Only Vampires Cry Blood (Alexa O'Brien, Huntress #3)(38)

My heart dropped, and I was reminded that the bond between Arys and I had a direct impact on Shaz, too. He was the calm, cool and collected type. He preferred to approach things with an open mind and realistic attitude. Because he didn't give in to emotional outbursts the way Arys and I were both prone to doing, it was easy to miss how deeply it all affected him. He just didn't show it the same way.

I stretched out in my bed, watching appreciatively as he strode around the room in all of his fine, naked glory. Shaz was my stronghold in life. I heavily relied on him to keep me grounded, to touch the wolf inside me and draw me away from the darkness. Did he know that it was only because of him that I was still sane?

“You're the only thing that keeps me here, you know? I would have been lost long ago without you.” I gazed up at him from where I lay, wanting him to see the truth in my eyes. “I'd actually probably be dead without you.” I chuckled at that. It was sadly true.

Shaz raised an eyebrow. He held a pair of jeans forgotten in one hand. “Where did that come from?”

“Nowhere,” I shrugged and hugged my pillow. “I just wanted you to know. You're always so steady and strong. I know that I wouldn't be the same person that I am now without you.”

“You don't give yourself enough credit.” He slid his muscular legs into his jeans and came to sit next to me on the bed. “You're stronger than you think you are. I just help you to remember that, but it's all you.”

“No way,” I said, sitting up straighter in the bed. “Don't sell yourself short, babe. My strength has many sources, and you are one of them.”

He leaned in to nuzzle me gently before capturing my lips for a breath-taking kiss.

Why did he have to work a night job? I just wanted to drag him back into bed with me.

“Likewise,” he whispered against my lips. “Being with you has made me realize many things about myself. Like how strong I can be when the woman I love needs me. I'd do anything for you, Lex.”

“Like skip work?” I teased.

“Except that.” He kissed the tip of my nose, an affectionate gesture that made me giggle. “I do have news for you though. I told them I won't be working full time at Lucy's Lounge anymore. I'm going part time.”

“Really? What brought that on?”

“Well…you mostly. I'm sick of spending all of my nights trapped behind the bar while you're out there dealing with what’s actually important. We need more time together, as humans and as wolves.” He got up to fetch a Lucy's Lounge staff t-shirt from the bottom drawer of my dresser as the wheels in my brain began to turn.

He was right. I knew that without a doubt. I craved more wolf time and likely needed it if I wanted to keep the vampire-locked-within controllable. Shaz was here often. He was keeping clothes and personal supplies here already. Would it be a mistake to suggest that he just move in?

The house had belonged to Raoul. He'd welcomed both Shaz and I into his little town pack. Shaz had every right to move back in here, too. He'd once called it home. Why not?

While it seemed like the perfect plan, I feared rushing it. Those types of life changes should be considered carefully, and right before he had to walk out the door to work was clearly a shitty time to bring it up. I would though, when we had the right moment. It was a big house with more than enough room for both of us.

“I totally agree with you. I feel like I don't get enough of you. Having you by my side at that motel the other night felt so right. Natural.” It thrilled me to hear Shaz say he needed more of me. It was much needed reassurance to my battered ego.

The conflict with Arys had left me raw in places. Focusing my attention on what I was first and foremost, a werewolf, was important right now. Sure, I'd been born gifted as a human but nothing compared to the things I could do now. Turning my attention to the original predator in me felt good, just thinking about it. I was suddenly dying to go for a run.

“You and me both, baby.” Shaz slid the black t-shirt over his body, hiding his firm abs from view. His platinum hair was amazingly white in contrast. “I'll always have your back. And, with those jackasses at the motel sniffing around, more than ever I feel like it's time to make a change.”

“I adore you,” I said softly. Watching his eyes light up in response filled me with a warm glow.

Rising from the bed, I went to him wearing nothing but the silk sheet wrapped around me. He groaned, but it was accompanied by his sexy grin that I loved so much.

“You're making it really hard for me to care about getting to work on time. I'm supposed to open tonight.” He accepted me into his warm embrace, and I snuggled in close. Every time he held me like this, I wanted time to stop.

Before Shaz made it out the door to his car, he had a series of battles between his desire and the ticking clock. Promising that, on his first night away from Lucy's, we would shut the world out and just be, he kissed me with longing. When I shoved him out the door to work, he was already running five minutes late.

It was still early, barely suppertime. The sun had almost finished its descent in the western sky. A pale orange glow was all that remained along the horizon.

I couldn't shake the need to see Arys, to make him listen to me. After the way he'd spent his night, I was hoping he'd gotten it out of his system. Maybe he'd be more open to discussion. I had this nauseous twinge in the pit of my stomach that wouldn't go away until we dealt with this. The thought of ongoing conflict with him held a heaviness that weighed on my mind and my soul.