Owning Violet (The Fowler Sisters #1)(67)

“Still mourning the loss of Zachary?” Lily makes a face.

Will I sound like a complete slut if I admit to my sister that I screwed another man only days after breaking up with my long-term boyfriend? And that his seeming rejection after the hottest sex of my life hurts far worse than my breakup with Zachary? My life has turned into a freaking soap opera. I feel like I’m completely unraveling and no one will be able to put me back together.

Save, possibly, for Ryder McKay.

Yeah. I sound like a total slut, wanting a man I barely know, who f*cks me until I can’t see straight, then leaves with barely a word. But I’d do it all over again in a second.

Seriously. What is wrong with me?

“It’s not Zachary,” I admit, catching Lily’s wholehearted attention. “I … I messed around with another guy Friday night and it ended badly.”

“What? As in you didn’t have an orgasm? Be glad you got rid of him.” Lily waves a hand, dismissing him.

“Oh, I had one.” My cheeks heat. I don’t talk about orgasms with my sisters. I didn’t talk about them with anyone until I met Ryder. “But he got weird on me and left.”

“One-night stand?” Lily shakes her head and makes a tsking noise. “Welcome to my world.”

I knew I shouldn’t have talked about Ryder with her. She wouldn’t understand. I don’t understand either, so how can I expect her to?

“Work has been stressful, too,” I say, gladly changing the subject. “Putting together the packaging for my makeup line has been taking up all of my time.”

“Right. Seeing that sexy guy who’s heading the project up is such a hardship,” Lily says casually, smiling at the waiter as he brings us the shrimp appetizer she ordered.

And we’ve somehow circled back to Ryder. “He’s all right,” I say with a shrug, not wanting to give myself away.

“He’s more than all right—I think Violet’s doing him.” Rose appears at our table out of nowhere, wearing a giant grin that I want to smear right off her face. She settles into the chair next to mine and nudges my shoulder with hers. “Tell me you’re having a torrid affair with Ryder McKay. Let me live through you.”

“Wait a minute.” Lily gapes at me. “Is he the guy you were referring to?”

My cheeks feel like they’re on fire. “I don’t want to talk about it,” I mumble.

“We’re definitely talking about it. You just got a lot more interesting,” Lily says, reminding me yet again that I’m the boring, dutiful sister while she’s the wild child constantly in trouble.

“Supposedly Ryder and Zachary are fighting over her,” Rose says gleefully. “And at the collaboration party a few nights ago, they messed around in a closet and Zachary caught them. She told me so herself.”

Lily reaches across the tiny table and shoves at my shoulder. I flinch away from her with a muttered “ow,” rubbing at my arm. I had no idea she’s so strong. “Are you freaking serious? I was there with you that night! And you were out getting busy in a closet with some hot guy? Sounds more like something I’d do, not you, Violet.”

If I could evaporate into a misty cloud right this minute I would do so, I’m so embarrassed. “It was nothing.” Those three words are becoming my standard answer for what’s happening between Ryder and me. Especially after Friday night. Talk about nothing. He dismissed me as if I didn’t matter.

So why did that moment against the door feel like everything?

My phone sounds from within my purse and I reach for it, pulling it out to check for messages, new emails, whatever. Anything to change the direction of our conversation. But Rose is still chattering on about how hot Ryder is and Lily is eating up every word she says with rapt fascination. I think I’ve shocked them.

I know I’ve shocked myself, so I guess I shouldn’t be surprised.

What surprises me even more? That I have a text from the very man my sisters are talking about.

I’m an *.

He’s certainly correct about that.

Yes, I type. You definitely are.

I hit SEND and wait for his answer, which is immediate.

I hate what happened Friday night.

Regret sinks in my stomach like a stone.

I shouldn’t have left you like that.

And just like that, a glimmer of hope fills me.

No regrets. We’re just using each other, remember?

The words look a lot harsher than they sounded a few days ago.

“Who are you texting?” Lily asks.

“No one important,” I mumble, cupping my hands around my phone so Rose can’t see. Not that she cares. She’s too busy chattering on about Ryder.

It doesn’t feel like that anymore. At least to me.

I stare at his words, dumbfounded. How do I reply without having it thrown back in my face? I say or do the wrong thing and he runs. Look at how he reacted after we had sex! He acted like being with me was the absolute last thing he wanted to do. I finally respond.

I don’t know what it feels like. All I know is that I’m confused.

Confused about what?

You. And me.

What are you doing right now?

Having lunch with my sisters.

I want to see you.

Now?

Yeah. I need to make up for what I did to you.