Owned by Fate (Serve #1)(28)

Unable to hold himself up any longer, he fell on top of Caroline, their mouths fitting together between gasps of breath. He withdrew from her gently but made no move to leave his position over her. It felt right. He wanted to stay there as long as possible, watching her recover from what they’d done. When her stunned gaze slipped from his, he felt a sense of dread creep into his chest. They hadn’t even fully caught their breath, and she’d already retreated back into her own headspace. He’d seen this eventuality coming, but his foresight didn’t make it any easier to witness. She’d given him temporary ownership of her body, but her mind had clearly remained her own.

“Look at me,” he commanded. Then softer, “Stay with me, Caroline.”

Hesitantly, her green eyes, brimming with conflict, met his. “I can’t. You know I can’t.”

“I know you won’t.”

She shook her head miserably. “Same thing.”

“No. It’s not.” Swallowing the knot in his throat, he swept his lips over hers. “It’s okay to love what we did here.”

“No,” she choked out. “That wasn’t me. I don’t…want to question myself. That only ever happens around you.”

When she rolled out from under him, Jonah had to clench his fist on the comforter to prevent himself from reaching for her. “You don’t think I question myself, too? Wanting a girl who thinks I’m sleazy or that I have some incurable sickness?” He sighed when she left the room, no doubt to retrieve her dress where she’d left it in the guest room. Against his better judgment, he rose and followed her, calling himself a masochist the entire way. Ironic, that. He found her zipping up the dress, stepping into her heels. “Sweetheart—”

“Oh, God, please stop calling me that.” He swallowed hard but remained silent. “I know what you’re thinking. That I don’t know my own mind. That I say one thing and do another. You’re right. About all of it. That’s why I’m leaving. That’s why I won’t come back.”

“Explain.”

She heaved a breath toward the ceiling in a mannerism he’d already come to associate with her. “Where does this end? With me getting flogged in front of an audience?”

“Never.”

His vehemence appeared to take her aback for a moment. “It’s a slippery slope, that’s all I’m trying to say.”

He shook his head. “You’re above clichés, Caroline. We’re above them.”

“Jonah…” He saw her consider being honest with him for a moment. Just a flash and it was gone, but it was enough to tell him something more complex lingered behind her panicked explanation as she searched for an excuse to fill the void her honesty had left behind. “I can’t be associated with you. It would be bad for my career. Bad for me personally.” She raised her hand and let it drop. “You brought me here tonight to enlighten me, but one night doesn’t make it something I could consider permanently. Or condone publicly.”

He ignored the second part, knowing she’d said it to push him further away. All he knew was she would leave in a minute, and it felt so infinitely wrong, he couldn’t get his head around it. “We weren’t meant to be limited to one night.” His gaze held hers. “Admit that much. Admit that what’s between us isn’t about some f*cking article.”

Her lips parted on a shaky exhale, and Jonah felt arousal flood his belly. A wave of self-disgust followed. For wanting her, even as she stood there explaining why he wasn’t good enough. “If I admitted it, it still wouldn’t change anything. I can’t continue to do these things with you and still respect myself.” Before he could respond to that hurtful statement, she picked up her purse from the floor and swept past him, giving him a wide berth.

“Stop.” His command brought her up short in the doorway. “I’m walking you out.”

“That’s completely unnecessary.”

Jonah closed the distance between them, tilting her chin up and getting right in her face. Awareness shone hotly in her eyes, and he wanted to curse it. It proved he could have her again, but it would only prolong the inevitable. “If you think I’m going to let you walk through my club looking like you’ve been ridden hard and put up wet, you’re about to be terribly disappointed.”

Indignant color rose in her cheeks, but wisely she didn’t argue. “Fine,” she snapped. “Since you put it so nicely.”

They rode the elevator in silence, although her nipples straining against her dress and the rapid rise and fall of her chest told Jonah she still desired him. It was the worst kind of torture imaginable when the temptation to f*ck her until she relented sang loudly in his head. He waved forward one of the black town cars idling outside Serve and waited until it disappeared from sight, wishing like hell she hadn’t turned around to watch him as it drove away.





Chapter Ten


The article she’d written about Serve was live.

Caroline stared at her computer screen, watching the Preston’s website log hit after hit. Hundreds of comments turned into thousands as she sat there, people reading her feature from the comfort of their own desks, probably horrified as they read about Serve.

While she sat there feeling hollow.

Last night, she’d come home knowing if she didn’t write the article and publish it on the website the same night, she never would. Every word of the article was true, she’d managed that much. Kept her journalistic integrity intact at the very least. The way she’d managed it? She hadn’t mentioned Jonah. Not once. If she had, the article would have been entirely different. Her distaste wouldn’t have shown through and it would have been softer. Less objective. Essentially, she’d written what she’d observed inside the club’s four walls in an uncharacteristically toneless piece that would likely hurt Jonah. If not his feelings, his image. An image that mattered when you were trying to get visitation with your daughter.