Owning Violet (The Fowler Sisters #1)(105)

“Stop with the ‘baby’ crap.” She steps around me and I grab her arm to stop her, but she shakes out of my grip. “You used me. Just like you always told me. I should’ve known better than to fall for your lies. I knew I would get hurt. I knew it.”

“Please, Violet …” She’s slipping on her shoes and she’s going to walk right out of my life. I can’t f*cking stand it.

“Did Pilar put you up to this? Does she get a little thrill out of watching her little boyfriend f*ck around with the boss’s daughter while she’s screwing the boss? What the hell is wrong with you two and your games? You two are so twisted, you deserve each other.” She stalks out of my bedroom and I chase after her, ignoring the hurt that courses through me at her words, ignoring the fact that I’m naked and chasing a woman as she tries to make her escape.

I have never in my life done something like this. Ever. Only for Violet would I make such an ass of myself. The realization that I would do anything to protect this woman steals the very breath from me.

She handed me her body. Her trust. Soon it would be her heart and I would break that into tiny little shards. I don’t think I could love. I have sex. I use women. I enjoy them. But love? Not a part of my personality. Not a remote possibility until I met her.

I’m destroying her. All starting with a cruelly intentional text from Pilar.

“Don’t leave like this.” I stop in the living room, watching as she gathers her purse. My heart pounds so hard I can feel the erratic throb in my throat, and I swallow past the fear and fury that rises within me.

Though I’m not furious at her—I’m furious at myself over how this is going down. Maybe I shouldn’t have let this thing between us go on this long. What started out as a trick, as a way to get revenge against Lawrence, turned into something more.

Turned into something … real.

“You really expect me to stay?” she asks incredulously. “I’ve been used enough by Zachary. I’m not going to let you do the same.”

“It’s not like that anymore …”

She laughs, but the sound is harsh. Hard. “It’s never been real, what’s happening between us, right? Isn’t that what you really mean? You used me and I used you. You were the distraction I needed to help me get over Zachary.” She pauses, and I hate that she brought that f*cker’s name up. “You can’t go any deeper with me. You’ve told me over and over you’re incapable of it. Scratch your surface and I’ll find you’re hollow inside. Heartless.”

The truth f*cking hurts, so I say nothing. There’s no point in arguing.

“You’re not going to say anything?” she asks.

I remain silent, standing in my living room naked with my heart in my hands. Hell, my heart is in her hands and she’s stomping all over it. I deserve it.

Her gaze meets mine, never wavering once. “Who are you? Did I ever know the real you, Ryder?”

Yes. You’re the only one I was ever real with. But I f*cked it up. Fucked it up royally and now you’re gone. You may be standing in front of me, but you’re long, long gone.

I shrug in answer.

She storms toward me, her gorgeous face screwed up in anger, disbelief, and pain. So much damn pain. “Fuck you,” she whispers just before she rears back and slaps me across the face. The sound of her palm when it meets my cheek is like a loud crack in the silence of the room.

I rest my hand against my stinging cheek and watch her go to the door. Swear I hear a sob, the sound faint but filled with so much hurt my chest aches. She opens the door and slams it so hard everything seems to reverberate within my shitty apartment.

Violet’s gone. She exited my life as fast as she entered it.

And I’m forever changed because of her.

Chapter Thirty-one

Violet

Tonight, my life is going to change.

I had this thought once before, that fateful evening when I went to dinner with Zachary expecting one thing and received something else instead. At first, I’d been devastated by Zachary’s news that he was leaving me. Disturbed by Ryder’s sudden interest in me and irritated by Pilar’s overbearing interest in Zachary.

It’s all come full circle. I’m back at square one. Zachary and I broke up and somehow I’m back with him. Sort of.

Not really.

Ryder entered my life like a tornado, destroying everything within me in a matter of days, weeks, before he spun right out like it was nothing. Like he was nothing.

More like I was nothing to him.

But he was everything, at least to me. He used me to get back at Zachary, and the idea of it still stings tremendously. I thought he’d started to care … but he was still in contact with Pilar. Still wanting to be with her for whatever sick, twisted reason.

Ryder tricked me. He didn’t go after me because he was attracted to me. He wanted to hurt me. Use me. And he did, most thoroughly. Worse, I wanted to be used by him. I miss him, which is so incredibly dumb, but …

I can’t help it.

Now he’s gone. I banished him from my life. I walked out of his apartment that horrible night and never once looked back. He left for London the next evening on a red-eye flight after being called to a very important—and secretive—meeting. A three-day meeting that also involved my father at one point. Zachary is sure there’s some sort of sabotage going on in England despite my constant reassurances that he’s overreacting, because yes, I’m still talking to him even though I shouldn’t be.