One Dance with a Duke (Stud Club #1)(113)

“You feel that way about Amelia?”

“Yes,” he said simply. No matter how many differences he’d had with his father and his uncle, here was one thing they shared in common. He was a Dumarque man at his core. He would love one woman until he died, and there could never be another. God help him if she didn’t feel the same.

Claudia looked askance at him. “If you truly feel that way, you could do a better job of showing it.”

“You’re right,” he agreed. “I could do a better job of it with you, too. I plan to improve.”

Her eyes shimmered. “Do you plan to start soon?”

When he was seventeen years old, Spencer had spent five miserable weeks aboard a two-masted brig to cross the Atlantic Ocean. That trip had been a pleasant afternoon jaunt compared to the arduous journey he made now. He rose from his chair, crossed the vast expanse of the library carpet, and sat down beside his ward.

He placed a hand on her shoulder. “Whatever you decide, Claudia, you will always have a home here. And you will always be loved.”

She started to weep. He hoped they were a good sort of tears. Regardless, he slid his arm around her shoulders and gathered her into a hug.

He felt rather proud of himself for it, but evidently he still needed practice to perfect the art. After a moment, Claudia sniffed and said, “I miss Amelia.”

He gathered her even closer then, because he needed to be hugged back. “I miss her, too.”

“When is she coming home?”

“I don’t know. She may not come back to Braxton Hall.”

Claudia straightened, pulling back to stare at him. “Whatever do you mean? Go fetch her!”

“But … I’m not certain exactly where she is at the moment.”

“You’re the Duke of Morland. Find her!”

“I’m not sure she wants to be found.” He could scarcely believe he was discussing this with Claudia … but then again, who else did he have to ask? “I bullied her quite a bit at the outset, and I don’t want to make the same mistake again. I miss her, yes. But I want her to be happy most of all. If she comes back, I want her to come freely. Willingly.”

Her eyes went wide. “Then convince her. Fall at her feet and grovel. Make some grand gesture of apology. Tell her that sweet little story you just told me and profess your undying love. Really, Spencer, don’t you know anything about romance?”

Chapter Twenty-three

It was a fine summer morning on the Bristol docks, and for once a ray of fortune was shining on the d’Orsays. A merchant brigantine called the Angelica sailed with the tide, bound for Boston.

Jack would be on it.

Amelia’s nose wrinkled as she squinted at her brother through the blaring midday sun. She wished she’d thought to purchase him a hat with a wider brim. With his fair skin, he’d be crisped to currant red after one day at sea.

“Well?” he said.

In a last sisterly gesture, she smoothed the lint from Jack’s coat sleeves with her gloved hands. “What a grand adventure you’re going to have. I believe Hugh would be very envious.”

“I like to think he’s coming with me.”

“Perhaps he is.” She threw her arms around her brother and hugged him tight. “I love you,” she whispered fiercely. “Don’t ever dream otherwise. But I just can’t take care of you any longer. It’s time you learned to take care of yourself.”

“I know,” he said. “I know.”

She pulled back and withdrew a small bundle from her reticule. The knotted handkerchief contained a heavy clutch of coins. “Your passage is already paid. This is all I have to give you for expenses.”

“Thank you,” he said, reaching for the makeshift purse of gold and silver. “I’ll do my best not to lose it the first night out from land.”

She tried to laugh, but she knew the danger of him doing just that was great. She kept her hand on the handkerchief, refusing to let him take it yet.

“If you do lose it, don’t write me for more. If you wander home a few months from now, having landed yourself in trouble again and looking for my help … I won’t give it.” Much as it pained her to speak those words, she knew she had to say them. Cut the leading strings. Perhaps if Jack understood she wouldn’t be there to catch him, he might take greater precautions not to fall. “This is the very last time I save you, do you understand? I will pray for you and always love you. But after this, not a penny more.”

With that, she let go of the handkerchief. It was much easier to release her grip on that bit of linen than it was to let go of her responsibility for him. But she had to do both. She deserved to be happy, too, and she couldn’t imagine happiness without Spencer. She simply couldn’t risk letting Jack come between them again.

Spencer was right; she did have to make a choice. But this wasn’t a matter of deciding between her brother and her husband. It was a matter of deciding to seize happiness and let go of guilt.

Amelia was choosing herself.

“I’d best be going, then.” He glanced over his shoulder at the Angelica’s gangplank. “I hate to leave you alone here. Is Morland coming for you?”

She shook her head. “He’s taken Claudia home to Cambridgeshire. I’ve sent an express to Laurent. He’ll help me close up the cottage, and then we’ll travel back to London together.”