Predestined (Existence Trilogy #2)(27)
The pale pink dress hanging on the outside of Pagan’s closet door caught my attention. The soft fabric appeared almost precious enough to touch Pagan’s skin. I walked over to it and picked up the dainty hem and rubbed the silky texture between my fingers.
“Do you like it?” Pagan asked before wrapping her arms around my waist.
“I love it. When will you wear it?” I inquired turning around in her arms to gaze down at her and soak in her features.
“Well,” she bit the inside of her lip nervously then glanced around me to look at her dress. “I saw it at the store and I just... liked it. I guess I need somewhere to wear it...” she trailed off staring up at me hopefully. Was she asking me to take her somewhere nice? Our last few weeks had been anything but fun for her. We’d been dealing with Leif and his crap. Other than the concert that ended horribly I hadn’t taken her anywhere.
The door creaked and I lifted my eyes to see Gee stick her head back inside. “It’s called Valentine’s Day, you moron,” she announced. “If you’re going to date a human, Dankmar, you need to remember their holidays.” Gee gave me an exasperated look before closing the door once more.
Valentine’s Day. I’d forgotten about that holiday. Holidays usually meant more work for me. Depressed people tended to end things on special occasions and party goers drank too much and then got behind the wheels of vehicles. But Valentine’s Day wasn’t too bad as far as suicides and car wrecks were concerned.
“I’m sorry, Pagan. I’m not very good at this, apparently. Can you forgive me for not thinking about the fact I need to do more than just show up in your bedroom or go with you to school? I’m a piss poor boyfriend aren’t I?”
“Ignore Gee. She just likes to give you a hard time. Honestly, I didn’t buy this in hopes you’d take me somewhere for Valentine’s Day. I just saw it and I remembered that you wanted me to wear pale pink once, for the Homecoming Dance. I thought I’d get it and maybe when we had time I could wear it somewhere with you.”
I kissed the top of her head. Leif was interfering in our lives and I didn’t like it. My mind was focused so much on him and Pagan’s soul; I’d neglected her. “Valentine’s we have a date and I definitely want you to wear that dress.”
Pagan
Dank was gone again today. He’d stayed the night with me or at least he’d been there when I feel asleep. Last night he’d played my song. I’d missed hearing him sing it.
There had been more words added this time as if he’d perfected it. The desperate sound in his voice had made me glad I was lying in my bed watching him. I was pretty sure I’d have become a puddle on the floor if I’d tried to stand up. His dark hair had fallen into his eyes as he looked down at the guitar in his hands and strummed the beginning of the song. I’d recognized it immediately. The words drifted through my head all morning as I hummed the hauntingly sweet melody.
“You weren’t meant for the ice. You weren’t made for the pain.
The world that lives inside of me brought only shame.
You were meant for castles and living in the sun.
The cold running through me should have made you run.
Yet you stay holding onto me
Yet you stay reaching out a hand that I pushed away
Yet you stay when I know it’s not right for you
Yet you stay
Yet you stay
I can’t feel the warmth. I need to feel the ice.
I want to hold it all in until I can’t feel the knife.
So I push you away and I scream out your name
I know I can’t need you yet you give in anyway
Yet you stay holding onto me
Yet you stay reaching out a hand that I pushed away
Yet you stay when I know it’s not right for you
Yet you stay
Yet you stay
I can’t feel the warmth. I need to feel the ice.
I want to hold it all in until I can’t feel the knife.
So I push you away and I scream out your name
And I know I can’t need you yet you give in anyway
Yet you stay holding onto me
Yet you stay reaching out a hand that I pushed away
Yet you stay when I know it’s not right for you
Yet you stay
Yet you stay
Oh, the dark will always be my cloak and you are the threat to unveil my pain.
So leave, leave and erase my memories
I need to face the life that was meant for me.
Don’t stay and ruin all my plans
You can’t have my soul, oh, I’m not a man
The empty vessel I dwell in is not meant to feel the heat you bring
So I push you away and I push you away
Yet you stay
Ooooooh
Yet you stay
Yet you stay
Yet you stay”
“What has you looking all dreamy standing over here all alone?” Miranda asked, startling me out of my thoughts by slapping a hand against the closed locker beside mine. I couldn’t keep the grin off my face.
“Dank,” I replied.
Miranda raised her eyebrows and fanned herself with one hand, “Girl, I don’t blame you, that boy can wear a pair of jeans like nobody’s business.”
I laughed and shook my head. Miranda truly appreciated men. She loved Wyatt but that didn’t stop her from checking out the rest of the male population.