Ready for You (Ready #3)(78)

“Will you go somewhere with me?” I asked.

“I’d go anywhere with you.”

***

We held hands as we made our way down the familiar path, the sounds of our footsteps adding to the natural rhythm of the swaying trees and chirping birds. I hadn’t told him why we were here, and he hadn’t asked. He just patiently waited for me to explain.

When we turned the corner and found ourselves at his family’s plot, standing in front of his father’s newly installed headstone, he turned to me in confusion.

“Why are we here?” he asked.

“So, we can say good-bye,” I explained, pointing to the new granite marker that had been installed next to his father’s.

Garrett took a step closer, his eyes scrunching together, as he read the words. “Her name was Hope?” he whispered as he fell to his knees. His fingers lightly touched the raised lettering as if he was memorizing it by feel.

I stepped forward and knelt beside him.

“Your mother told me to give her a name. She said it would help me heal and grieve. I know you always loved the name Hope.”

“It’s beautiful,” he choked out.

We silently looked down at the memorial that marked the memory of our child.

Hope Elizabeth Finnegan

Our darling Hope. Too beautiful for Earth, but we will hold you in Heaven.

Until then…

“Why Elizabeth?” he asked, never taking his eyes off that tiny plaque.

“I wanted her to have a family name. You mother told me Elizabeth was a name that had been passed down from generation to generation.”

He nodded, swallowing hard, as he fought back heavy emotions. “It’s my sister’s middle name as well.”

“I know.”

He finally looked up at me, his eyes wet from unshed tears.

“You gave her my last name,” he whispered.

“She’s our child, Garrett. What other name would I have given her?”

Like so many times before, he bent his head toward mine and kissed my forehead as he pulled me into his arms. “Thank you for this,” he said.

“Your mother helped immensely. Without her, I think I’d still be curled up in bed, covered in old photographs, unable to forgive myself. She helped me in so many ways. She’s an amazing woman.”

Cupping my chin, he placed a brief, tender kiss on my lips, and I felt every emotion he was pouring into me—love, sadness, grief, but most of all, hope. We had hope for our future, our family, and our ever-growing strength. I’d named our daughter well.

He turned his head back to the bronze marker. His vivid green eyes wandered over each word, drinking them in, savoring them.

“She would have had your smile and that cute button nose,” he said with a half smile. “She would have had my eyes and my stubbornness.”

“She would have been tall like you, towering above the boys in her class, with skinny long legs meant for running while being chased by her daddy.”

His smile grew, and he looked down at the ground as if he was picturing her. I knew I was. I could see her image solidifying before me.

Our Hope.

“She’d have a voice just like yours and sing like an angel. I would have spent my evenings in quiet contentment just listening to the two of you making music together,” he said, bringing me to tears.

“There wouldn’t have been a moment of her life we wouldn’t have loved her, watching her grow, seeing her rise and fall, win and lose, as she battled her way through life. We would have loved her unconditionally and without end.” The sobs tore as each word stumbled out of my mouth.

“Someday, we will have our chance to love her,” Garrett said, wrapping his arm around my shoulder to comfort me.

I didn’t know how long we sat there, but in that time, I silently poured my soul out to that little marker in the grass. As I sobbed, Garrett held me, never letting go, as I made peace with my demons. I forgave myself for the mistakes I’d made and the regrets I’d refused to let go of. I felt my heart purge, letting go of the darkness that had settled there. I felt lighter and blessedly free.

Finally, through my grieving, I said good-bye to the child I would never know and the life I would never have. I would never know the joy of giving birth to my own child. I’d never experience the exhilaration of finding out I was carrying Garrett’s child again. This was my new reality, but one thing hadn’t changed—the man by my side.

He was still next to me—holding me, loving me, and supporting me no matter what life might hold—and that made all the difference in the world.

With one final glance at Hope’s marker, I kissed my fingers and placed them next to her name.

“I love you,” I whispered. “Until then…”

Turning to Garrett, I smiled and said, “Let’s go home.”

Chapter Twenty-Six

~Garrett~

I managed to turn the doorknob and push the front door open with my foot, balancing the bags of groceries in my arms, as I tried not to be mauled over by a very exuberant Sam. He jumped and danced at my arrival, and I bent down, jostling the bags, and gave him a quick pat on the head. The smell of something burning hit my nose, and I quickly rose to follow the smell.

“Mia? Are you burning something?” I called as I rounded the corner into our newly remodeled kitchen.