Owning Violet (The Fowler Sisters #1)(51)

Dread settles in my stomach, and I prop my elbows on my desk and cover my face with my hands. “Where did you hear that?” I ask, my voice muffled against my palms. It is far too early to deal with something like this. Of course, I’ve been dealing with it since the moment Ryder dragged me into that closet last night. Not that I fought him. Oh, no.

I went willingly and with no regret.

The things I said to him, the way he touched me, how he demanded I suck his fingers … my skin tingles just thinking about it. And that orgasm—it shook me to my very core. My legs were wobbly the rest of the night.

Needless to say, the moment in the closet and the argument afterward led to a restless—and unfortunately sleepless—night.

Rose settles into the seat across from my desk, looking far too chipper for me this morning. I wish I could hide, but if I can’t deal with my sister, then who can I face? “The Fleur gossip mill is in full force today. You’re the main topic of the morning. Well, you, Zachary, and Ryder. They’re calling it a love triangle.”

I drop my hands with a groan and slap them on top of my desk. “A love triangle? God. What exactly are they saying?”

“You sure you want to hear it?” The concern that crosses my sister’s face surprises me. How bad is the gossip?

It can’t be any worse than the truth.

“Tell me,” I urge her, needing to know despite the worry that fills me.

“All right.” Rose sighs and perches on the edge of the chair. “They’re saying that Ryder and Zachary went at it after Zachary caught you and Ryder together, that you and Ryder were messing around in a closet. During the party. That they fought over you and you interrupted them, demanding they stop. That Ryder touched your neck and you let him and the two of you were making eyes at each other in front of Zachary even though you seemed pissed at the both of them at first.” She ticks off each item like she’s reading from a list. A really sordid, soap-opera-making list.

I swallow hard. “Is that all?” Crap, the gossip is scarily accurate.

“Yep.” Rose nods with a little smile. She looks like she’s almost … enjoying this? My sister is twisted. Both of them are. “So is it true? You were fooling around with Ryder McKay in a closet? What exactly were you doing in there with him, anyway?” She actually winks at me.

“It was nothing,” I say dismissively, hoping Rose won’t pursue it.

“Please. You don’t go into a dark closet with a gorgeous man like Ryder and nothing happens.” Rose studies me with her usual penetrating gaze, the smile falling from her face. “Did you do him?”

“No.” My cheeks heat and I curse yet again my tendency to blush. It’s so embarrassing. Besides, I’m telling the truth. I didn’t “do” him. He just got me off with his fingers.

Not like I can say that to Rose, though.

“Uh-huh.” She doesn’t believe me. Whatever. “Are you two seeing each other or what?”

“Not exactly …” My voice drifts and I frown. We were supposed to keep this secret and already people are talking about us. This is so not good.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“There’s no way of defining what’s happening between Ryder and me,” I say airily. “So let’s just drop this conversation.”

“The very last thing I want to do is drop this conversation. This is the most fascinating thing that’s happened to you in a long time.” The grin that reappears on Rose’s face seems as if it can’t be contained. “You’re f*cking Ryder McKay, aren’t you?”

“Rose!” I level her with the sternest look I can muster. Does she have to be so blunt? “Don’t say such things.”

“Why, because I’m cutting too close to the truth? My God, you just broke up with Zachary only a few days ago and now you’re screwing around with Ryder. I’m so proud of you!”

“Proud of me?” I’m incredulous. More than anything, I’m embarrassed by this entire situation. I thought I had it in me to have a quick little affair. Ryder has always intrigued me, made me curious, and once Zachary and I were finished, I figured, what was the harm?

But a few stolen moments with him and I felt like I was in over my head. More like I know I’m in over my head. And the way we ended it last night …

I’m pretty sure we’re finished before we’d hardly begun.

“You’re taking charge of your life for once. I know you do it professionally, and that you’ve really come into your own here at Fleur over the last few years, but personally? You’ve let Zachary walk all over you.” I open my mouth to protest, but Rose points her finger at me. “Don’t deny it. You know it’s true. He called all the shots and you let him.”

I clamp my lips shut. She’s right. I let Zachary take over our relationship completely. I was the meek little woman standing by her man. I thought it was what I should do, but I ended up letting Zachary take away whatever power I had left in me. So many things had happened to me that I didn’t want to deal with, it was just easier to hand over the reins rather than take control.

Being with Ryder, sneaking around with him … he invigorates me. Fills me with a sense of self I don’t remember ever having. Even after being so angry with him and Zachary over their pissing contest concerning me last night, I still don’t regret what happened between us.