Overcoming Fear (Growing Pains #2)(98)

“You are so beautiful it makes my mouth water. I couldn’t keep my eyes off you at that pool party today. It was pissing off my groupies. And yours.”

“If I wasn’t surrounded by a pubescent sausage fest every time I sat down I would have gawked at you, too. Living in the bog land I don’t get to see you enough when you’re naked.”

“We can fix that.”

“But, in public. Up close is good, but from a distance is nice, too.”

“Then we’ll have to take a few weekends away, won’t we?” Sean said as he wrapped a towel around himself and looked at her with his perfect smile.

They headed to the room, neither slow nor fast, but as they got closer suddenly Krista got nervous. She wondered if the sex ban was still in effect. She kind of hoped it was just because it was what she knew. It had been a while since she’d had sex, and even though they had done everything but, she was still questioning her prowess. She was also questioning letting herself lose control. She had always had free abandon with sexual matters--it felt better when you surrendered to it—but that went very wrong with Jim, and she was nervous she might get some dark spots with Sean.

They reached the room, got inside, and Sean immediately wrapped her in his arms. He wasn’t being the passionate man from downstairs. His tune had changed. She backed off to see why.

“Are you okay?” Sean asked quietly.

She could see he was worried. She didn’t know if he was reacting to her cues, or having some of his own. They were two messed-up individuals.

“With you, yeah. I’m just... I’ve had some bad experiences—as you know. I’m just a little worried I might crack up when I try to... I don’t know... let go, you know? I’m just scared I might freak out. A little. And that’s not fair to you.”

“But we’ve been together quite a few times and you’ve been okay. I mean, except for my episodes.”

“Yes, but I had to stay in control to make sure we didn’t lapse into sex.”

“We can still keep that rule if that’s what it takes.”

“Terrible idea.”

Sean laughed as he led her into the bathroom, kissed her head tenderly, and took off her towel and his. He turned on the shower and then turned back to her. “Let’s have a relaxing shower, get the chlorine off us, and see how we feel.”

“Okay Dr. Ruth.”

Sean just smiled. “You’ve... this might seem indelicate of me, but you’ve had sex after your ex, right?”

“Yeah, I have. You remember Paul...”

“Hmm,” that sound had a little animosity in it.

“But I...okay, this is going to sound really shallow, but a bunch of the time with Paul I was imagining myself with you.” Krista started to fidget. “But I never really let myself lose control because...well...he wasn’t all that inspiring, I guess you could say.”

As the bathroom steamed up, Krista kept her focus on the shower in utter embarrassment. When the silence lengthened, she peeked at Sean from under her eyelashes. His smile was one of triumph.

“Oh, don’t go getting your ego all huge or anything!” she said to him as she looked away again.

“I was so jealous the night of the wine dinner. When he was waiting for you.” Sean gently removed her bathing suit top. He focused on her br**sts for a moment before he looked back up and met her eyes. The corners of his mouth curved into a delicate smile.

“Jealous for all of two seconds until you had your friend naked?” Krista countered.

“Everyone else was getting some, why am I the only one pointed out?”

“Because it was with her.”

Sean just shrugged as he bent down to strip off her bottoms. She steadied herself on his big shoulder and watched his back coil and relax as he moved. It occurred to her that he was treating her like a patient. He had his kid gloves on and was handling her with care. She didn’t need this slow treatment to get herself back on track, but it touched her, so she went with it.

“She lost at her own game,” he said as he stripped off his trunks. He was still hard, his size was just shy of daunting. His desire was smoldering under a tight cap. He would stay in control until he was sure she was ready. It was exciting and touching and endearing all at the same time.

“I just can’t believe no one else got you already,” Krista said slowly, leaning into his body. “How did I get so lucky?”

“You were the only one in a long time who not only saw past my bullshit, but called me on it. And while I would love to kill your ex for what he did to you, I do have to thank him for screwing up royally so you would leave and find me. Then beat me into submission!” Sean was smiling and kissed her lightly on the lips, not letting her deepen the kiss. Instead he backed off and shooed her into the shower.

Rivulets of steam were rising off of the water. Krista got under the warm spray and sighed in satisfaction. You just couldn’t beat a hot shower. Sean came in after her and put his arms around her, half to get close, half to get in the water.

“Do you have shampoo and conditioner?” he asked.

“I actually forgot it. The hotel does, though.”

He nodded, looked around and not seeing it, ducked out of the shower and was quickly back in with goose pimples from the change in temperature. Krista took the bottles and let him get solidly in the water. His erection had started to recede so she ran her hand up and down his chest lightly. That was all it took.