Raven's Shadow (Raven #1)(17)

"And Karadoc found you out," said Seraph. "When you wouldn't take any pay, he gave you these."

He nodded.

Seraph put the necklace around her throat. Gifts could not be returned, only appreciated. She would find something she could do to repay him for his kindness to her and his gift. A Traveler's blessing could be a useful thing.

"Thank you for this," she said. "I will treasure it as long as it remains in my hands and pass it on as you have, as Karadoc did."

They lapsed into a comfortable silence.

"A man asked me today what I'd do if I could do something besides baking and soldiering," he said at last.

"What did you answer?"

"Farming," he said.

She nodded. "The land gives back everything you put into it and a little more, if you have the knack."

"If you could do anything, be anything, what would it be?"

She stilled. She knew about villages, knew that most men's fates were set in stone when they were little more than children and apprenticed to a trade - or else they were cast off never to be more than itinerant workers or soldiers. Women's lives were dictated by their husbands.

Travelers were a little more free than that usually. A bowyer could decide to smith if he wanted to, as long as he continued to contribute to the clan. There were no guilds to restrict a person from doing as he willed. And women, women ran the clan. Only the lives of the Ordered were set out from the moment a Raven pronounced them gifted at birth.

No Traveler would ever have asked a Raven what she wanted to be.

The silence must have lasted too long because he said, "That question took me aback, today, too. But I learned something. What would you do?"

"Ravens don't marry," she said abruptly. He was easy to talk to, especially in the dark. "We can't afford the distraction. We don't do the normal chores of the clan. No cooking or firewood gathering. We don't darn our own clothes or sew them."

"You cook well," he said.

"That's because Ushireh couldn't cook at all. I learned a lot when we were left on our own. But being a Raven's not like being a baker, Tier. You could leave it and become a soldier. You can leave it now and become a farmer if you want. But I can't leave being a Raven behind."

"But if you could - what would you do?"

She leaned back on her hands and swung her feet back and forth, the bench being somewhat tall for her. In a dreamy, smiling voice she said, "I would be a wife, like the old harridan who runs an inn in Boarsdock on the western coast. She has a double handful of children, all of them taller than her, and they all cringe when she walks by. Her husband is an old sailing man with one leg. I don't think I've ever heard him say anything but, 'yes, dear.' "

She caught him by surprise and Tier gave a crack of laughter that he had to cover his mouth to suppress.

Smiling her satisfaction in the dark, she thought that the oddest thing about her statement was that it was the truth. That old woman ran her inn and her children and their wives and husbands and they all, every one of them, loved her. She lived in the daylight world, where shadow things wouldn't dare show their faces and the children in her family had no more responsibility than grooming a few horses or cleaning a room could provide.

But the thing that Seraph envied the most was that one winter evening, when Seraph's uncles entertained the boisterous crowd that gathered beneath the great fireplace and told them stories of haunts and shadow-things, that wise old woman shook her head with a laugh and said that she had better things to do than listen to tales of monsters fabricated to keep children up all night.

So it was that she stayed when she should have gone. But a week or a month would make little difference to her duties - a lifetime or two would make little difference as far as she could tell. So she stayed.

"Don't pull that up. That's an iris bulb, trimmed down now that it's bloomed," said Tier's sister several weeks later. "Don't you know how to weed?"

Seraph released the hapless plant unharmed, straightened, and almost groaned at the easing in her back. "No," she said, though she'd told her as much when Alinath had set her to the task. How would she have learned to weed? The herbs and food plants she knew, but she'd no experience with flowers at all.

Tier had stormed off at lunch, beset by both his sister and his mother, who had gotten out of her bed only to try and push him into finding a wife. Since then Alinath had been picking at her as if it had been Seraph who'd sent Tier off to seek peace. Seraph had been set to half a dozen tasks, only to be sent to do something else because of some inadequacy in her work, real or imaginary.

"Well leave off then," said Alinath. "Bandor or I will have to finish it, I suppose. You are utterly useless, girl. Cannot sew, cannot cook, cannot weed. The baking room floor needs cleaning - but mind how you do it. Don't let the dust get into the flour bins."

Seraph stood up and dusted off her skirt; she'd left off wearing her comfortable pants when she'd noticed that none of the Rederni women wore anything except skirts.

"It's a shame," she said finally. "That Tier, who wears courtesy as close as his skin, should have a sister with none at all."

Before Alinath could do more than open her mouth, Seraph turned on her heel and entered the house through the baking room door. She regretted her comment as soon as she'd made it. The womenfolk in the clan were no more courteous in their requests than Alinath was. But they would have never turned their demands upon a Raven.