Predatory Game (GhostWalkers, #6)(100)
She dried off, repeating to herself that she was not going to let Jess persuade her. It was the height of stupidity. But with a sinking heart she knew if Jesse said just the right thing, looked at her a certain way, she’d give in—because she loved him. And love seemed to make her do really stupid things.
She dressed carefully, hoping to provide herself with a little armor, and went back down to join him. Jess always took her breath away with how handsome he was. She’d seen him once standing and he’d been an imposing sight. She felt safer with him in a wheelchair. Was that the reason she wanted to say no? Was it more than her fear of harming him? She hoped not. She hoped she wasn’t that petty, but for the first time in her life she’d been happy. Jess standing, walking, working as a GhostWalker would change everything.
She crossed the room to avoid getting too close to him. She perched on the countertop and folded her arms, waiting for him to speak first.
“You have to be open-minded, Saber.”
He even smelled good. Her heart ached looking at him, drinking him in. It would all change. Didn’t he realize that? She shrugged. “I’m trying to be, but you have to be open-minded too, Jesse. There are a million reasons not to try this. One misstep and instead of regenerating a nerve, I could give you cancer.”
“Before we get into all the reasons we shouldn’t try it, angel face, just tell me what you remember of the report.”
Saber’s blue eyes glittered at him. “I think you’re crazy to even consider doing anything Whitney advises.”
“Whitney may be insane, but he’s still a genius. If he thinks he has a solution to making the bionics work without a power pack, I’d like to hear it.” He kept his voice calm and even.
“He has a solution for a lot of things, Jesse, and none of them are acceptable in a civilized world.”
He refrained from arguing. She’d stall as long as he let her. “Just give me the information.”
“Fine.”
She shrugged, but he noticed she twisted her fingers together and held them tightly against her middle as if her stomach was churning in protest. He wanted to put his arms around her and comfort her, but he stayed still, knowing she had to come to terms with the idea of using her talent on him by herself.
“Apparently it’s been known for some time that using electrical currents on wounds can regenerate lost limbs and even repair severed spinal cords in a variety of fish and mammals. Fish, Jesse. Mammals. Not humans. No one has tried what you’re suggesting.”
“Humans are mammals,” he pointed out.
“Don’t even try to be funny.” She jumped off the counter and began to pace with quick, restless steps. “This isn’t funny, Jesse. What you’re asking me to do…”
“I know it isn’t funny,” he replied. “But there has to be something to this.”
“Maybe.” She pushed at her hair, making it more tousled than ever. “Whitney concluded that the neural pathways need electrical stimulation for regeneration, and that without it, any attempt will eventually fail. There are drugs that stimulate growth, but he concludes that they will never push the neural pathways to form correctly. The downside appears to be that if you overstimulate, it can cause excessive cell growth and cause tumors. Cancer, Jesse. That’s what he’s talking about.”
“But without the electrical current, there’s really no hope.”
She whirled around to face him. “I knew you’d jump on that. I knew it. Whitney doesn’t know everything. He doesn’t, Jesse, and he’s capable of terrible things. I’ve seen it. I’ve been a part of his experiments and believe me, he doesn’t revere life. We’re inferior to him. He wants the perfect soldier, and we’re not quite up to his standards, so if he needs to find out how far electrical current can be used before it causes cells to become cancerous, he has no compunction about doing so.”
“I’m aware of that.” Jess kept his tone low, careful not to let the energy swirling in the room near her. He was worried enough without hearing what he already knew. “But you can manipulate the electrical current and read my rhythm at the same time, can’t you? Isn’t that what you do?”
“Nothing is that simple. I’ll admit that the report supports findings that bioelectricity plays an important role in cell regeneration and that electrical induction of tissue regeneration may have some application…”
“Not some application, Saber. Significant application.”
“Maybe. But you want neural pathways reestablished from your brain to your legs. The nerves are damaged. You have no feeling.”
“I have some feeling now. Since they operated and put in the bionics. You saw me walk. Something is happening to allow that. Before the operation, I couldn’t move my feet. Now I can. I have to concentrate, but I can do it.”
“There you go, then. Give yourself more time.”
“I would be walking by now if it was going to work.”
“You don’t know that, Jesse, and you’re risking cancer.” She knelt in front of him, looking up. “Please, for just a minute, put yourself in my place. How could I live with myself if I ever harmed you? How could I go on? Do you have any idea what you’re asking of me?”
He framed her face with both hands. “Yes. I know I’m going to do this. If you don’t help me, I’ll ask Lily and Eric, and neither of them can monitor me the way you can. I’m asking you to do this because I believe you’re my best chance.”