Penmort Castle (Ghosts and Reincarnation #1)(163)

“Sorry?” he asked.

She waved her hand in the air and repeated, “I’m sorry I fell in love with you. I wasn’t going to tell you but I didn’t want you to believe Vivianna. It was stupid, I should have let you believe what she was saying but I didn’t want you to. I don’t know why.”

“Abby –” he began but she talked over him.

“Jenny told me last night about your talk.” When he opened his mouth, she waved her hand in the air again and said, “It’s okay. I’m okay with it. I mean, I’m not, like, at all, but I have to be, don’t I?” She didn’t let him answer and went on. “I like what we have. No, I love what we have and I’d be really happy to stay this way for as long as you want. But Jenny reminded me I’m kind of weird in that I get attached, as in really attached, and she’s right.” She took a deep breath and Cash thought he had his chance to speak but she got there before him. “Even though, you know, I love you and everything, I think it’s best if we just move on. End it. Now. I don’t want it to be messy for you and I’m sure you don’t want that either. I mean, it’s better for you this way, trust me.”

Cash’s arms moved around her and he pulled her closer to his chest, deeper into his lap.

She didn’t notice this and kept right on talking. “And I’m being kind of selfish. I don’t want it to be messy either and I don’t want to get more attached, if you know what I mean.”

He tried to cut in. “Abby –”

He failed as she rattled on. “So a clean break now would be good. I mean, not good but better for all concerned. You’ve got your castle and Alistair got what he deserved and Vivianna is in hell so all’s well in The World of Cash. Which will make me feel a bit, you know, more okay with everything, knowing it’s all good for you.”

She stopped on a sharp breath that hitched in the middle and he realised she was close to tears, her body stiff and tight. Her eyes not meeting his were bright and she was, lastly but most importantly, completely full of shit with this whole act.

He wanted to laugh.

He didn’t.

He also wanted to kiss her.

Something else he didn’t do.

Instead, he said softly, “Darling, look at me.”

Her gaze came to his face but not to his eyes.

“Look at me, Abby,” he repeated.

He watched her teeth clench then her eyes lifted to his.

When their eyes caught, he asked, “Are you finished?”

She bit her lip, he felt his own lips twitch then she nodded and said, “I think so.”

“Good, I’m talking now,” he declared.

Her eyes went funny, guarded and surprised and something else, something he couldn’t read.

“Oh… kay,” she replied hesitantly.

Cash didn’t delay.

“I’m in love with you,” he announced and her mouth dropped open but he went on. “We’re not over. We’re never going to be over. There isn’t going to be an end. This is it, you and me, in Penmort, you wearing diamonds and silk and having coffee delivered to our bedroom every morning.”

“Cash –” she whispered, eyes wide, face pale, expressions clashing between shock and awe.

“I’m not done,” Cash stated and pressed on, “I know you still love Ben. I’m not going to pretend I like it but I will try to live with it.”

“Cash –”

“Abby, stop interrupting me.”

“Okay,” she whispered and he felt her body start to soften in his arms and he knew he was getting somewhere.

“You were right last night, it’s early. We’ll take some time, learn more about each other. Not much but we’ll do it. Then we’ll get married, have children and live happily ever after, if you don’t annoy me too much.” She gasped but he ignored it and continued. “I’ve spoken to Nicola this morning and she and her daughters are going to give us a few months. They’ll stay in Bath then move back here. I’m sure you’ll agree they’ll be welcome here for as long as they wish to stay.”

“Of course,” Abby mumbled.

Cash kept going. “I want you to know I’m not only fine with you becoming more attached to me, I want it and you’re going to give it to me. I want you so attached you can’t imagine a life without me. I don’t give a f**k if that’s selfish, that’s what I want because, Abby, you must know, I already can’t imagine life without you.”

He stopped talking and watched as the brightness in her eyes became wetness shimmering at their edges. One tear dropped to her cheek and slid down her face.

Cash watched its progress.

Finally she whispered, “Are you done?”

Cash’s eyes went from her lone tear back to hers.

“Yes,” he replied.

She was still whispering, nearly breathless, when she asked, “Are you sure, about what you said?”

“Yes,” he answered instantly.

“I thought –” Her breath caught audibly, it sounded painful and Cash drew her yielding body closer, tucking her deep into the protective fold of his arms as another tear slid down her cheek. She sucked in air, her hands coming up to rest on his chest and with visible effort she continued. “I thought it was stupid to hope.”