One More Chance (Chance, #2)(32)

Blaire came back inside, followed by Rush. His eyes went straight to Nate. “You want me, little man?” he said, grinning as if he didn’t already know the answer.

“Take the oatmeal with you, and see if you can get him to eat it while y’all do your male bonding,” Blaire said.

Rush unbuckled Nate, who was now clapping happily, and took the bowl Blaire was holding out for him. He bent down and kissed Blaire. I turned my head when I saw the tip of his tongue swipe her bottom lip.

“I got this guy. He’ll eat for me. You two talk. Grant and I will teach Nate about the world.”

Blaire laughed as she sat back down. “Oh, good Lord. That doesn’t sound good.”

Rush winked and sauntered back out of the house with the baby and a bowl of oatmeal in his arms. He didn’t look anything like a daddy, with his tattoo-covered arms, but he was a really good one. He was how I pictured Grant being.

“I’d ask you if you wanted some coffee, but that’s off-limits,” Blaire said, leaning back in her chair with a sigh. “How are things? Is Grant doing OK with everything?”

I wasn’t sure how to answer this. It had been two weeks since we had heard the heartbeat, and he was much better. He even called it a baby now. Before, he had acted as if it didn’t exist. The baby was real to him now. I had seen it in his eyes the moment it clicked for him. But he was still edgy. And he was determined to make sure I was well taken care of. “Hearing the heartbeat helped him. I think he gets it now, at least somewhat. He understands what I’m feeling, that there’s a life in there that we made, and I can’t just end it. I don’t think he would fight me if I decided to end the pregnancy tomorrow, but he does have some connection to the baby now. That’s a start.”

Blaire frowned. She wasn’t a frowner, so seeing her frown was strange. “He’s scared of losing you. I think right now, he’d sacrifice anyone other than you. He loves you.” Her face transformed from the frown to a smile. “And I am so happy he found you. I always knew Grant was so much more than the women he paraded in and out of his bedroom.”

I tried not to flinch.

Blaire squeezed her eyes tightly closed. “I’m so sorry! I shouldn’t have said that. I just . . . I know what Rush’s past was like firsthand. I actually saw him ha**ng s*x with one of his many one-night stands before we were dating. And I saw him heavily making out with another one. And I saw another one leaving his room one morning. I guess I’m immune to Rush’s past. It was before me, and it doesn’t bother me. But you didn’t see all of that with Grant. I need to watch my tongue.”

I hadn’t known Blaire had seen Rush ha**ng s*x with another woman. Even if it was before her, that still seemed awful. But then, their relationship didn’t start out in a typical way. They were stepsiblings, and Blaire had been dumped into Rush’s lap by her dad without Rush’s consent.

“It’s fine. I know what Grant was like. I did hear him ha**ng s*x with Nan; I just can’t imagine seeing it.”

Blaire shuddered. “I don’t want the visual, either, so let’s change the subject. Are you going to find out the sex of the baby?”

We were. I wanted to know, just in case I didn’t get that chance to hold my baby. I wanted to know what I was having. I wanted to name it and talk to it. I also wanted to stop calling it an it. “Yes. We’re going to find out.”

Blaire smiled. “I loved knowing what Nate was before he arrived. I was able to daydream about him and talk to him, and of course, Rush decorated his room for him. Wait . . . where will you put the baby?”

There was no extra room in Grant’s condo. I had thought about moving the dresser in the bedroom out into the living room and putting the baby’s crib there. But we didn’t even have a crib yet. I had no idea what our plans were. “I’m not sure yet. We’ll have to make room in the bedroom for the crib.”

As much as I didn’t want to think about the worst case, I had to plan for it. I couldn’t leave Grant without any preparation. I knew Maryann was ready to step up and take the baby if she had to. I was secure knowing that if Grant couldn’t handle it or didn’t want that sole responsibility, Maryann was prepared. But I wanted Grant to keep our baby. I wanted our baby to chant “Dada” over and over again and raise its little arms at the sight of Grant. I just couldn’t be sure that was what would happen, especially not right away.

If he needed to grieve.

“Your thoughts just went downhill. It’s all over your face. What did I say?” Blaire was so observant. I needed to be careful. I didn’t want her thinking I was preparing to die. I didn’t want anyone to think that, because I intended to live. I just wasn’t living in a fairy tale, and I knew that it was possible I wasn’t strong enough.

“I’m sorry. Sometimes I overplan in my head. I like to be prepared for everything,” I explained, and forced a smile I didn’t feel.

Grant

Rush came back outside, with Nate in his arms and a bowl of something. Nate spotted me and clapped. “Yeah, that’s your gullible uncle Grant who keeps picking up the shit you drop.”

“He’s gonna end up cursing around Blaire, and you’re gonna be sleeping on the couch for a week. Maybe she’ll stick your ass under the stairs. I hear payback is a bitch,” I told him, referring to how Blaire had slept in a room under Rush’s stairs when she first came to town.