Only Mine (Fool's Gold #4)(90)

They were at Jo’s bar, with Project Runway playing on the big screen and HGTV on the smaller TVs. Denise had insisted Hannah spend the night, probably to give the sisters time to be alone. As the baby adored her grandmother, Dakota wasn’t worried about her daughter.

“It’s a big thing, finding out about the baby,” Montana said carefully, as if expecting Dakota to blow up at her.

“I know that.”

“He probably needs a little time. You needed time.”

“I was willing to give him time,” she said, doing her best not to clench her teeth as she clutched her glass of cranberry juice. “This isn’t a time thing. He left. It’s the leaving I object to. He stayed in town after his brothers had moved on right up until I told him I loved him and that I was pregnant. That’s when he walked out. Left for Alaska that night. No call, nothing.”

She’d never been left before. Not like this. The closest feeling she had was when her dad had died. That, too, had been unexpected. There was no arguing, no bargaining. There was just absence and pain.

“It’s so like a guy to walk away,” Nevada said. “Now you know he’s that type.”

“What type?”

“He disappears rather than faces responsibility. He only cares about himself.”

Dakota shook her head. “That’s not fair. Finn doesn’t do that. He’s spent the past eight years raising his brothers. He had to give up everything to take care of them.”

“Look how that turned out,” Nevada muttered.

“What do you mean? They’re great guys.”

“One of them wants to be an actor and the other is dating a woman nearly twice his age.”

Dakota straightened. “That’s not true.”

“Sasha doesn’t want to be an actor? He didn’t move to L.A., abandoning his college education one semester from finishing?”

“Yes, but—”

Nevada shrugged. “You’re better off without him.”

“No, I’m not.” The unfair assessment startled her. “There’s nothing wrong with Sasha following his dream. Should he have finished college? Maybe. But he can go back later. It’s not going anywhere. As for Aurelia, she’s nine years older than Stephen, as you very well know. She’s sweet and they’re great together. Stephen is going back to college. He’s studying engineering, something you can relate to.”

She felt herself getting angry. “Where do you get off being so judgmental? Finn is a good man. He’s proven that over and over again. I don’t regret our relationship and I sure as hell don’t need you making unfounded comments about him and his brothers.”

Nevada picked up her drink and smiled. “Just checking.”

“Checking what?”

“To see if you’re still in there.”

Dakota opened her mouth, then closed it. “What does that mean?”

“You’re too accepting of this,” Montana said, leaning toward her. “You can’t be happy Finn left, but you’re all Zen about it. What’s up with that? Why didn’t you fight for what you wanted?”

“Fight? I can’t force him to want to be with me.”

“No, but there’s a whole ocean between doing nothing and forcing him.”

Nevada nodded. “Come on. When you wanted to get into that special grad program so you could get your masters and Ph.D. at the same time, did you just put in your application and wait? No. You pestered the department chair until he nearly put a restraining order out on you. When you needed a classroom of kids for your thesis research, you knocked on teachers’ doors for weeks until you found exactly what you were looking for, then you got her to agree.”

“When you found out you couldn’t have kids without help,” Montana added, “you put in your application for adoption, went through all the studies and home visits and adopted a kid. You do things, Dakota. You’re quiet about it and you don’t expect people to notice, but we do. You’ve always gotten things done. So why are you being so passive now?”

She felt both praised and scolded. “I’m not being passive. I’m giving Finn time to come to terms with what he wants to do.”

“What about what you want?” Nevada asked. “Isn’t that important?”

“Sure, but…”

“There are no buts,” Montana reminded her. “Remember what Yoda said? ‘Do or do not. There is no try.’”

“You can sit on your butt and wait for him to decide,” Nevada said. “Or you can take control of your destiny. I know you’re scared.”

“I’m not scared.”

They both stared at her, eyebrows raised in identical expressions of disbelief.

She sighed. “I’m a little scared,” she admitted. Confronting Finn did mean taking charge of her life, but it also meant facing the fact that he might tell her he just plain wasn’t interested. That she wasn’t for him.

She didn’t think he was going to walk away from his child. It might take him a while, but eventually he would show up and want to be a part of his or her life. Finn would be a great father, but was he interested in being a husband?

“I thought the people on the show were stupid,” she said slowly. “I thought they were desperate and that I should feel sorry for them. But they were simply looking to fall in love. Something nearly everyone wants. At least they did something about it. What have I done?”