Only Mine (Fool's Gold #4)(74)

“You can’t know that.”

Most of the time Sasha liked Lani. She was easy to get along with, and, because neither of them wanted to sleep with the other, there was none of that tension between them. It was like hanging out with his sister. If he had one.

But sometimes she really bugged him. Especially when she acted as if she knew everything about being on TV and he knew nothing. Maybe he hadn’t been to Los Angeles for pilot season, but that didn’t mean he didn’t read and talk to people. He’d studied a lot on the internet.

Lani rolled onto her stomach. Her long, dark, wavy hair brushed against the grass. She was beautiful and all, he thought. But not his type.

“I told you,” she said, her voice sounding smug. “I sent notices to all the best agents in L.A. Well, to their assistants. I suggested they watch us.”

He’d forgotten about that. “You don’t know that they’re watching.”

She rolled her eyes. “Don’t be so negative. You have to believe. You have to see what you want in every detail and then do the work to make it happen. That’s how we’re going to become stars. Do you think I like being on this stupid show? It’s a great concept, but Geoff’s a pain in the ass. He has no vision. But it gets me in front of people. It gets me seen. That’s why I’m here.”

Lani was so sure of herself, Sasha thought. She had a plan. All he had was a dream and the need to get out of South Salmon. That was the difference between them, he realized. Instead of complaining about her, he should learn from her.

“So what do we do now?” he asked.

“Close your eyes.”

He looked at her. “I don’t think so.”

She pushed up into a kneeling position. “I’m not going to do anything bad. Trust me. Now close your eyes and start breathing real deep. Like from the bottom of your stomach.”

He did as she instructed, leaning back against the bench and closing his eyes. He consciously slowed his breathing and felt himself start to relax.

“Okay. Now picture your dream house in L.A. It’s on the beach right?”

“Malibu,” he said with a smile, still keeping his eyes closed. “I can see the ocean.” What he could see was girls in bikinis, but he didn’t say that to Lani. “And I know how to visualize.”

“You know how to daydream,” she said. “There’s a difference.”

He wanted to push back but reminded himself she wasn’t playing at any of this.

“Okay,” he said, his eyes still closed. “Go on.”

“Now imagine your house has a deck and there are stairs down to the beach. Ten stairs. They’re wood. Your feet are bare. It’s warm and sunny. You can feel the railing in your hand and you can feel the wooden deck below your feet. There’s a light breeze.”

Sasha was surprised to realize he actually could feel the deck. The wood was smooth and warm from the sun. He could feel the loose sand under his toes. The light breeze she described blew against his face. He felt his hair move.

“Now imagine yourself walking down the stairs,” she said, her voice low and soothing. “You’re getting closer to the beach. You can smell the ocean and hear the sound of the surf. You can see people on the beach.” She laughed. “Let’s change that. You can see girls on the beach.”

“Maybe just a couple,” he said with a chuckle. “Okay. I’m walking down the stairs.”

“Go slow,” she said. “Imagine everything about it. The railing. Don’t forget that. You’re walking down and down. There’s only one more step and then you’ll be on the beach. So stop at the last step. Can you see yourself there?”

He nodded. He could see everything, and he could feel it, too. The moment was so real, he could taste salt on his lips.

“Now step onto the sand,” she said. “Feel the warm sand. It’s just the right temperature. Not too hot, but warm on top and cooler underneath. Three of the girls see you. They whisper to each other and then start running toward you. They know exactly who you are and they are so excited to meet you. Because you’re on their favorite show. One of them is holding a copy of People magazine. And you’re on the cover.”

Sasha grinned. Everything about it was real, right down to the picture of him on the magazine. With his eyes still closed, he squinted, then laughed. There it was, in bold print. Sexiest man alive.

He opened his eyes and looked at Lani. “That was great. How do you do that? I want to do it more.”

“You’re such a baby. Why aren’t you visualizing every day? It’s the best way to get what you want. Sure, you have to do the work, but this allows you to be in the right place at the right time. When you visualize and practice, you prepare yourself for success. I’ve been visualizing myself winning an Oscar since I was fourteen years old.”

She stood and walked over to the bench, then sat next to him. “I don’t know anyone in the business,” she told him. “I don’t have a lot of experience or friends I can ask. I’m doing this all on my own. This is how I make it real. This is how I get through the day. If you want it, Sasha, you have to believe in yourself. Most of the time no one else will believe in you.”

“I get it. I need to come up with what I want and then imagine it already happening.”