Point of Retreat (Slammed #2)(47)
The spotlight dims and focuses on a stool on the stage, just as I had instructed the lighting tech to do. I don’t like the bright lights hindering my view of the audience, so I made sure they would all be turned off. I want to see Lake’s face the entire time. I need to be able to look her in the eyes, so she’ll know just how serious I am.
Before I take the stairs, I stretch my neck and arms out to ease the apprehension building up inside of me. I exhale a few breaths, then take the stage.
I walk to the stool and take a seat as I place my satchel on the floor. I take the microphone out of the stand and look straight at Lake, who finally looks up from her phone. As soon as she sees me, she frowns and shakes her head. She’s pissed. She says something to Caulder, who’s seated at the edge of the booth, and she points to the door. He shakes his head and doesn’t move. I watch as she fidgets her hands around beside her, looking for her purse. She can’t find it. She points to Kiersten who is seated on the other edge of the booth and Kiersten shakes her head, too. Lake looks at Gavin and Eddie, then at Kiersten again, then she realizes they’re all in on it. After accepting the fact that they aren’t going to let her out of the booth, she folds her arms across her chest and returns her focus back to the stage. Back to me.
“Are you finished trying to run away yet?” I say into the microphone. “Because I have a few things I’d like to say to you.”
The audience turns and searches for the person I’m speaking to. When Lake notices everyone staring at her, she buries her face in her hands.
I bring the audience's attention back to me. “I’m breaking the rules tonight,” I say. “I know that slams can’t involve props, but I’ve got a few I need to use. It’s an emergency.”
I bend down and pick the satchel up, then stand up and place it on the stool. I put the microphone back into the stand and position it at the right height.
“Lake? I know you told me you wanted me to think about everything you said the other night. I know it’s only been two days, but honestly, I didn’t even need two seconds. So instead of spending the last two days thinking about something I already know the answer to, I decided to do this instead. It’s not a traditional slam, but I have a feeling you aren't that picky. My piece tonight is called “Because of you.”
I exhale and smile at her before I begin.
"There are moments in every relationship that define when two people start to fall in love.
A first glance
A first smile
A first kiss
A first fall…"
(I remove the Darth Vader house shoes from my satchel and look down at them.)
"You were wearing these during one of those moments.
One of the moments I first started to fall in love with you.
The way you gave me butterflies that morning
had absolutely nothing to do with anyone else,
and everything to do with you.
I was falling in love with you that morning
because of you."
(I take the next item out of the satchel. When I pull it out and look up, she brings her hands to her mouth in shock.)
"This ugly little gnome
with his smug little grin…
He's the reason I had an excuse to invite you into my house.
Into my life.
You took a lot of aggression out on him over those next few months.
I would watch from my window as you would kick him over every time you walked by him.
Poor little guy.
You were so tenacious.
That feisty, aggressive, strong-willed side of you….
the side of you that refused to take crap from this concrete gnome?
The side of you that refused to take crap
from me?
I fell in love with that side of you
because of you."
(I set the gnome down on the stage and grab the c.d.)
"This is your favorite c.d.
‘Layken’s shit.’
Although now I know you intended for shit to be possessive,
rather than descriptive.
The banjo started playing through the speakers of your car
and I immediately recognized my favorite band.
Then when I realized it was your favorite band, too?
The fact that these same lyrics inspired both of us?
I fell in love with that about you.
That had absolutely nothing to do with anyone else.
I fell in love with that about you
because of you."
(I take a slip of paper out of the satchel and hold it up. When I look at her, I see Eddie slide her a napkin. I can’t tell from up here, but that can only mean she’s crying.)
"This is a receipt I kept.
Only because the item I purchased that night was on the verge of ridiculous.
Chocolate milk on the rocks? Who orders that?
You were different, and you didn’t care.
You were being you.
A piece of me fell in love with you at that moment,
because of you."
"This?" (I hold up another sheet of paper.)
"This I didn’t really like so much.
It’s the poem you wrote about me.
The one you titled 'mean?'
I don’t think I ever told you…
but you made a zero.
And then I kept it
to remind myself of all the things I never want to be to you."