Ride Steady (Chaos #3)(64)

So totally gorgeous.

I turned my grin to him. “Nice to meet you too.”

“We’ll leave you to it,” Lee said. “Later.”

Lee gave chin lifts, Indy waved, Callum gave a distracted hand flick (totally a mini-me), and Suki just gave a small wave goodbye.

When I was sure they were gone, I turned to Joker and hissed enthusiastically, “I can’t believe you know Lee Nightingale.”

“He’s tight with the Club.”

How cool!

“Is he as awesome as he seems to be?” I asked.

“If by awesome you mean he’s a supreme badass and so good at his job it’s kinda scary, then yeah.”

I sort of meant that.

I smiled and shared, “Bad-A is a nickel, sweetie.”

When I was done talking, I pulled in a sharp breath.

I did this because his eyes went semi-molten in a way that the banked heat in them warmed my skin.

Joker didn’t address what was behind his molten look.

He murmured quietly, “He’s mostly asleep, Butterfly. He isn’t hearin’ anything.”

“Still.”

“And a badass is a badass. There’s no other word for it.”

I had to give him that.

“Whatever,” I muttered, grabbing one final chip, dipping it into LD’s famous salsa, and eating it. I sucked back my Sprite then Joker and I did the whole packing up, carting out, loading up the vehicle drill.

But doing it, something that was just a part of life became something new that I liked, sharing the chore with Joker.

He took us home and again commandeered baby and diaper bag, leaving me only with my purse to haul up the steps, another break for which I was extremely grateful.

But I was again nervous.

Travis was out. Since the breast milk/formula change he’d turned into a good sleeper. And when he was done for the evening, in most cases, he stayed that way.

That meant he’d get a sleepy diaper change then into his PJs and finally into his crib.

After that, I’d be alone with Joker in my house with my huge couch.

Yes, I was nervous but in a way I liked the feeling.

My stomach had butterflies. My lips had a smile playing at them. My night had been great.

I hoped it was about to get better.

I just knew (like the night before) I’d have the novel feeling of going to bed looking forward to the next day.

And I was thinking all this when Joker took the last step and rounded the stairwell with me on his heels.

Suddenly I crashed right into his back because he’d stopped.

“Is everything—?”

“Company,” he growled.

His dire tone made me look around him and that was when my heart stopped beating.

Aaron, still in one of his fabulous work suits, was standing at the railing outside my door. He was bent to it, hands curled around it, but his head was turned and his eyes were to us.

I stood unmoving.

Surprisingly, this wasn’t because I thought a visit from Aaron at my apartment that he hadn’t been to for months and months was a bad omen (I did, and Tory, if you can believe, did the Travis swap with me when they returned him, and Aaron never came to my door when I brought him to them).

No, I did it because I couldn’t believe what I was seeing.

No again.

I couldn’t believe how what I was seeing had changed.

Aaron was handsome. He’d been a handsome young man who’d turned into an exceptionally handsome adult. He had dark hair that was thick and shiny and healthy. He had unusual colored blue eyes that were sharp and interesting. He had a strong jaw, a high forehead, and beautiful lips. And he was tall, slim, and lean, with nice broad shoulders.

He wore a suit amazingly.

I’d never tired of looking at him. Even when I wondered at some of the mean things he did or said in high school. Even when I was turning a blind eye to the things he did to me. It didn’t matter what turmoil my thoughts were in that I was pretending didn’t exist, I’d take one look at him and again fall in love.

But right then, he wasn’t close but I saw him standing there, confident, his bearing holding authority, and he did nothing for me.

He seemed bland. Bland and ordinary. An attractive stranger in a really nice suit. You might look at him twice, but once he was out of sight, he’d be out of mind.

Or at least my mind.

It was gone.

Like magic.

But something else was there.

And after all these years and all that had happened, that was magical too.

What it was was fury.

He hadn’t seen me in months and he thought he could show at my home on a Wednesday evening out of the blue?

Not likely.

And he needed to know that.

Immediately.

I stormed around Joker in order to bear down on Aaron and share my thoughts.

I didn’t get far because Joker caught my hand.

“Steady, Butterfly,” he muttered.

I drew in breath and looked up at him. He lifted his brows.

I watched the brow lift realizing he was right. I didn’t need to go off half-cocked on the walkway.

I could do it in my living room.

I nodded and whispered, “Steady.”

Steady.

That was what I needed. In a life that had felt out of control from the moment my parents’ friends crushed my baby sister in our driveway until a few days ago, through my own fault but sometimes not, I had not had steady.