On the Record (Record #2)(68)

Liz bit her lip. She couldn’t think about last fall. That was Brady territory, and Brady no longer existed.

“Thanks,” Liz said softly.

Victoria put her popcorn on the ground and pulled Liz into a hug. That broke her down. Tears fell from Liz’s eyes as she cried into her best friend’s shoulder. They didn’t have to say anything else. Victoria just let her cry as long as she needed.

The next morning she didn’t even bother sorting through the missed calls, messages, and voicemails. She just pulled her hair up into a messy bun on the top of her head and slid into a pair of yoga pants and a sweater. Then she called Hayden.

He answered on the first ring. Maybe before the first ring finished. He must have been holding it for him to answer that quickly.

“Lizzie . . .”

“Hey,” she murmured.

“I’m so glad you called.”

“Look, Hayden,” she said, burying her head in her hands, “I think we need to talk.”

She heard his sharp intake of breath on the other line.

“I’m at Hannity’s place. I can come see you if that works for you.”

He was still in Chapel Hill. Of course he would still be in Chapel Hill. That only made sense. He probably hadn’t wanted to leave until he got to see her again.

“Sure. Come on over.”

“I’ll be there in ten minutes,” he said. “Liz?”

“Mmm?”

He sighed heavily. “Please don’t do anything drastic.”

“Hayden, can we talk when you get here?” she whispered.

“Yeah. Yeah, I’ll see you soon.”

Hayden arrived no more than ten minutes later. Exactly prompt. Just as he had said he would be. She hadn’t expected anything less, but after last night everything was all out of whack. Normally Hayden was perfectly put together. Meticulous was the best word to describe him, but he wasn’t anything like that today.

He looked like a wreck. He looked as if he hadn’t slept all night. Or as if any sleep he had gotten had been restless. He wore the same clothes from yesterday, but rumpled, as if he had slept in them. His eyes were slightly bloodshot and he had stubble brushing across his cheeks and chin. She had never seen him anything but clean-shaven.

At the sight of him, her heart softened a bit. He was clearly f**ked up over what had happened and realized how much of a mistake he had made. And she had made a mistake. A big f**king mistake. He wasn’t the only one to blame in this situation, but he didn’t know that, and he looked sheepish when he walked in.

“Hey,” he said, closing the door behind him.

“Hi.” She crossed her arms over her chest uncomfortably. This was going to be painful.

He glanced over at Victoria’s closed bedroom door and then back at Liz. “Can we go talk in your room?”

Liz nodded. “Sure.”

They retreated back to the bedroom and Liz took a seat on her bed. She crossed her feet pretzel style and stared down at her hands. She knew that she should start, but she didn’t even know where to begin.

“Look, Liz,” Hayden said, combing through his hair with his fingers. “I know you said that we need to talk, but I’d really like to go first, if that’s all right.”

“Um . . . sure.”

“I’m really sorry about what I said. It was uncalled for, and irresponsible of me to accuse you of hurting the paper based on a few unread emails. I know you have a lot on your plate, and I just took my frustration with my new job out on you. And it was irresponsible of me as your boyfriend,” he said, looking up into her eyes, “to dismiss your feelings so easily.”

“Hayden,” she murmured.

“No, Liz, please. I don’t know what was wrong with me last night. I shouldn’t have said the things I said. And I damn well shouldn’t have let you walk out of the door angry. That’s not the kind of person I am. I should have run after you. I should have stopped you.”

“Yeah, you should have,” she said softly. Guilt tugged at her even as the words fell from her mouth.

He nodded slowly. “I was stupid to not follow you. I was stupid about a lot of things. But in the year that we’ve been dating, we’ve never had an argument like this before. Discussions about our differences, but nothing like this. I think that really says something about us. I can’t promise you it will always be perfect, Liz, because it won’t. And I can’t promise I’ll always be the perfect guy for you.”

Liz tried to breathe easy . . . normal. All of these things he couldn’t promise sounded so familiar . . .

Hayden continued, “I can’t promise you that we won’t argue or fight or disagree like we did last night. I can’t promise you any of these things, but I can promise you, on the record,” he said, with that beautiful Hayden smile, “that I’ll always be here and I’ll never let go. I am not a perfect man, but I’ll always be yours, imperfections and all, if you’ll have me.”

Oh the sincerity. Liz put her hand on her head and tried to process it. She had thought he would apologize, but all of this. It was so much.

He was right: they had never had an argument before this. This was a doozy of an argument. Not to mention the bullshit with him smoking. She didn’t even know what to make of it, but how could she ask him if she didn’t tell him that she had been spying on him and that she hadn’t left right away? How was she supposed to explain that away logically?