Owned by Fate (Serve #1)(50)

She nodded, exiting her side of the cab as Jonah asked the driver to wait for him. When they entered the elevator and he watched Caroline press the button for the third floor, with what could only be described as a considerable effort, Jonah bit back a curse. Christ, had being with him really done this to her? Guilt swamped him, dense and unforgiving. Without questioning the wisdom of his actions, he swept her up into his arms. Immediately, she curled into him, head tucking into his neck, fitting into him like a missing puzzle piece. He swore he heard her moan but decided it had to be his imagination.

The elevator doors parted. “Which apartment?”

“Take a right. Last door at the end.”

Jonah strode toward her door as Caroline dug through her purse for keys. He walked them inside, not pausing to look around, knowing it would only be harder the longer he stayed. The further glimpse into her personality was something he couldn’t afford when he needed to focus on the impossible task of leaving her. Reluctantly, he set her down on the kitchen table and stepped back. They stared at each other for long moments, both seemingly at a loss for what to say. Jonah knew he should be walking toward the door, but his feet wouldn’t move. Leaving her looking so broken would be the hardest thing he’d ever done.

You did this to her.

“Jonah—”

“Tell me you’re going to be all right,” he interrupted quietly. “It’s the only way I’ll be able to leave.”

Caroline bit her lip and glanced away. “I’ll be all right.”

Jonah’s head fell forward. “Could you please try and be more convincing?”

They were quiet a moment, until she spoke haltingly. “I wanted to say, you were amazing today with Gabby. She loved you. You’re going to do the best job. The best.”

The knot in his throat tightened. “I owe the chance I’m getting to you. You’ll never know how much I appreciate what you did today.”

She nodded, and even the simple movement seemed to unbalance her on the table. “You’re welcome.”

“Jesus, Caroline.” He shot forward to steady her. “When was the last time you slept?”

She started to speak, then appeared to change her mind about what she wanted to say. “It’s just this story I’m working on…around the clock, you know?”

Her exhaustion made her a bad liar, but he didn’t call her on it. Instead, he damned himself further by bracing his arms on either side of her in case she lost her balance again. At least, that’s what he told himself. Deep down he knew he just wanted to stay close to her as long as possible. Fresh laundry scent and his woman filled his nose, imprinting on his brain to haunt him indefinitely in his dreams. He expected her to stiffen and ask him to leave, remind him she’d fulfilled her end of the bargain. Instead, she swayed toward him, her forehead coming to rest on his chest. Slowly, his arms rose unbidden to surround her.

“Oh God,” she whispered. “I didn’t realize this would be so hard.”

Jonah closed his eyes. He knew exactly what she meant, even if her words were unexpected and slightly confusing. Apparently even she couldn’t deny the attraction or their bond, but she still knew what had to be done. Knew it had to end now, before someone found out about them and her reputation was ruined. He’d pursued her, then let their association go on too long. Now she would suffer for it. In turn, he would suffer tenfold knowing he’d left her worse off than he’d found her. Aching for something she didn’t understand.

“It will get easier.”

Her breath hitched. “Will it?”

“Yes,” he answered with a certainty he didn’t feel. “I have to go now, Caroline.” Or I never will.

Jonah felt a shudder pass through her. “I know I don’t have the right to ask you this, but…will you stay until I fall asleep?”

His heart pounded harder and harder in his chest until he thought it might burst through his rib cage. He shouldn’t do it. It would only make ending this harder on them both, but the desire to hold her, to leave with the knowledge of what it felt like to hold this woman in her bed, couldn’t be denied. He also knew the feeling would torture him for life.

Eyes wide open, Jonah walked the plank. “Of course. I’ll stay for a while.” Once again, he lifted Caroline and cradled her against his chest. He correctly guessed which door led to her bedroom and went inside, laying her down gently on the white bedspread before losing the battle to avoid looking around. Jonah nearly laughed at the contrast between Caroline’s and his own bedroom. He had no place in the fresh innocence surrounding him. Where he had hard, flat surfaces and colorless furniture, Caroline’s room was a rainbow of colors. Framed classic movie posters and Columbia pennants. Gauzy light blue curtains blew forward in front of an open window. Not a spreader bar in sight.

She watched him from her reclined position on the bed. “Not what you expected?”

Jonah shrugged. “I never expected to see the inside of your bedroom.”

His honesty seemed to upset her greatly, a reaction he couldn’t interpret, but when she began to remove her shoes, all rational thought faded to the background. He’d only planned to hold her, but he now realized how silly that assumption had been. She tossed her high heels onto the floor and stretched her bare legs out on the bed, skirt riding up her toned thighs. Her breasts strained against the buttons of her shirt as she removed her blazer. Her movements were guileless, and that somehow made them more seductive. Jonah swallowed a groan as his cock stiffened. Having her one final time would be a gift and a curse for them both. Leaving now would be the right thing to do, but at that moment, walking away felt like a feat of which he wasn’t capable. Her delicate state called to the protector inside him, the part of him that craved a chance to take care of her.