Proof by Seduction (Carhart #1)(59)
“White,” he said. “I want you to make some inquiries for me.”
His man was unperturbed by the meandering nature of the conversation. “Yes, my lord. About Ware?”
Gareth shook his head guiltily. “No. It’s about a woman. Her name is Jenny Keeble. More than that, I do not know. Find out what you can. Discreetly. As for me…” His gaze fell on the stack of papers. “Make an appointment with Ware. Convey the time to my cousin. I’m going out. I need to make other arrangements.”
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
NED ADJUSTED the screw on the barrel of the gas lamp, and the room in his mother’s household fell into velvet dimness. Red streaks of afternoon painted dizzying figures through the elms outdoors, as leaves dipped up and down against the wall. The rain had stopped. Not that it mattered.
He could smell his own unwashed stink, collected against day-old sheets in desperate need of airing. Grime and sticky sweat had accumulated on his body after a full day spent feigning illness.
Not entirely feigning. Even spread out flat atop his coverlet, the world spun out of his control. He felt dizzy just lying still. And he didn’t need to fib about that nauseated pit in the center of his stomach. He hadn’t felt quite this way—dark and flattened, like some dried-out bladder—since two years before.
Two years ago, Madame Esmerelda had tricked him into thinking his life was worth living. She’d lied.
And he had been so desperate to believe her—so rashly convinced there was something of value about himself—that he’d destroyed Lady Kathleen’s reputation just to prove Madame Esmerelda’s predictions were right. If that didn’t demonstrate what a useless blight Ned was, nothing else would.
He shut his eyes and imagined the view from his second-floor window. A square, a streetlamp. High dormer windows loomed across the way, carved into sloping slate roofs. Lower windows bricked to guard against taxes. A straight road disappeared between the white-walled town houses. If one followed it long enough, it led straight out of London. Straight out of this embarrassment.
Had Ned bothered to stand up and go to the window, he would have seen the sight for himself. Perhaps he would even have slid the pane of glass aside and rid the room of the subtle stench that had gathered in the close confines of the room over the last day.
That, however, would have required effort. And Ned’s muscles were as responsive to his commands as water to whips.
It had been two years since he’d last fought this malaise. If one called “lying in bed and staring at the ceiling” fighting. One afternoon, two years ago, he’d remembered that fortune-teller he’d visited with friends on a lark. He’d struggled out of bed long enough to pay Madame Esmerelda a visit. She had promised him he would one day be a man. She’d told him to live on, that life would improve. It had. He’d begun to believe the drugging debility that curled around his heart like a dragon had disappeared for good.
But it hadn’t been vanquished. Instead, the beast had only bided its time, waiting to wrest him off balance and out of control.
He’d known it. His desperation to marry off his cousin had been fueled by the feel of black claws sinking into his soul.
And Madame Esmerelda’s long-ago promise had been worth less than the air it took her to utter the words.
Sometime during the hours of the afternoon, between Ned’s brooding fit just at the noon hour and an attack of the sullens at tea-time, his cousin had sent over a note. At seven the next evening, the pleasure of Ned’s company was required—required, not requested—so that the two of them could meet the Duke of Ware and Lady Kathleen. Some solution was to be found to this mess.
Ned had no doubt what the solution would be. He was going to have to marry her.
Even if she had been the sort of woman he would have chosen as a wife, the thought of marriage left him cold. Marriage was for men who could be trusted, men who did not collapse every two years in debilitating darkness. Marriage was for men who wanted children, not fools who feared they carried madness in their blood. He’d always believed he would never marry. But it would have been too much to say his spirit quailed at the thought. Quailing took effort; Ned had only the energy to feel an unwelcome pressure against his lungs.
Ned turned over and thought of that London street leading through the square just outside his window. If he were to get up now and put on clothing, he could set foot on that road.
He might walk on it, put one foot in front of the other, and then the other. He would disappear into the gloom of the night, never to be seen again.
Perhaps, he thought with a hint of interest, he would be set upon by thieves and robbers. Maybe he would fight them.
Maybe he would lose. Such sure and sudden defeat would certainly make his life easier.
Still, even if he expended all that effort, there was no guarantee he’d be waylaid, and the thought of walking far enough to escape Blakely’s reach made Ned feel very tired indeed.
Besides, he’d never escape his own clutches, no matter how many miles he put between himself and London. And that was the biggest problem of them all.
So instead of setting off in search of thieves, he turned over on his side and fell back into a restive sleep.
“HERE THEN. Where’ll you be wanting this?”
Jenny, still bedraggled from her walk home through the rain, stared blankly at the man in her doorway. He spoke around a piece of hay in his mouth. He smelled of unwashed laborer and his hair looked as if it had not been combed in upward of a month. Puddles lay around them, but the sun peeked out from behind dismal clouds. A shame; a wash might have done the man good.