Ride Steady (Chaos #3)(74)

Joker shook his head. “Nope.”

“Fuck,” High muttered.

Heidi’s departure meant the Club was uneasy. The woman didn’t give them much, but at least they had a clue where Valenzuela’s attention was leaning. Now they didn’t have that.

“Hop’s lookin’ into turnin’ one,” Joker shared.

“Yeah. He spoke to one, she refused,” High briefed him. “He’s gotta be careful. The more he approaches, the more it opens it up to one of them givin’ that to Valenzuela.”

Joker had no reply because what High said was true.

“Pisses me off we hand cash to these bitches, they give us a shade above dick and the cloud remains,” High muttered. “We need to get proactive with this shit.”

High had not been totally on board with Tack’s change in direction with the Club. But then they’d all learned the hard way with the extreme shit that went down with Cherry years ago that they needed to focus on taking each other’s backs, not fighting within the ranks.

That didn’t mean High was the kind of man who preferred sitting around with his thumb up his ass.

“It’ll eventually play out one way or another, brother,” Joker told him.

“Yeah, and it’d be good that happens now rather than when I’m in the position of havin’ to stick a Valenzuela soldier with my knife, doin’ it from my wheelchair in a nursing home.”

Joker grinned at him.

High’s head jerked as he caught it.

Then he crossed his arms on his chest and asked, “Things good with your Butterfly?”

Joker leaned against the jamb and held his gaze. “Mostly.”

“Not lettin’ you in her pants?” High asked.

Joker nearly laughed.

Never in his life did he think he would be in the position of putting the brakes on a hot little piece, especially that piece being Carissa.

But he was.

He didn’t share that with High.

He just said, “That’s not it.”

“What is it?”

“We went to high school together. We knew each other. Now, she doesn’t remember me,” Joker told him.

“Got that part of the story from Rush,” High replied.

“I haven’t enlightened her.”

High nodded even as he noted, “Also got from Rush she digs you.”

“She does, but, brother, I’m into her in a way that will hold for a good long while. She’s gotta know me. A woman played this scenario the way I’ve played it with Carrie, she’d see my back.”

High’s focus on him deepened. “I take your point.”

“I gotta come clean. I just don’t know how.”

“You mean you don’t know how without pissin’ her off so she takes off.”

Joker nodded. “That’s what I mean.”

“This is what I know, Joke,” High said, and his sudden change in tone made Joker brace. “You gotta be the man you are. You can’t be anything else. And she’s gotta get the man you are and want him, nothing else. To give her any shot at doin’ that, you can’t hold back who you are. Any of it. Then it’s down to her. She wants the man you are, f*ck-ups and all, she sticks. She doesn’t, you don’t want her.”

Joker matched his tone when he confided, “I’ve wanted her since high school.”

“Why, ’cause she’s got a great ass?” High fired back.

Joker felt his jaw clench and through his teeth he replied, “Not even close.”

“Then come clean,” High returned. “You read somethin’ in this woman that she’s the one for you. You saw it in her all the way back then. She might make it tough on you, but if she’s that girl and you’re it for her like she is for you, this will be a bump in the road, but then you’ll ride steady.”

“Yeah, me and her and her ex who’s suddenly interested in reconnecting,” Joker muttered.

“Now that shit’s yours,” High declared, lifting a hand and stabbing a finger Joker’s way. “Word is he’s done her wrong in a way he’s not a man. You take care of your babies even if your ex is a bitch and you gotta do it through her. You eat that shit for your kids. His ex ain’t a bitch and he’s eatin’ model * and hangin’ his baby momma out to dry. Her ex is not a man, you’ll have no problem takin’ him down however that needs to be done.”

“Carissa isn’t the type of girl who would dig the way a biker would make his point by pissin’ around his patch,” Joker pointed out.

“That’s not what I mean,” High replied. “What I mean is, not a lotta woman want a limp dick in their bed, no matter the way that limp dick comes, he’s rollin’ in it or whatever. You are not that man. She sees that, she’ll put up with him because her kid shares his blood, but that’s all he’ll be to her. You man up for her and her kid, you’ll be the rest.”

He hoped like f*ck that High was right. About all of it.

His phone in his back pocket rang and when it did, High asked, “You good?”

There it was. That was it.

His brotherhood.

That was why he joined. That was what he wanted.

It was just that, until recently, he hadn’t availed himself of all they could give.