Only Yours (Fool's Gold #5)(92)

Simon had said it didn’t matter and walked away.

Not seeing her was even more difficult than seeing her all the time, he realized. At least when he was with her, he could lose himself in her presence. He could inhale the scent of her body, listen to whatever she was talking about, argue with her, make her laugh, touch her. When they were alone, he could make love with her, losing himself in her passion and healing himself in the process.

She was a part of him and being without her was as painful as cutting off an arm.

But he knew he had to keep moving, to heal, to push himself and to concentrate on the financial rewards of leaving and the emotional rewards of staying single.

But he wanted more.

He left his hotel Saturday morning, more because he was restless than because he had somewhere he needed to be. A little boy from Guatemala with a malformed face had had his last surgery the previous day and would probably be cleared to go home at the end of next week. Kalinda was getting ready for her next surgery, but in the meantime was happy and healing.

Everyone he treated, the burn victims, those in accidents and those simply born with differences, were managed, fixed or in the process of getting back to normal. He had nothing to do.

He walked toward the center of town, not surprised to find the area by the park set up for yet another festival. Crowds filled the sidewalk and spilled into the closed streets. The smell of barbecue and caramel corn filled the air.

From what he could tell, Fool’s Gold had festivals nearly weekly in the summer. Someone had told him about the Fall Festival, which was before the Halloween Festival but after the End of Summer Festival.

He’d been told he couldn’t miss the Saturday Day of Giving in December, and that the Live Nativity was always fun because the animals were real and last year one of the goats had eaten Mary’s gloves and then thrown up over everyone.

As he wove through tourists, he imagined the mountains covered with snow and then couldn’t help picturing Montana’s face softened by the glow of candles.

He paused to buy a hot dog from a vendor and overheard two women talking about the new construction project.

“It’s going to be huge,” one was saying. “A big, fancy hotel and casino. Shops, too.”

“I heard there might be an outlet mall. I’d love that.”

“My Frank is applying with Janack Construction. We’ve heard they’re a good company to work for.”

“That’s what Julia told me when I was getting my hair done. That’ll be a boost to the economy.”

He eavesdropped as he ate, then finished his soda and dropped the can into a blue recycling bin. He was about to head back to the hotel when he heard a whisper of sound. The faintest of laughters, but unmistakable, even in the crowd.

He turned slowly, searching for the source. Then he saw her. Montana was with her sister Dakota. While Dakota sat on a bench, smiling, Montana held her niece in her arms, laughing as she spun her round and round.

The baby grinned and waved her arms, obviously delighted. The sun touched Montana’s face, making her more beautiful than usual.

Simon stood rooted in place, staring hungrily, a starving man within sight of a meal. He soaked in the sounds, the way she moved, the vision of her with a child.

His child, he thought fiercely. He wanted Montana holding his child. No. Their child.

Longing washed over him and stole his breath. The need to be with her, not just for a few hours or days, but always. The craving was greater than anything he’d ever known.

He turned slowly, looking at the people at the festival, the families who took their happiness for granted.

Even as he started to walk toward her, he stopped himself. He couldn’t. He just couldn’t. Would he really sacrifice all he was, all he had, for a fleeting dream of happiness?

While those words had worked in the past, today he rebelled against them, wanting to take on those who determined his fate. Suddenly suffocated by the crowd, he hurried back to the hotel. He needed answers, he thought grimly, and he only knew one way to get them.

MONTANA KNEW SHE’D PUT OFF the inevitable for long enough. It was time to confess all and take her punishment.

Finding Mayor Marsha was relatively easy. She was at the festival with Charity and her new great-granddaughter. Montana admired the baby and then asked Marsha if they could talk for a second.

“Of course.”

The mayor led the way to a bench, her sleeping great-granddaughter still in her arms.

When they sat down, Montana angled toward her. “I’m sorry,” she began. “I failed. Simon is leaving.”

“My dear girl, I’m far more concerned about you. I heard the two of you weren’t together anymore. How are you?”

“I’m getting by.” If one considered living with a hole the size of Utah in one’s heart “getting by.”

“I miss him.”

“You love him.”

“Yeah, well, that wasn’t part of the plan, was it? You asked me to help convince him to settle in Fool’s Gold. Falling in love was my own fault.”

“Love is rarely a bad thing. I’m sorry for my part. If I hadn’t thrown you two together, none of this would have happened.”

“Don’t say that,” Montana told her. “I’m not sorry. Simon is an amazing man. Maybe I won’t get my happy ending, but I have wonderful memories of my time with him. I really liked being with him and who I was around him. He helped me see that all the choices in my life have led me to where I am. To where I belong. I’m hurting, but I’ll heal.”