On the Record (Record #2)(61)
She didn’t want to watch him, but at the same time she couldn’t tear her eyes away. It was like watching someone else. A stranger. Her Hayden was always calm and collected.
He held the door propped open, clearly lost in deep thought. Liz narrowed her eyes as he reached into his pocket. She watched him pull something out, but he had turned partially away from her, so she couldn’t see what it was. As she tried to figure it out, her phone buzzed next to her. She jumped and grabbed at her cell phone, not wanting him to notice the light in the distance.
Liz debated answering it, but after a second she silenced it. She didn’t really want to talk to Hayden right now.
The call ended. She watched him hang up the phone and place it back into his pocket.
After a second he dug something out of his other pocket. In shock, she watched the Zippo lighter from across the parking lot as the cigarette flared to life in his hand. Her mouth was hanging open as he took a long drag from the cigarette, breathing in deeply. His chest expanded and his head dipped back ever so slightly, as if he had just tasted a piece of heaven.
Her mouth went dry. This wasn’t Hayden. He would never smoke. He abhorred the dirty habit. Christ, he was a runner! How the hell could he run for miles if he had cigarette smoke clogging his lungs?
She watched, completely astonished, as he drew another long drag on the cigarette before almost viciously throwing it off to the side. His hands visibly shook before fisting angrily into his hair. She could have sworn he cursed, but she couldn’t hear him against the howling wind.
His hands fell out of his hair, but stayed in fists and slammed uselessly against the metal door. Violent. Not a word that she would have ever used to describe Hayden. He shook out his fists, seeming only to grow angrier.
Clearly debating with himself, he pushed the newspaper door closed before storming across the parking lot to his car. The lights to his Audi came to life right before he recklessly peeled out of the parking lot.
His car disappeared, and she felt as numb as the cold surrounding her.
Their argument was spiraling further and further out of control. She could see the pieces of the puzzle laid out before her as to how to fix this situation, but instead of moving them into place she tossed them off to the side. She stood up. Today she was bereft of the willingness to make it right.
And she was strangely okay with it all. Of course, she was shaken by Hayden’s reaction. What was he doing with cigarettes in his pocket? That wasn’t some freak accident. He’d had them with him. How long had he been hiding it from her? It made her wonder what else he was lying about, and made her sick to think about what had transpired between them. Yet, despite that, she couldn’t help but want him to suffer for how he had treated her. Her heart contracted, but she couldn’t shake the feeling.
Headlights blazed across the now empty parking lot, and Liz scrambled to her feet, brushing the crumpled leaves from the dark denim of her jeans. Her feet carried her down the hill, across the street, and out into the open lot. Her body was warming for a reason that had nothing to do with the cold and everything to do with the anticipation of seeing Brady, being alone with Brady.
Brady. What the hell was she going to say when she saw him? So much time had passed. How would he even react? The last time she had seen him, he had told her to just stay out of his life. The last time they had talked, he had said that he would fly from D.C. to see her. She didn’t know which Brady she would see tonight. It made her stomach knot in anticipation.
His black Lexus slid evenly across the black pavement straight toward her, the bright lights the indication of his approach. She didn’t even notice until it glided right up to her that her hands were shaking.
The tinted window slowly rolled down, revealing the all-black leather interior that she had spent a good deal of time in. She glanced around anxiously even though she knew that the only other person nearby had left in a rage minutes beforehand.
“Hey,” she murmured softly, leaning forward through the window and getting her first up-close look at Brady in what felt like a lifetime. He was flawless. It was undeniable. Whatever had gone on between them, whatever had ended it all—it didn’t change how attracted she was to him. How attracted she had always been to him.
“Get in the car,” he said, unlocking the doors.
“Brady . . .” She trailed off. She couldn’t believe that he was here right now. She couldn’t believe she was staring at this beautiful face and that she was talking to him. She couldn’t believe she’d had the guts to call him and that he was here. She just wanted to stare at him, but instead she said the only thing that she could muster enough courage to say: “I don’t think we should do this.”
“Get in the car.”
“Look, it’s not a good idea. I’m really messed up. Calling you was impulsive and thoughtless of me. I shouldn’t have freaked you out. But driving away with you right now would be even worse,” she told him, hugging herself tightly. All she wanted to do was say the exact opposite of what was coming out of her mouth. She wanted to drive off into the sunset with him and never look back. She always had.
“Get in the car, Liz.”
“I’m still dating him, Brady. Think about what you would feel if you were him. Think about how much it would hurt if he knew about this—about what I’m thinking of doing,” she said even softer than before, her whole body nearly trembling with the anxiety.