Rainshadow Road (Friday Harbor #2)(15)

“It wasn’t obvious to me. We’d been together for two years. We shared a house. We had sex just last week. So from my perspective, things were going pretty f**king well.”

The word didn’t come easily to Lucy—she wasn’t one of those people who could swear naturally. But it felt good to say it right now. Appropriate to the occasion. And she could tell from Alice’s silence that she hadn’t thought Lucy and Kevin were still sleeping together.

“What do you expect is going to happen now?” Lucy asked. “Am I supposed to forgive you, and forget all about my relationship with Kevin, and make small talk with the two of you during family get-togethers?”

“I know it will take time before that can happen.”

“It won’t take time. No amount of time would be enough. You’ve done more than break my heart, Alice. You’ve broken our family. What’s supposed to happen now? Was it really worth it to steal my boyfriend?”

“Kevin and I love each other.”

“Kevin only loves himself. And if he cheated on me, don’t you think he would do the same to you? Do you think anything good can come of a relationship that started this way?”

“He has a different relationship with me than he did with you.”

“Based on what?”

“I don’t understand what you’re asking.”

“I’m asking, what is the difference? Why you and not me?”

“Kevin wants someone he can be himself with. You’re so perfect, Lucy. You have standards that no one can live up to. Except, apparently, you.”

“I never said I was perfect,” Lucy said unsteadily.

“You didn’t have to. It’s the way you are.”

“You’re actually trying to blame me for what you did?”

“We joke about what a control freak you are,” her sister said ruthlessly. “Kevin said you couldn’t handle it if he left a sock on the floor. You’re so busy controlling everyone and everything, you never stop to notice what’s right in your face. I can’t help it if Kevin wanted me more. I don’t push him the way you do. And in the future you’re going to keep losing boyfriends if you don’t change.”

“I didn’t need your help in losing this one,” Lucy said unsteadily, and hung up before her sister could reply.

Five

It was exhausting, the exertions your mind went through after a breakup. Past events had to be recalled and parsed, conversations reevaluated. Clues were matched together like socks from the dryer. After all that effort, the wonder was not that you had broken up, the wonder was that you hadn’t noticed all the signs.

“Most people don’t have the time to put something in context at the moment it’s happening to them,” Justine said. “Most of us are too busy remembering the dentist appointment and trying to get to work on time, and remembering to clean the fish’s bowl before it gets tail rot.”

“I can’t believe how easily Kevin lied to me,” Lucy said. “I thought I knew him so well, and it turns out I didn’t know him at all.”

“That’s how betrayal works. People can’t hurt you unless they get you to trust them first.”

“I don’t think the goal was to hurt me,” Lucy said. “But somewhere along the line Kevin’s feelings for me changed, and I didn’t notice. Maybe he just fell in love with Alice, and it’s as simple as that.”

“Doubt it,” Justine said. “I think Kevin used Alice as a way to get out of the relationship with you, and now he’s stuck with her.”

“Even if that’s true, I need to understand why he fell out of love with me.”

“What you need is a new boyfriend.”

Lucy shook her head. “I’m taking a break from men until I can figure out why I keep ending up with the wrong ones.”

But her friend was having none of that. “I know a lot of great guys. I can fix you up with someone.” Justine was involved in nearly every kind of group or club in Friday Harbor. She volunteered for charity drives and fun runs, and sponsored a local women’s self-defense class. Although Justine’s involvements with men often lasted no longer than a patdown from a TSA agent, she had the knack of staying friends with the guys she had dated.

“Of course,” Justine said reflectively, “you may have to lower your standards just a little.”

“My standards aren’t high to begin with,” Lucy said. “All I want is a man who takes care of himself but isn’t a narcissist … who works but isn’t obsessed with his job, and is confident without being arrogant … and isn’t still living with his parents when he’s in his thirties, and doesn’t expect that taking me for a romantic dinner at a local restaurant on the first date is automatically going to lead to the removal of my clothes. Is that so unreasonable?”

“Yes,” Justine said. “But if you can forget that laundry list of qualities, you might find a pretty decent guy. Like Duane.”

She was referring to her current boyfriend, a biker who dressed in leathers and rode an ’81 Harley Shovelhead.

“Did I tell you I’m doing some work for Hog Heaven?” Lucy asked. It was the biker church that Duane attended.

“No, you didn’t mention it.”