking back tears. “There’s nothing to forgive. I’m so happy you got away. The sooner the better. And I didn’t stay there for much longer after you’d gone.”

“Good. I had so many nightmares about that, about leaving you, and you never making it out of there. But even with the nightmares, I was too terrified to go back. This is the first time I’ve been to Vegas since I left.”

“The old man is dead. A heart attack.” I thought it important to tell her. The news had brought me so much relief.

She took a deep breath, nodding. “That is good. Thank you for telling me. Let’s never talk about him again.”

“Whatever you want. Whatever you need. I’m just happy to have found you again.”

She smiled at me, but it was sad. “Yes. It’s so good to see your face again. I wish it had happened sooner. What are your plans today? We should go shopping, if you’re free.”

I was free. I’d made sure I had the afternoon off for just this purpose, hoping things would work out for the best. They had exceeded my expectations though. I had never dreamed of acceptance from her, or forgiveness.

We shopped for hours at the Fashion Show Mall. Neither of us bought anything. We mostly window-shopped, and chatted about our lives. It was something we used to do as teenagers. We’d hang around the mall every spare second that we could, just to avoid going home.

We talked about our years apart, caught up on as much as we could of what we’d both been doing. I didn’t tell her about my own pregnancy, but I had every intention of telling her soon.

It was nearing dinnertime when I finally had to go. “Tristan should be in town by now. He’s home for the weekend, and he’s supposed to be cooking me dinner at his apartment.”

Her face lit up, and so of course, I invited her to join us.

“I have no idea what he’s making, but I can guarantee it will be divine,” I told her as we walked through the parking garage to our cars.

“Oh, yes, I know,” she assured me. “I’ve had his cooking before.”

That made me feel…disgruntled. What had I been missing lately? How was Tristan cooking for my sister, and I somehow hadn’t known a thing about it?