Only His (Fool's Gold #6)(43)

“Do I have to?” he asked. “I work with Will and we don’t talk about personal stuff.”

“Such guys. Talking about it helps.”

“How?”

“You can work out your issues.”

“If you don’t get involved with anyone, you don’t have issues in the first place.”

She narrowed her gaze. “That’s like saying you’re never going to eat again because you don’t want to risk food poisoning. Or is it Cat you’re trying to avoid?”

“I don’t need to avoid Cat. She’s out of my life.”

Nevada wheeled her chair around so she was staring at him. “Are you saying you haven’t been in a serious relationship since Cat?”

“No. Would you want to be with anyone after her?”

“But she wasn’t a regular person. She was more like a…” She paused, as if searching for the word.

“Drug,” he said flatly. “She took over my head and tried to suck the life out of me. No way I want to do that again.”

At the risk of getting too in touch with his feminine side, with Cat he’d lost who he was. He’d been her slave—emotionally and physically, which proved love made people into idiots. He’d been lucky to escape.

“That wasn’t love, it was obsession,” Nevada told him. “There’s a difference.”

“Maybe, but I’m not willing to take the chance.”

“A mature relationship would be totally different.”

He shook his head. “Your mother was in a mature relationship and look what happened there. Max wants to marry her and she wants to move out of town. Trust me, friendship and sex. That’s plenty.” Now it was his turn to look at her. “Do you want more than that?”

“That’s not the point,” she told him. “To say you’re not interested in falling in love—that’s just sad.”

“I believe in love itself,” he told her. “People love each other. But romantically, there are more pitfalls than it’s worth.”

He was sharing his opinion, but he was also warning her. While he wanted her, the rules needed to be clear. If she was expecting more, he wasn’t the guy for her.

Something he hadn’t fully considered, he realized. Both her sisters were engaged. Dakota was pregnant, had a kid she’d adopted. Talk about the dream of the white picket fence.

“You’re like them,” he said slowly, still getting hold of the truth and not liking it. “Your sisters.”

“I don’t know what you mean, but of course I’m like them. We’re identical. We have the exact same DNA.”

He swore quietly. What had, until this second, been a game he’d wanted to win had just gotten a whole lot more serious.

“What?” she asked. “What’s wrong?”

Disappointed didn’t begin to describe the reality of knowing he could never have her. Nevada was all sass and temptation. Smart, funny and skilled with a backhoe. Did it get any better than that?

He’d imagined them in bed, naked, hungry. He’d wanted to know what it felt like to please her, to have her screaming his name. Sure, that was a lot of male ego, but he didn’t think wanting to please her was a hanging offense. But now, everything was different.

“I’m not that guy,” he said flatly.

She shrugged her shoulders. “What guy?”

“The white picket fence guy—Finn, Simon. I’m the guy who doesn’t get involved. I did that once and I’m not going back. It’s hell.”

She rolled her eyes. “You’re a little dramatic today. What you felt for Cat wasn’t love. It was…” Her eyes widened. “Oh. You’re not talking generalities. You’re talking about us. Not that there is an us.”

“There’s an us.”

“Okay.”

She shifted in her seat. “I wasn’t expecting you to marry me just because we slept together. Not that we’ve done that, either.”

“We were going to.”

Color flared on her cheeks. “I hadn’t decided.”

He had and he’d been confident in his ability to convince her it was a good idea. Not anymore, he thought grimly. He liked her and respected her enough not to play games.

“You were right to say our work relationship had to come first,” he told her. “That we shouldn’t get personally involved. I was wrong to push. This project is important to me and you’re a key member of my team. I won’t forget that again.”

An emotion chased across her face. He couldn’t read it, nor could he guess. Relief made the most sense. Assuming his disappointment was more about his own ego than it was about her.

“Okay, then,” she murmured, then glanced at her watch. “I’m supposed to meet my sisters to strategize about our meeting with Mom. I’ll pass on the coffee.”

“Sure.”

She collected her keys and purse, then left.

He watched her go, wondering if she really had to be somewhere or if she was trying to get away from him. In the end, he knew it didn’t matter. From time to time he might be a bastard, just like every other guy on the planet, but he was determined to do the right thing when it came to Nevada.

BY THE NEXT MORNING Nevada had nearly convinced herself that Tucker was smart to insist they return to a “business only” relationship. The decision was sensible and easier in the long run. If she was a tiny bit annoyed that he didn’t find her irresistible, well, that was something she would have to get over. If she was sad that there wouldn’t be any more amazing kisses, that was a fact she would deal with over time. It wasn’t as if she’d fallen for him or anything.