Raven's Shadow (Raven #1)(36)

"Huntsman," said Seraph, seeing a dim reflection of her own wild grief in his eyes. "Thank you. There are very few who would have the courage to get near a Blighted Place just to identify a dead man. Knowing is better than waiting with false hope."

Few men as well would have roused the steward to bring the news as soon as it came to him. It had been the huntsman, of course, who had forced Forder to come out at night instead of waiting until tomorrow. Gratitude and grief ripped through years of habit and she sketched a glowing sigil in the air that hung between them briefly.

"Traveler's blessing upon you," she said, "and upon your house. Good fortune hold by you and yours."

In the darkness she could see the whites of Forder's eyes, but the huntsman was made of sterner stuff, as befitted a man who braved Blighted Places.

"And to yours," he said with a quick nod before he mounted his horse.

As soon as the huntsman's foot was in the stirrup, Forder had his own horse in motion. Then they were gone, disappearing into the night, leaving only the lingering sounds of trotting hooves behind them.

Seraph ushered her children into the cabin and lit the fire with a wave of her hand. A corner of her mind noted how easily she shed the cloak of good Rederni wife she'd held to since she married Tier, but she tucked the thought back with her grief as she dealt with the more immediate problem of her children.

The Guardian lurked in the room like a restless spirit, adding fear to the mix of shock and sorrow. Rinnie clung to him, sobbing heartbrokenly. Lehr was pale and still wore the air of calm he'd donned for the benefit of the steward - but his hands held the remains of Tier's bridle in a white-knuckled grip.

Tier would have known how to ease their sorrow. He would have said something wise and soothing. He would have held Rinnie until she fell asleep. Then he would have talked to his sons until there was a bandage of comfort between them and their grief.

Seraph wanted to scream and rage until she was too tired to feel any more.

"There was nothing," she said, "that Tier loved more than you three."

Lehr's face whitened and she went to him and hugged him fiercely. She knew it was the right thing when he wrapped his arms around her and lifted her so he could press his forehead to the crook of her neck.

She would keep them safe, she vowed silently, as she had not been able to keep her clan or Tier. And if she cried, only Jes could see.

Rinnie fell asleep finally. Jes carried her up the ladder to her half of the loft and rejoined Seraph and Lehr where they sat on a bench in front of the fire.

"She wasn't afraid of me," he said.

Seraph smiled and patted the space beside her. "She didn't seem to be, did she?"

He didn't sit down. "Everyone is afraid, even you and Papa."

"And me," said Lehr with a tired smile that was more in his eyes than on his mouth. "Still, it is just a general unease, isn't it? I'm not really afraid of you, just twitchy."

Seraph nodded. "She might have felt that, but there are worse things than fear."

"People don't touch me," said the Guardian, looking down at his hands as if he missed the weight of Rinnie's warm body.

Lehr looked at him sharply, because Jes almost couldn't bear to be touched most of the time.

"You comforted her," said Seraph. "You reminded her that she wasn't alone."

The Guardian looked at her and between one breath and the next became Jes again. "Oh, Mother," he whispered, "we are so sad." He dropped bonelessly to the floor in front of her and began sobbing softly with overwhelming grief.

Seraph started to put a hand on his shoulder, but caught herself. As overwrought as Jes was, he wasn't going to be able to stand her touch at all.

Instead, she got to her feet and opened the front door. "Gura," she said. "In."

The big dog gave her an astonished look - though during the day he sometimes came inside, at night he guarded the farm.

"In," she said again.

Gura padded past her to the fire. As soon as he saw Jes, he flopped out beside him with a sigh. Jes, unable to bear the distraction of human touch, wrapped his arms around the dog and pressed his face against him.

When Seraph sat back down beside Lehr he said, "Why doesn't he like to be touched - when..." he hesitated. "This is really confusing. Why didn't it bother him to be touched when he was being Guardian?"

"Jes is sensitive to the touch of others. Many of the Eagles have the gift of empathy. Because he must always keep the Guardian contained, a third person's feelings are just too much."

"You make it sound like he's two people."

Seraph nodded. "From what my oldest brother who was also a Guardian told me, it's very much like that. I don't know why the Eagle is so different from other Orders, why it is so much more difficult to bear. My teacher believed that the old wizards were trying to make something quite different - a superior warrior perhaps - and they made some mistakes: mistakes that Jes and those like him have to pay for all of their lives." She paused and glanced at Jes. He wasn't paying any attention to them, but she lowered her voice before continuing. "Most Eagles die before they reach Jes's age, so my people are very protective of them; we keep them away from strangers when we can, and don't speak of them outside of the clan. The Guardian is both the most dangerous and most vulnerable of all the Orders."