Play It Safe(129)

Buddy, though, now it was Buddy who was unleashed and he went wild.

Throwing his arms out then slapping his hand against the side of the house, he began.

“Since I could remember, all Granddaddy talked about was Cody land. Then my father went on and on and f**kin’ on about it. ‘Good neighbors but that sure is some damn pretty land.’” His last words, undoubtedly repeating his father, were sarcastic and biting. “And I took Granddaddy’s shit, I took Dad’s shit. Want me up on a horse. Want me muckin’ f*ckin’ horseshit. Want me ridin’ the fences with the ranch hands. Want me out herding the cattle. Want me in the pens wrestlin’ f*ckin’, filthy, stinkin’ calves. Fuck that. I got no interest in that. Do they care?” He shook his head. “No. ‘You’re a Sharp, Bud, quit pissin’ around and be a f**kin’ Sharp.’” More of Jeb Sharp’s words to his son coming out snide with his face twisted. “So I decided, he wouldn’t let me be me, he only would let me be what he wanted me to be, I’d be what I f**kin’ wanted to be and I’d see about taking what he most wanted. I’d sit in this house on this land with my family. A Sharp would be here but he’d know it would be me, he’d know this was all mine, he’d know I got what he wanted, what his Daddy wanted, what his Daddy’s Daddy wanted, I got. And it would be mine, not his and f**k him. Fuck him.”

“This shit is true, then why the f**k did you take Ivey from me?” Gray asked.

“You found a girl, got married, had children, you’re a Cody. If you had a family I’d never get you off this land.”

This was definitely true.

But Gray obviously didn’t believe it.

“This shit, Bud. It’s all bullshit. You targeted me.”

“Bonus, Gray,” he snarled. “Mr. Mustang, the Mighty Cody, everyone in town thinkin’ you control the sun and moon, call the tides. Made me sick watchin’ it, hearin’ it,” he leaned in, “livin’ that shit. Made me sick.”

“That’s it?” Gray asked incredulously and I thought strangely. “Controlling lives, breaking hearts, destroying property, killing animals for that shit?”

Oh. Well. I could see his point.

“Yeah, Gray, that’s it. You didn’t live my life. Your Daddy strutted through town makin’ damn sure everyone in it knew he thought you could control the sun and moon, call the tides, talkin’ you up so much, they believed it. My Daddy didn’t do that shit.”

“And this?” Gray went on. “Your visit today. What the f**k is this all about?”

“I ate that shit all my life, you don’t get to live free and easy. You don’t get your happily ever after. And neither does she,” Buddy answered on a sneer.

“So it is about me and it’s also about Ivey,” Gray stated.

Buddy glared at him and said nothing which meant yes.

“I don’t believe this,” Gray whispered.

“Believe it,” Buddy clipped.

“I don’t believe this shit,” Gray kind of repeated.

“Believe it!” Buddy shouted and Gray stood there, staring him down, silent.

Then he broke his silence.

“You’re pathetic,” he stated and Buddy blinked.

Then his face twisted again.

“Fuck you. You think I care what you think?” he asked.

“Yeah,” Gray answered. “I think you care too damned much about what everybody thinks.”

And there it was. Gray had another excellent point.

He also wasn’t done.

“I also think you’re weak. You wanted to be your own man? Bud, all you had to do was be your own man. Fuck, you got a college degree. You found a job that paid a shitload. You found a pretty wife. You gave her beautiful daughters. You put a nice house over their heads. But you’re so f**kin’ pathetic you didn’t see that you already showed your Dad. Instead you hurt people, including your wife and kids, to perpetrate some sick-ass shit so you could show everybody…” He trailed off then asked, “What? To show everybody what?” He didn’t wait for Buddy to answer, he just kept talking. “I don’t know. It’s so whacked I don’t get it. The only thing I get is that you are sadder and less of a man than I already thought you were and, Bud, that’s sayin’ somethin’ because me and the rest of Mustang thought you were lowest kind of person a person could be.”

Buddy opened his mouth to reply but Gray took a step back and beat him to it.

“That’s it then that’s it. You don’t wake up and be a man, that’s on you, not on me. You pile more shit on me and Ivey, it’s f**ked, but it reflects on you, not me. You are obviously not wakin’ up but every time you fail to beat me, you…just…fail making you less and less the man you wanna be and more and more the man your Daddy feared you’d be. So, do what you gotta do. Nothin’ a pathetic excuse for a man like you could do could defeat me.”

And with that, he was done and I knew that when my man turned and walked through the snow toward me and Hoot Booker. He didn’t even glance at the cops and he didn’t look over his shoulder and give Bud Sharp any more of his attention. He just stopped two feet away from my father and me.

His eyes did a scan of my face then they went over my shoulder to Hoot.