Pierced (Lucian & Lia #1)(53)
Again, I look at Lucian as I answer. “My mother and stepfather were arguing. I was doing the laundry and couldn’t get out of their way fast enough. My mother left the room and I…he was really angry. He took the iron from my hand and tore my shirt. He put the iron on my back and said: ‘Cows are always branded so they know who they belong to, and you’ll always belong to me.’” Even from across the room, I see Lucian flinch. I have never gone into all the details of what had happened to me, and I realize I should have before today. Regardless of how humiliating this is for me, it’s inexcusable that I haven’t prepared him better for what he will hear.
The knot in my stomach had started to loosen slightly when the question I had been dreading came. “Miss Adams, did Mr. Dawson ever sexually assault you?” I knew the DA’s office already had this information from my deposition, so it’s only reasonable they would go over each point for the judge. Unlike my other answers, I can’t look at Lucian when I answer this. Why didn’t I tell him? God, how could I just let this hit him now? I focus on the paisley pattern on the prosecutor’s tie and strive for calm.
“In ways, yes.” From the corner of my eye, I see Max grab Lucian’s arm, trying to settle him. Before the prosecutor can ask me to clarify, I continue. “He came into my room for months at night. He…he would choke or hurt me until I took my clothes off.” I hadn’t even realized that tears were tracking silently down my face until one splashed on my hand. “He would touch me with one hand, while…masturbating with his other.”
Lucian shouts out as if in agony. Finally, my eyes are on his, and it takes my breath away. His face is filled with naked agony, my words shredding him. My tears flow faster now as my lips soundlessly whisper how sorry I am to him. For someone with his protective streak, news like this is shattering. The prosecutor wisely asks for a recess, and the judge agrees. I have a thirty-minute reprieve, and I need every moment of it to compose myself. As I stand and leave the stand, I am suddenly looking at my stepfather. I’m not sure if I expect some trace of guilt from him, but none is present. He looks at me in a familiar way that makes my skin crawl, as if we share a dirty secret. I turn quickly away and walk toward Lucian and Max. I have almost reached them when my mother steps from behind the table and smirks at me. I feel rage the likes of which I have never felt before. I want to claw her eyes out. She has no shame. She feels not one bit of remorse over not protecting her daughter. She seems to enjoy my pain.
As Lucian walks up behind me, settling a protective arm over my shoulders, she turns her attention to him. He meets her stare, his expression one of contempt and disgust; his opinion of her couldn’t be more apparent. He turns me from her without a backward glance, and we walk from the courtroom. He leads me down the hallway and into an empty office, shutting the door behind us. “I’m sorry,” I sob into his chest before he can speak.
His arms envelope me, pulling me into his shuddering chest. “Christ, baby, why didn’t you tell me what that bastard did to you?”
“He didn’t rape me,” I whisper against his neck, desperate to get closer.
“Lia, he sexually assaulted you. He may not have been inside you, but the f*cker touched you…he f*cking forced you to endure that. Goddamn it!”
The floodgates are open, and I am helpless to stop the flow of tears as I sob in Lucian’s arms, continuing to apologize. “Honey, please stop saying you’re sorry. You have nothing to apologize for. Yes, I wish I had known, but I understand how hard this must be for you.” He pulls back, holding me at arm’s length. “You know this doesn’t change anything between us, right? I’m just blown away by who you are and all that you have accomplished despite what you’ve had to overcome.”
My body sags in relief. A part of me has always been afraid he wouldn’t want me if he found out I had let someone do something so dirty to me. In my weaker moments, I second-guessed myself, wondering if he would have really killed me if I had refused. Had I taken the easy way out because of my fear? Didn’t that make me a coward? I had no idea I had spoken my fears aloud until Lucian growls.
“Baby, how can you even think that? You, a coward? Shit, that’s the most absurd thing I’ve ever heard. You’re one of the strongest people I’ve ever known. Most people would have given up after enduring what you have. Look at what an amazing woman you are. You refuse to take the easy way out of anything. Hell, you’re cleaning my house instead of letting me take care of you like I want to.”
I reach up, kissing his throat. “Geez, I needed that.” I surprise a laugh out of him, causing me to smile in return. A throat clearing behind us has us both looking toward the door.
Max steps around us, leaning against the opposite wall. “I thought you did well, Lia. We only have a few minutes before we have to go back. Do you have any questions for me?”
“Yeah, when’s the next bus run by here?” He grins at me, something I have a feeling he doesn’t often do. I think he’s secretly relieved I’ve finished falling apart and am attempting a bit of humor. Something about men being around crying women makes them damn uncomfortable.
“Fair question. I think Luc here will make sure you have a ride out of here at the earliest opportunity. If you are ready, we better get back inside.”
Lucian gives me a quick kiss before dropping his arms. “Come on, baby. If we’re lucky, we can fit in some more delightful conversation with your mother before they call court to order.” I jab him in the side with my elbow, trying to suppress a smile at his words. It’s hard to believe I am anything other than a basket case after my testimony, but Lucian makes things better just by being near. I have little doubt this whole ordeal would be much different were he not here with me.