Overcoming Fear (Growing Pains #2)(58)

Hindsight was a bitch.

Trying not to regret her sudden decision to be a responsible grownup, Krista laid her body on top of his once again. Taking his hands out of illegal places, she backed off the pace, slowly put one silky thigh between his tense legs. lightly pulsing with her abdomen. She gave him just enough pressure to please, but not so much that he would fly off the handle again. She also made sure his flexed leg stayed against her apex.

Sean kissed her soundly, his tongue taking over her mouth, thrusting in and out in a measured representation of sex. He pushed his raging hard-on against her as his hands roamed over her br**sts; kneading, teasing.

Oh holy lord, Krista was in ecstasy. This was everything she thought it could be. Her body was burning up, dying for him to take her. She wanted those powerful legs to spread her open and show her what he was made of.

If Krista wasn’t absolutely crazy about him, and worried what would happen if they broke the sex rule, she would ignore the warning siren and go full steam ahead. But she didn’t want a lifetime of the last couple of weeks. One ten-minute period of lady-blue-balls was worth it if he would hang around.

She cursed under her breath, then said, “Slowly.” But you will pay for this!

He slowed with a muttered “okay.” She put as much of her chest on him as possible, which was only one boob, and thought about giving him a handjob. After all, virgins were more willing to give than to receive, which meant girls were dumb. But then, it turned out twenty-year-olds were dumb, too, because look at her now.

Clearing her head, Krista put her hand on his erection and slowly, but firmly, stroked through the fabric. She moved her body with the same rhythm, then got her tongue working in his mouth in unison. His response was as immediate as it was resplendent. At least to her ego, anyway. He sucked in a breath, his eyes rolled back in his head, and he let out a moan of glory. His arm convulsed to bring her in closer as he kneaded her breast, all his focus on her hand.

Apparently she had the snake stroke down.

Krista, unselfishly, focused all her thoughts away from her wet groin and onto Sean’s pleasure. She moved her body freely up to a point. She didn’t go overboard. She didn’t go mindless. She kept logic around to look over the proceedings, which was never as good for her or the people she was with, but in this situation, she didn’t have much choice.

It didn’t seem to matter—Sean was gone-zo.

“Is this okay?” she asked quietly. She almost didn’t recognize the husky voice as her own.

“I love you, Krista,” he answered.

Krista froze. If it was too soon for sex, which she didn’t agree with, it was certainly too soon for an emotion even half as serious, which she did. Something wasn’t right with Sean. Not right at all!

Problem was she didn’t know what to do. Physical warfare she was used to, unfortunately, but emotional warfare was beyond her. Jim was lacking in anything that had to do with empathy. His only emotions were possession, desire and anger, all revolving around sadism. None of those were any good here.

Thank God.

Still, whatever was happening was not good for Sean. With uncertainty leading to fear bleeding through her and jamming up her logical brain, she limply let him roll over on top of her. He settled between her legs and took himself out of his boxer-briefs.

Oh lord he was big. And hard. So, so ready.

Krista bit her lip. She wanted this so bad. For months she’d wanted this. Months and months. She’d fantasized about it for over a year! And now she had to say no. Why was her life in San Francisco so totally messed up?

“No, Sean,” she said as she regretfully pushed him back.

He didn’t move. Nor did he notice her trying to stop him. Instead, he slipped a finger into her, preparing her for insertion. With horror, she realized he was already wearing a condom. While she was getting her thoughts together, he was getting ready. He was quicker. Time had run out.

As he bumped against her opening, she moaned despite herself, guiltily letting his finger work for a second longer, feeling the sensation unfold in her body, expanding to fill every inch. Dangerously close to regret, she yelled, “Sean, no!”

He stopped his movement and looked at her with slightly unfocused eyes. Krista could see the hunger raging. Also a weird, maniacal light. It was passion so intense it was bordering on desperation. Unbalanced passion, though. Despairing passion that bubbled up from his soul, begging for unconditional love and forcing the need onto her.

Thank you, Dr. Phil! She pushed at him harder, trying to get him to sit up.

Speaking of Dr. Phil, for a wonder, she wasn’t scared. Or worried. Or going through memory paralysis of any kind. It was a blessing that she didn’t have time to explore.

She needed to get Sean to snap out of it, but she didn’t know how. The only thing she could think of was chasing away all passion. Getting back to sanityville. Because if she didn’t, she had no doubt she would lose him. She didn’t know why, or how she knew, but she was certain of that fact. This was his deal-breaker. The Out To Lunch sign hanging around his neck was the situation he wanted to avoid. It was the doorway to the end, as Sean had said earlier.

Feeling that blunt tip barely part flesh, moaning at the same time as realizing all he had to do was thrust to fulfill her fantasies while crushing her dream, Krista summoned all her strength and gave another shove, rocking him up and back.

The jolt did it, causing his eyes to swing down and connect with her. Unfortunately, before Krista could talk him down rationally, he saw the fear on her face, and misinterpreted. He was off her in a flash, pulling her up to a sitting position and hugging her close.