Pushing the Limits (Pushing the Limits #1)(48)

“Looks like you’re doing a fantastic job. Killed any goldfish lately?” I scooped my brother up and sat on the couch with him cradled in my arms. I sang Mom’s favorite song in his ear.

I continued to whisper the song until Jacob’s tears and convulsions faded. Finally, he opened his eyes, awareness more pronounced than confusion. “Noah?”

“Hey, bro.”

TYLER DREW ME PICTURES DURING our visit. Lots and lots of pictures. He smiled and hugged me before he left, but still never said a word. Jacob sat in my lap while we played the game at least a hundred times. When Keesha told us our time was up, it felt like someone had ripped out my heart, cut it into pieces and poured alcohol all over it. Jacob locked his arms around my neck so tightly, he constricted my air passage.

“I’m scared, Noah,” he whispered to me.

“Jacob, it’s time …” started Carrie.

Mrs. Collins shushed her while motioning with her hand for me to continue. My eyes widened and I held him tighter. Dammit. What type of questions did Mrs. Collins ask me? “What are you scared about?”

“What if there’s another fire? You’re not going to be there to save me.”

“I’ll always save you.” Because I would. I’d move heaven and earth. I’d willingly walk into hell and stay there. I’d give up anything and everything for him.

He sniffed and his body began to shake. I absently rubbed his back. “It’s okay, bro.”

“But if there is another fire …”

Mrs. Collins pointed to Jacob and then to Carrie and her pathetic husband, her meaning clear. I’d rather go back to some of my earlier foster homes than tell him to trust those idiots. “There won’t be another fire.”

Mrs. Collins raised her hands in exasperation, shaking her head. He whispered in my ear, “How do you know?”

I kissed his cheek and whispered back, “I know.”

His voice barely audible, Jacob said, “Please don’t tell anyone.”

“Never.”

“DON’T TELL ANYONE WHAT, NOAH?” Mrs. Collins stared into the two-way mirror, fixing her hair.

“What?” I put on my jacket and grabbed Tyler’s drawings.

“Jacob whispered to you not to tell anyone and you agreed.” She turned and smiled. “I read lips.”

Of course she did. What the f**k didn’t she do? Oh, drive. “You must have misunderstood.”

“No. I didn’t.” She straightened her dress. “What do you think of the dress, too much? I’ve never chaperoned a dance. Not that it matters, I won’t have time to change. Keeping secrets isn’t helping your brother.”

What the hell? Was the lady incapable of a coherent line of thought? Dresses, chaperoning dances, my brothers? Screw good impressions. She treaded on territory I wanted her far away from. “You don’t know anything about me and my brothers, so I suggest you butt out.”

“This is a hard way to live. Not trusting anyone,” she said in that annoying I’m-older-and-wiser-than-you voice. “It’s not you and your brothers against the world. Aren’t you tired of being miserable? Don’t you want to know what it feels like to be happy again?”

Yes, but the world didn’t work that way—not for me.

She picked up a drawing Tyler had done for her. “You’re not going to find happiness until you learn to trust. If you’re going to start somewhere, why not with me?”

I had a million reasons why not—with her.

Echo

I tugged at my gloves for possibly the millionth time this evening. When Luke brought up the idea of joining Lila, Grace, Natalie, a few other girls and all their dates for a limo ride, I’d jumped at the opportunity. I made the mistake of thinking that would keep Luke’s wandering hands from touching my body. Guess not.

The limo pulled in front of the school’s gym. Luke’s hand brushed the side of my breast and he whispered in my ear, “You’re so hot, Echo.”

I shifted away from him and his beer breath and peeked to see if anyone had noticed the inappropriate way he touched me. I whispered back, “Stop it. People are watching.”

He downed the rest of the beer, shoving his body against mine again. “Tell me it’ll be tonight. My parents will be gone until tomorrow afternoon and your dad told me you didn’t have a curfew. We’ll have all night.” His hand dropped to my butt.

Great—obviously Daddy wanted me to get laid. I smacked Luke’s hand away. “You told me you’d give me time to think.”

“You’ve had plenty of time to think. Come on, you look ssso beautiful.” How wonderful, he was slurring and we hadn’t even had our first dance yet.

The limo came to a stop and Stephen opened the door. “Ladies first.” He motioned for Lila to get out, but I bolted from the limo like my clothes were on fire.

Lila followed. Her breath also hinted of beer. “You okay?”

“I’m fine,” I lied. Luke had marked his territory over the past few weeks by performing the high school equivalent of a dog peeing on a fire hydrant (holding my hand, wrapping his arm around me, sitting with me at lunch) and made me, once again, acceptable. For Lila, Grace and Natalie life was finally back to normal.

For me, “normal” felt worse. Sure, people talked to me now, but dating Luke and having Grace back as a public friend didn’t stop the stares or the whispers. That big gaping wound inside of me hadn’t filled like I had expected. In fact, the hole grew wider and deeper.