Raw Redemption (Crossing the Line #4)(58)

“No, Derek shouldn’t have. You should have.” Energy snapped in the air between them. “You made a major decision for my life, dictating it with your actions—and I’m not going to pretend I’m not grateful, because being free is better. Better than I ever thought it could be—”

“Ailish.” The way her voice cracked almost dropped him to a kneeling position. “I don’t need you to be grateful, I just need you alive and safe.”

She squared her shoulders. “What about what I need?” For a moment, she stared off into the bedroom, memories almost visible as they played inside her head. “When you gave me this necklace, you said you’d never let me be locked away again. But that’s exactly how I felt when you abandoned me last night.”

His equilibrium dipped under the assault of her softly spoken words. “No. No, that’s the opposite of what I wanted.”

When she looked up at him again, her eyes were wet and luminous. “We were supposed to be on the same side and you shut me out. It wasn’t the first time, either. Or the second time. You moved me around like a chess pawn, and I didn’t even get a say.” She traced a finger down the bloodstain on her dress. “So you don’t get a say in me being here. Do you understand?”

Henrik wanted to turn away from her disapproval, but forced himself to dwell in the face of it, even though acid speared up from his stomach. “I hate you being here, Ailish. I hate it. But I’m glad as hell you’re not here because you feel indebted to me. For what I did.”

She spoke in a whisper. “I can’t let myself feel that way. Not yet. If I think about it, I’ll want to ask why you did it. And if you tell me…I might get a little less pissed. I don’t want that, because I’ve spent my life being treated like a pawn, and I won’t accept it anymore. I won’t. Especially not from you.”

God, she was murdering his soul. He could feel it being battered around like a hockey puck. “Why especially not from me?”

Ailish shook her head, letting him know she wouldn’t be answering. “I’m here because it’s the right thing to do. I have to fix what I’ve done.” She shifted forward as if she might come closer, but stopped, burying him in disappointment. “For now, we’re still on the same team, so let’s talk about what we need to do.”

A huge part of him admired the hell out of her just then. She was fierce and beautiful in her staunch fury. But how could she expect him to strategize with their relationship on such thin ice? Goddammit. What choice did he have? Keeping her safe inside the house was his number one concern. When they got out of this alive, he would beg, borrow, and steal to get her back. Whatever it took. “The room could be bugged,” he managed, the words sounding strangled. “When you talk to me, I’m the man who kidnapped you. Brought you here against your will. You understand? At all times.” He bracketed his hands behind his head, paced away and came back, his stomach lining on fire. “What if they’d sent someone else in here with you? What would you have done?”

Apprehension rippled across her features. “I don’t know. This is unusual, to say the least.” Her eyes lifted to his and flitted away. “You’re the first man who has ever set foot in this bedroom. That includes my father.”

It took a serious effort not to be turned on by that news, and he still failed. Focus. Pacing the short length of the closet, he replayed the meeting with Caine. “So you’ve been feeling guilty all this time about reporting gambling debts to your father, when in reality you’ve probably saved hundreds of their miserable lives by making two sets of books. That right, Ailish?”

“Doesn’t change anything,” she insisted with a headshake. “I’m still complicit. I could have done more. Could have gone to the police.”

“Ailish, you couldn’t move an inch without eyes on you. Going to the police would have endangered your life.” Henrik thought of the way Caine had stabbed the knife into his desk, dilated pupils like lasers on Ailish. “Same way your life is in danger now, dammit.” He closed his eyes. “I take it from your reaction that Caine isn’t normally so volatile?”

“No,” she whispered. “That’s new. He’s always been ruthless, but it was controlled. Now…”

Henrik swallowed the agony of knowing they were surrounded by enemies. How outnumbered he was if it became necessary to protect her in earnest. “So we have two days until Caine expects those names and figures. Can you get through the books by then?”

“Yes.” Ailish stared into the bedroom. “But I don’t want to give those names and debts to my father. He’ll use them. And it’ll be on me. Again.”

He’d reached his limit on seeing Ailish battle guilt. “Let’s get something straight. A man makes a deal with the devil, he knows the consequences up front. You’re just the messenger. None of this has ever been on your head, baby.” He couldn’t tell if his words were sinking in and hated it. Hated the connection she’d blocked between them. “Either way, we won’t let Caine use those names. We have to get you out before handing them over, though. Because once you do…”

“I might be disposable.”

He breathed through the dizziness inflicted by saying the words out loud. “That gives us two days to retrieve the evidence. I’ll have to work fast to make sure we get an opening. And find a way to make contact with Derek.”