Reborn (Shadow Falls: After Dark #1)(33)

Della pulled her legs to her chest and wrapped her arms around them tightly. “Do we have to?”

“Have to? No. But I would like it if you confided in me.” She looked at Della. “I know you don’t like talking about personal issues. I can respect that you’re vampire and that makes you a little less open. I’m married to Burnett, who thinks he can solve his and the world’s issues with no help from anyone. But even my big bad husband is learning that it’s not a weakness to confide in someone.” She glanced up to the sky and then back to Della. “I can feel your pain, and I wouldn’t be doing my job as counselor if I didn’t try to help.”

For one second Della considered telling Holiday about her uncle, but the fear that if he was alive and not registered with the FRU, had her reconsidering. Holiday would probably tell Burnett, and he might feel obligated to report it. “Nothing is going to help with my parents,” Della said, deciding that, while she couldn’t tell Holiday everything, maybe some things were safe.

“What happened?”

“Same ol’ story. They see all the changes that being vampire has brought on as some kind of rebellion on my part. I’d tell them the truth if I didn’t know it would be harder for them to accept than anything they suspect is wrong.” Her chest grew heavy. “I hate disappointing them. I hate…” She swallowed. “I hate knowing that I’m hurting them.” Tears filled her eyes and she glanced away. “I don’t feel like I belong in my own family anymore.”

She swiped the tears crawling down her cheeks.

Holiday placed a hand on Della’s shoulder. The warmth of the fae’s touch eased the pain in Della’s chest. As much as she hated needing a reprieve, she savored the comfort. No wonder Burnett fell for Holiday. The woman’s touch was magical.

“I know it’s hard to live with a secret between you,” Holiday said. “And it’s so unfair. I also know it would be easier to do what most vampires do, to let them think you’re dead. It takes courage to do it this way. I admire you for doing it. And as hard as it is, I’ve seen this work.”

“How can it work when they … think I’m a lying drug addict.”

Holiday sighed. “As soon as you’re an adult, and they recognize that you are a functioning member of society, they’ll assume that you just went through some tough teen years and outgrew it. This way, you can and will maintain a relationship with them. If you go the other route, you’ll lose them forever.”

“I’m not sure I won’t lose them anyway,” Della said. “I think they’re already giving up on me.” Her dad didn’t even talk about her.

“No, they haven’t,” Holiday said. “They love you. If they didn’t, they wouldn’t care. Your mom calls me at least once a week just to check in.”

“But not my dad,” Della said, and in spite of knowing it wasn’t so, she held her breath that Holiday would say differently.

“He’s a man. Men deal with things differently.”

Yeah, some men just stop loving you. For some reason, she remembered Steve and the doctor’s daughter. Was Steve on his way to giving up on her?

Della hugged her legs and let the silence settle in. The fact that her mom was calling sent a wave of fresh emotion inside her … or was it relief knowing at least one of her parents still loved her?

“About last night and what you saw…” Holiday said.

“I’m okay,” Della insisted. “If I want to work for the FRU, I’m going to have to learn to deal with it. And I can.” At least the flashbacks had lessened.

“Yes, you will have to learn, but you don’t have to deal with it alone. Della, don’t tell Burnett I said this, but even he needs someone to lean on. If you really want to work for the FRU, you’ve got to accept that you’re going to need other people. You have to counter the bad with the good. If not, you’ll get lost in the evilness of it all. It can darken your soul and you’ll lose all joy in life.”

“The joy will be catching the mofo who did that,” Della said, and right then the flashback hit again. Her heart filled with the need for justice. “I don’t even know the couple, but they didn’t deserve that.”

“I know.” Holiday grasped Della’s hand. “But before you lose yourself in making things right for others, you need to work on making them right for yourself. I get this feeling you are searching for something. Something you long for. But I also get the feeling you’re procrastinating.”

The truth of the fae’s words hit with a thud on her conscience. Her uncle. Finding something to replace the feeling of the family she felt she’d lost. And what was she was procrastinating about? Reading the obituary. Della glanced away, not liking that Holiday could read her so clearly.

“Don’t worry, I’m not going to force you to tell me anything. But I will tell you this: Whatever it is you’re looking for, make it your quest, but make sure you don’t take too many risks. I know you, Della, and sometimes you act before you think.”

“Maybe I just think fast.” Della smiled, hoping to lighten the conversation.

Holiday rolled her eyes as if she knew exactly what Della was up to. “This trait is part of being vampire, but it’s also part of your personality. You’ve got more raw gumption than anyone I’ve ever met. Gumption is to be admired. But I’m just afraid that if mishandled, it can do you more harm than good.”